"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Real Life Socialite On Online Dating?

ThisNThat

Banned
Joined
Feb 13, 2017
Messages
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Age
54
This particular woman is rather well known in the community, is self-employed marketer. Really don't know what she does, but she hosts a lot of social mixers and such.

The one thing she pointed out in her profile that was particularly eye-catching/presumptuous on her part is where she said that "If you already know me or we've met...then don't contact me because chances are, if we didn't click romantically in person, it means it won't happen here."

I was like "Wow, just when I was about to email BECAUSE I knew her would give me a step-ahead of the sea of horny losers in her inbox."

Just curious as to why she would discount men she already met in person?
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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marmel75

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 4, 2012
Messages
7,175
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This particular woman is rather well known in the community, is self-employed marketer. Really don't know what she does, but she hosts a lot of social mixers and such.

The one thing she pointed out in her profile that was particularly eye-catching/presumptuous on her part is where she said that "If you already know me or we've met...then don't contact me because chances are, if we didn't click romantically in person, it means it won't happen here."

I was like "Wow, just when I was about to email BECAUSE I knew her would give me a step-ahead of the sea of horny losers in her inbox."

Just curious as to why she would discount men she already met in person?
Why would you want to waste time meeting someone you already knew you weren't interested in?
 
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