"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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rebuilding social/dating life pre covid lockdown

SW15

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If some women rejects me I'm not really bothered by that.
The following negative things have happened to me at the gym or fitness classes with approaches.
1. Had a first date, went nowhere. That's a mild negative.
2. Have gotten rejected going for phone numbers
3. Have gotten phone numbers, but a flake before a date could occur
4. Have gotten rejected in a non-memorable way.
5. Got rejected by one woman, was given a horse manure excuse of having just gotten out of a relationship (she had moved to the city 6 months earlier so she likely had 6 months of freedom), and then less than 2 months later I saw her at a grocery store with some tall, muscular guy. I had to keep ignoring her at the gym for a period of years until I stopped seeing her. That really stunk.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

Read more...

sangheilios

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Before the fake pandemic, meetups for young adults were all very active. Even in smaller cities, turnouts were pretty strong. In bigger cities, young adult meetups could get triple digit attendees. Ratios weren't great, but 20/80 to 30/70 isn't much different than what you'd see at most bars or clubs, either.
That's a good point about the ratios being comparable to bars/clubs. However, depending upon how many people attend makes a difference, like you said a large meetup group for something like volleyball or insert whatever activity could work. I think the problem is when you get these meetup groups where you have like maybe 15 people attend, from what I've seen in my area in the past when I looked into it this was the case the vast majority of the time.
 

SW15

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Before the fake pandemic, meetups for young adults were all very active. Even in smaller cities, turnouts were pretty strong. In bigger cities, young adult meetups could get triple digit attendees. Ratios weren't great, but 20/80 to 30/70 isn't much different than what you'd see at most bars or clubs, either.
The female audience in most bars or clubs pre-fake pandemic was stronger than the audience of most Meetup groups.
 

bonesmahoney

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I wouldn't write off gym approaches, but it's not ideal, either. Aside from getting your workout in in a generally fun, upbeat environment, the gym (used to be) a great place to get in some face time. Meaning, even if you don't approach, you can be seen as a familiar face and vice versa. So when you see that hot girl later, it's easy to strike up a conversation.

"Hey don't you go to my gym?"
"Oh yeah, what's your name?"
blah blah blah

SW, do you mean women were more receptive at meetups or less compared to bars and clubs?
 

sangheilios

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I wouldn't write off gym approaches, but it's not ideal, either. Aside from getting your workout in in a generally fun, upbeat environment, the gym (used to be) a great place to get in some face time. Meaning, even if you don't approach, you can be seen as a familiar face and vice versa. So when you see that hot girl later, it's easy to strike up a conversation.

"Hey don't you go to my gym?"
"Oh yeah, what's your name?"
blah blah blah
Yeah, I agree with you on this, it actually can be a great place to meet a woman but I think you need to really be on top of things in an environment like this to avoid unnecessary awkwardness. Most people there are pretty chill from my personal experience, I have people ask me questions about what I'm doing and done the same myself.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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SW15

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SW, do you mean women were more receptive at meetups or less compared to bars and clubs?
I meant worse looking but easier to approach. Approaching at Meetups takes less guts than an approach in an ordinary bar/club environment.
 
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