Hey guys, I have a serious problem here. During my high school years in another country, I was branded racist names because I was the only race in my school. I suffered from some illnesses, and had to take steroids and such, causing my whole body to inflame, causing me to look like a blimp. I was massacred with respect to my outer appearance by girls with names that I still remember like “big nose $******”, and I hated going out until it was night time. Anyway, the point I’m making is that I left from there with the self confidence of shyt.
Now, after coming back to the states and finishing my high school, I have now entered college. My high school years in the states weren’t bad at all, but I was and still am so quiet and shy because of my very low self-confidence and my fear of being rejected. I’m in my second year of college right now. The only thing that is different with me now is that I am considered to be very attractive by girls. Numerous times girls have said stuff like, “Wow,” or “Damn, he is too fine” when I have passed by. Girls that I would consider supermodels who I think are not even in my league are attracted to me. However, when I look in one mirror, I’m like, “how the fuk can a girl find this attractive?”, then in another, I’m like, “damn, your on fine a$$ mofo.” I’m way to insecure. For instance, when I look around, I never turn my head completely and look at a girl because I think my side looking is very nasty (I look like I'm retarded).
Just to give you an idea of my appearance, I am 5’6, 140 pounds (small guy lol), moustache, small gotti, hair slicked back, and look like a Puerto Rican gangsta without even trying. However, the problem here is that I am the SAME person. I don’t have the personality to back up my image. Case in point. When I go to the computer lab, some hot girls sit near me, and start doing stuff to get my attention. What do I do? I immediately close everything and leave the scene because I get a dry mouth and choke. When I walk around campus, guys look at me like I’m some Don Juan, but what do I do? I am embarrassed and shy they are looking and don’t want to look arrogant so I look down. I get all weird when I walk around because (this might sound stupid) I feel too damn fine. When girls make eye contact with me, I look at them and then look away knowing full well they wanna get it on.
This one girl was "dancing" on the right side of me in the computer lab once trying to get my attention, and then said I had the biggest ego she had ever seen!!! Wow, that can not be farther from the truth. Some guys treat me like shyt because of my appearance like I have this ego. My appearance looks so intimidating but inside I'm a little kid wanting to just fit in. I am thinking maybe I should just dress a little nerdier so that guys and girls don't look at me as much. I don’t know what to do. Please help.
Now, after coming back to the states and finishing my high school, I have now entered college. My high school years in the states weren’t bad at all, but I was and still am so quiet and shy because of my very low self-confidence and my fear of being rejected. I’m in my second year of college right now. The only thing that is different with me now is that I am considered to be very attractive by girls. Numerous times girls have said stuff like, “Wow,” or “Damn, he is too fine” when I have passed by. Girls that I would consider supermodels who I think are not even in my league are attracted to me. However, when I look in one mirror, I’m like, “how the fuk can a girl find this attractive?”, then in another, I’m like, “damn, your on fine a$$ mofo.” I’m way to insecure. For instance, when I look around, I never turn my head completely and look at a girl because I think my side looking is very nasty (I look like I'm retarded).
Just to give you an idea of my appearance, I am 5’6, 140 pounds (small guy lol), moustache, small gotti, hair slicked back, and look like a Puerto Rican gangsta without even trying. However, the problem here is that I am the SAME person. I don’t have the personality to back up my image. Case in point. When I go to the computer lab, some hot girls sit near me, and start doing stuff to get my attention. What do I do? I immediately close everything and leave the scene because I get a dry mouth and choke. When I walk around campus, guys look at me like I’m some Don Juan, but what do I do? I am embarrassed and shy they are looking and don’t want to look arrogant so I look down. I get all weird when I walk around because (this might sound stupid) I feel too damn fine. When girls make eye contact with me, I look at them and then look away knowing full well they wanna get it on.
This one girl was "dancing" on the right side of me in the computer lab once trying to get my attention, and then said I had the biggest ego she had ever seen!!! Wow, that can not be farther from the truth. Some guys treat me like shyt because of my appearance like I have this ego. My appearance looks so intimidating but inside I'm a little kid wanting to just fit in. I am thinking maybe I should just dress a little nerdier so that guys and girls don't look at me as much. I don’t know what to do. Please help.
