"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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REALLY new to dating...need some advice

solitaryone

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Okay, I'm 27 years old and I'm really new to dating. But I've recently met this cute girl in school and I've managed to get her number. I gave her a call about a week ago to set up a date but she was busy. She gave me the "how about next week" reply though.

I usually see this girl at least twice a week in school and I've been trying to play it cool when I see her. I gave her another call about a date and I haven't gotten a reply. So I'm wondering what all the more experienced DJs here think and what I should do now. I was thinking of just reminding her the next time I see her, something like "Hey are you still good for Saturday?" or something along those lines.

Another thing: What are your opinions on dating co-workers? There's a new girl in the place I work and she is very cute. I'll be working with her for probably the entire year and I'm wondering if I have a shot, or if I should forget it just because I work with her.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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kdnash82

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I would forget about the girl that you go to school with. Sometimes girls will say "I'm busy, how about next week?" In some situations they're actually genuine and are busy and want to go out another time. At this point I would give her a date. If she's still busy on that day and doesn't give me a day that she's not busy, I will next her.

This girl didn't give you another day. She hasn't gotten back to you. I would put this energy towards another girl.

I'm totally against dating at work. I believe work is work and when you mix business with pleasure things get really sticky. People find it hard seperating the two once you cross those paths. Others might feel differntly and will be able to give you a valid arugment with their point.
 

joekerr31

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since you are in school i HIGHLY suggest that you focus on first building up a network of female friends.

trust me, i wen to school with a guy who had tons of female friends, and i'm telling ya, they ALL wanted to bang him.

he was just your average joe in many regards, but he became the prize. in this group of women they were all vying for his attention. he could have plucked any one of them out at any time and f*cked them no problem.

but he was smart, he used them as social proof and scored all the time as a result.

stop focusing on ONE chic and focus instead of developing relationships with lots of chics.
 

solitaryone

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Thanks everyone for the advice.

joekerr: Ya that's what I'm working on. There's another girl at school that I'm going after. Is there any difference to the approach when you're trying to build up that network of female friends as opposed to one you want to hook up with?
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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blueguy

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Well, there is another guy who posts here that is older and also new to dating... I forget his name......... oh yeah.......... Azanon! I think he's like 35? So he may actually be a little worse off than you. Anyway, I'm sure he could offer you some tips since you guys are basically both in the same boat.
 

STR8UP

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joekerr31 said:
since you are in school i HIGHLY suggest that you focus on first building up a network of female friends.

trust me, i wen to school with a guy who had tons of female friends, and i'm telling ya, they ALL wanted to bang him.
What? Did I hear you correctly? Is someone condoning my methods? I thought you were one of the guys ready to burn me at the stake for having female friends.

Oh no, wait, that was Latinoman. My bad.
 

solitaryone

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Any tips for approaching complete strangers? A lot of times I just find that I don't know what to say if I just see someone on the street etc.
 

destiny

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the first thing i'd taught you is delete the words TRY and HOPE out of your mind.. whenever you use them you'll FAIL. Forget those words and use only the 100% positive statement I WILL DO, I'LL MAKE IT, I'LL SUCCEED and I'M POSITIVE or I LOVE IT
 

solitaryone

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Okay, basically what happened is that I've asked this girl out twice and both times she flaked out on me. Incidentally, this is just like what happened the very first time I was able to get a phone # successfully. It's like after I manage to get their phone #s I can't seem to get a date. Both times I waited a bit (2-3 days) before I call them up for a date. Both times I'm unsuccessful. What am I doing wrong? Am I not doing something I should be doing?
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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