"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Re-joined board, I need to build myself back up!!

spdracer95

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Here's my deal, I was a member on this board about 4 years ago and I learned alot from this site. When I joined I had no clue what the dating life was all about. Being burned by many women back in the day I decided enough was enough. After learning from this site I had a lot of success with women but after a while of I began to cut back and slowly but surely I turned back into an AFC which brings me back to this site.

I recently started dating a girl and we have been together almost 5 months. 5 months is a long time for me..trust me. I am at that point where I want to settle with someone and start a life with her. Since I have been with her I constantly find myself doing AFC crap!! For some reason I feel weak as a man around her. I feel that she doesnt respect me that much because of my AFCness. I am at that point in the relationship where it's getting kind of boring. I do love this girl, she is really cool and I get along with her well. But like every relationship it is always exciting in the beginning and then it starts to fizzle out and then you are becoming numb and routine. She has a very hard time expressing her self. Conversations with her is mostly surface level and I don't get that mental stimulation from her as I would like. Well I have decided to hang up my AFC hat once again and step up to the plate and be the man I am supposed to be. I hate feeling like a chump and not respected. I hate that I lost most of the skills I have learned from this site but I will be back on my game.

-Jeremy
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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I.A.F.Y.B.

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 18, 2007
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Well, welcome back!

So, you are finding yourself becoming afc in your LTR sometimes? Well, I made a post on keeping LTR Interest Level. May not be the best but, there isn't much threads on this topic... http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=136122

I would say go back and re-read older threads and get caught up with yourself.
 
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