I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Drdeee said:You can't really really trust anyone, and you can't really have real friends. You can just have good people around and bad people around - those in turn shape shift into friends, near, far, and anything in between.
Pick a good person, test them, and be to them their best friend.
Watch out for people who:
1) ask you to lend them money
2) use your cologne when at your place
3) are members of the underworld
4) have problems with the law
5) do hard drugs other than marijuana
6) .........someone could complete this list
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
These are called friends of convenience. They're only around if they want or need something and are the sweetest people in the world until they get what they were after. Kind of like AFCs.Drdeee said:1) ask you to lend them money
I guess you're obsessive over your cologne?2) use your cologne when at your place
Vampires aren't real. :rock:3) are members of the underworld
Sounds to me like you desert your friends at the first sign of trouble. See point #1. You are a friend of convenience, you're only around when you need something. :rock:4) have problems with the law
Yup nailed it mate and I only have 1 friend like this used to have 3 but the other two got whipped into shape by their wifes.Gaucho said:I'll tell you what real friends ARE (let's be positive here rather than negative):
1) They say a true friend is someone you can not speak to for long periods and when you hang out or talk again, it is like as free and easy to talk as normal with no grudges held.
2) Someone who sticks by you when YOU need it. If you are sick, they will come around to watch a movie with you. If you break up with your girlfriend, they will go out with you for company and to take your mind away.
These are my main two rules with friends. If they don't stick by this, fukc em, drop them like a sack of sh*t!!!
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.