Really lost

[Arnzy]

I don't know where to start.

I am 19 soon and really lost at the moment. It seems like I can't handle my life.
I've been in couple of ltrs. I was beta once, like most of guys.
Then I found this site and red pill and things like that. I can make new contacts/friends so easily now. I even got a girl's contacts when running a marathon, lol.

But, my main problem is that I'm really psycho. I can't control myself at all. I just do things. First, I'm narcissist. I don't feel emphaty and things like that at all. I don't care about anyone. I don't feel the line between what is okay to do and what isn't.

At the moment, my head is really f*cked up because of ltr with girl who is also crazy. For example, we recently fight physically. I just laughed and told her to do something, to hit me. I can't control myself, I just told her things that you never tell to somebody. Blood flowed over my hands, I still have serious scars because of that. But I still just laughed and manipulated more. I don't even remember these moments. Finally she had mental breakdown and started to hit herself against wall. Then I stopped and just f*cked her.
I don't even know what is the point of this post. I want to get out of this situation. But I really don't know how to control myself.

Yesterday I just told her to be ready, that I will bring her over my place. I don't know, we had sex for 2 hours, everything was good. Then she suddenly changed, but gave me 14 kisses before she left the car and then blocked me everywhere. I know one extremely beta guy is hitting on her. But same time I know he can't give her anything. She is crazy about sex and this guy is virgin, I think. Wants to hold her and hug her, I saw their messages. Same time she tells that no one has ever f*cked her so good that I do. And she isn't the first who tells that. May be because that I never try to impress anyone. I just do what i enjoy.

But now I'm really lost. I have exams soon and I can't focus on school and on important things. I don't know how to get out of this circle. Of course I text other girls, won't turn down a chance to have sex with someone else, but I can't control myself to do no contact or next her. I'm so angry at myself. I should next her, but today sent her a message that.. "It's f*ckin showtime, my dear. See you soon."
I see her everyday at school so it's definitely a showtime.

I don't even know what I expect to hear. But may be you know what should I do to get out of this?

 

[El Payaso]

See a shrink.

 

[marmel75]

Its not just you, your entire generation is lost.

Your generation should aptly be named "Dazed and Confused"

What an epic disaster the world will be in 30 years.

 

[TheGambino]

I would apply to become Donald Trup's right hand.

 

[Roober]

Hate to say it, but you are not alpha. Alpha's have a high emotional intelligence. Sounds like you need to seek professional help. It is also a mindset, not just a set of actions you perform. Sorry to say bud, but you got it all wrong and should start from the beginning...

 

[AlphaNate]

You're 18 years old and dealing with drama of 18-year-olds. Take in all these lessons, man. They'll come in handy.

And maybe see that shrink.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

I was a little like you once upon a time. The way I fixed it was that I just told myself to be normal. "Don't be weird, be normal" every time I was going into one of my crazy mental states, I would force myself to be normal. Eventually I learned how to control my anger. When someone would say something, I would just let it happen and blow it off. Of course it builds up if they keep on doing it, but if someone made a funny joke about me I wouldn't take it personal, I would just fake it at first. Fake it till you make it. The only time I would fire back is if they had strong intent to insult and there was no way of going around it or taking it lightly. Then I would harness some of the hatred in me towards them and roast the hell out of them. Never really had much problem once I figured out how to just let things slide. Even on here there are 20 year olds, 30 year olds, 40 year olds, and even some 50 year olds who haven't figured out how to just let it go.

So that is the main thing. Learn to just not do anything despite your ego making you itch just to get the last word in. How do you do this? Because you are physically able to not allow say or do anything in revenge towards someone. That's how I did it. And I learned eventually to just let stuff slide.

Also, learn to be charismatic. Manipulation is one thing, but people will dislike you and stay away from you for doing it if you make it a habit. Learn to be charming instead, because people will almost always be on your side. I learned the difference. Charm is much better anyway, because then you are never in the wrong. Higher level sociopathy if you ask me. It's much more efficient too.

 

[Arnzy]

I know I'm not alpha. I'm in this stage where I know what is an alpha mindset and what is not, but I can't figure out how to develope this mindset. DJ bible is good, this forum helps so much and I see how these techniques work. I know what I should do and how to react but then I do everything opposite.

 

[Floydispink01]

Join a boxing gym and vent all that anger and frustration on a bag. You will be invigorated very quickly.