Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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REALLY new to dating...need some advice

solitaryone

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Okay, I'm 27 years old and I'm really new to dating. But I've recently met this cute girl in school and I've managed to get her number. I gave her a call about a week ago to set up a date but she was busy. She gave me the "how about next week" reply though.

I usually see this girl at least twice a week in school and I've been trying to play it cool when I see her. I gave her another call about a date and I haven't gotten a reply. So I'm wondering what all the more experienced DJs here think and what I should do now. I was thinking of just reminding her the next time I see her, something like "Hey are you still good for Saturday?" or something along those lines.

Another thing: What are your opinions on dating co-workers? There's a new girl in the place I work and she is very cute. I'll be working with her for probably the entire year and I'm wondering if I have a shot, or if I should forget it just because I work with her.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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kdnash82

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I would forget about the girl that you go to school with. Sometimes girls will say "I'm busy, how about next week?" In some situations they're actually genuine and are busy and want to go out another time. At this point I would give her a date. If she's still busy on that day and doesn't give me a day that she's not busy, I will next her.

This girl didn't give you another day. She hasn't gotten back to you. I would put this energy towards another girl.

I'm totally against dating at work. I believe work is work and when you mix business with pleasure things get really sticky. People find it hard seperating the two once you cross those paths. Others might feel differntly and will be able to give you a valid arugment with their point.
 

joekerr31

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since you are in school i HIGHLY suggest that you focus on first building up a network of female friends.

trust me, i wen to school with a guy who had tons of female friends, and i'm telling ya, they ALL wanted to bang him.

he was just your average joe in many regards, but he became the prize. in this group of women they were all vying for his attention. he could have plucked any one of them out at any time and f*cked them no problem.

but he was smart, he used them as social proof and scored all the time as a result.

stop focusing on ONE chic and focus instead of developing relationships with lots of chics.
 

solitaryone

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Thanks everyone for the advice.

joekerr: Ya that's what I'm working on. There's another girl at school that I'm going after. Is there any difference to the approach when you're trying to build up that network of female friends as opposed to one you want to hook up with?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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blueguy

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Well, there is another guy who posts here that is older and also new to dating... I forget his name......... oh yeah.......... Azanon! I think he's like 35? So he may actually be a little worse off than you. Anyway, I'm sure he could offer you some tips since you guys are basically both in the same boat.
 

STR8UP

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joekerr31 said:
since you are in school i HIGHLY suggest that you focus on first building up a network of female friends.

trust me, i wen to school with a guy who had tons of female friends, and i'm telling ya, they ALL wanted to bang him.
What? Did I hear you correctly? Is someone condoning my methods? I thought you were one of the guys ready to burn me at the stake for having female friends.

Oh no, wait, that was Latinoman. My bad.
 

solitaryone

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Any tips for approaching complete strangers? A lot of times I just find that I don't know what to say if I just see someone on the street etc.
 

destiny

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the first thing i'd taught you is delete the words TRY and HOPE out of your mind.. whenever you use them you'll FAIL. Forget those words and use only the 100% positive statement I WILL DO, I'LL MAKE IT, I'LL SUCCEED and I'M POSITIVE or I LOVE IT
 

solitaryone

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Okay, basically what happened is that I've asked this girl out twice and both times she flaked out on me. Incidentally, this is just like what happened the very first time I was able to get a phone # successfully. It's like after I manage to get their phone #s I can't seem to get a date. Both times I waited a bit (2-3 days) before I call them up for a date. Both times I'm unsuccessful. What am I doing wrong? Am I not doing something I should be doing?
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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