"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

Read more...

Reaction to this bad behavior?

Mental

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Dec 5, 2006
Messages
232
Reaction score
2
Location
Michigan
Ok, so silly me, I'm trying to see if an ex can remain a friend. Hey, sometimes it happens!

So she calls me up (she seems like she's in a good mood), and asks me to coffee. I get there (she's late, as she can be at times). I remind her she's late, change the subject... there are no more seats, so I offer her two options... my seat or outside. She doesn't buy anything, opts for outside. We make small talk for a minute or so, then she starts acting pissed and tells me she's cold, and she's going home. (usually, I offer to walk a girl to her car if it's late at night...). "Ok. 'night." She quickly walks off in a huff.

My response (as it was when she usually was angry at me) is to feign aloofness. If she's pissed and doesn't want to talk about it, then I'm not going to chase after her begging her to tell me what's wrong (AFC drama). My reaction was usually to ignore her anger till she cooled down, (especially if I thought she was angry at me for a stupid reason), or I'd tell her that I'm not fighting with her and not having a conversation until she calms down and can talk to me reasonably. Either way, I usually reacted with some calmness, because being dragged into a petty fight is the opposite of what I think I should do as a man.

Anyway, I walk far behind her (both to make sure she's safe and because my car was near hers and I was heading home (yes, even with the drama she tries, I want to make sure she's safe and doesn't get mugged), and get to my car. She peels out of the lot. And I head home calmly, glad I'm not having the be a dating partner to that any more.

So, what should my reaction be if and when she calls? Forget about it and not call her bad behavior (a week or two from now) and not take it personally, kindly call her on it and refuse to hang ot with her until she behaves better, (perhaps giving her the drama I don't want to give her), or ignore all her phone calls from now on and be "fake friends?" and leave her the heck alone... Mind you, I hate it when people claim they're "Oh so busy" and they just don't bother, so I'd hate to do this except as a last resort...
 

“The 22 Psychological Triggers That Make Women Chase You… Starting Tonight”

Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.

I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.

Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules.  Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.

Read more...

Francisco d'Anconia

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 10, 2003
Messages
15,481
Reaction score
65
Location
Galt's Gulch
Ummm, you guys aren't dating anymore. Why are you worrying about this and treating her as if you were sarging her? Is all this effort even worth it?
 

Bvbidd

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 16, 2006
Messages
1,482
Reaction score
8
You failed with your small talk. She was expecting a fun time, you let her down.
 

Mental

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Dec 5, 2006
Messages
232
Reaction score
2
Location
Michigan
Francisco d'Anconia said:
Ummm, you guys aren't dating anymore. Why are you worrying about this and treating her as if you were sarging her? Is all this effort even worth it?
I'm not trying to sarge her, just trying to make sure I do the right thing as a man.

And what effort? Eh, I went for some coffee. 10 minues into town. I parked, walked 2 minutes, got to the coffee place, I bought my drink, sat down, waited 10 minutes. I talked to her for a minute inside. A minute outside. she had a tiny temper tantrum, she walked to her car, I walked to mine.

Except for the two minutes of talking, and her little attitude problem, I acted like I would have normally.

If that's a lot of effort, then you should get out more... I might have spent about 35 minutes in total on this... maybe 45 typing the post.

You failed with your small talk. She was expecting a fun time, you let her down.
And no, my small talk wasn't boring. She said something about some event, I gave her a good answer (as I get info on this event really early compared to most people. We sat down. "What'd you do ..." "nuthin..." then "I'm cold, I'm leaving." "you ju..." "Whatever" and started walking off.

I was missing a TV show (I was taping), so I said "ok," shrugged, and walked to my car, smiling.
 
Top