Rate these illustrations poetry I made

Travel memoir21

Master Don Juan
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So these past few days, I’ve been sketching and writing poetry.

I decided to put the two of them together and made an illustration poetry page, but I’m getting less likes on facebook compared to if I just did some sketches alone.

Do you think this is a very douchebag move if you put the two skills together?

What do you think? Thanks.

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Travel memoir21

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Rate this poem I wrote this year.

‘ Beach Lover’.

‘ I love the beach,
but I would not want to live
near it permanently.

I love it way too much
to ever get bored with it,
that’s why every trip is an occasion.’

It’s a short poem not to take too much space but leave some for the illustration.

64AAC05B-E8EE-4519-8F07-6B2B973B67B9.jpeg
 

Travel memoir21

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Id like to write my own Poetry illustration book someday and title it - ‘ My collection of amateur poetry’.

Don’t care how much it makes, just wanna get it off my chest.
 

lost_blackbird

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Reminds me of Quentin Blakes artwork.
 

Dr.Suave

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Bro if you like doing that stuff its cool, but do it for you, not for the Likes.
 

BillyPilgrim

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OP I like your illustrations and I like the concept. For constructive criticism, practice writing your poetry without the drawings. I think there is some room for improvement there, and if you improve the poetry by itself I think you will have something when you include the illustrations.
 

Travel memoir21

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OP I like your illustrations and I like the concept. For constructive criticism, practice writing your poetry without the drawings. I think there is some room for improvement there, and if you improve the poetry by itself I think you will have something when you include the illustrations.

You just maybe right. I need to work more on my writing. Good idea to write everyday. I read a lot though, don’t know if that would help.

Here’s one with more writing and less drawing.

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DoubleBarrel

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Writing poetry is for f@ggots! Ahahahahhaha! And I just wrote a sonnet just last month. But I'll tell you something: the poet's are the ones who are one step down from God. Next, comes the Philosophers. But we're once removed.
 

Bokanovsky

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I like your sketches. Your poetry needs some work (including fixing grammatical and spelling errors).
 

zekko

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I agree with the others, I like your illustrations. I think you have some natural talent at drawing. Maybe take some lessons on perspective to develop it. The poetry comes off as more amateurish, but I see what you're going for. Just a thought here, but maybe if you tied one sentence to a picture, instead of a whole poem? Sort of like a poster, or a meme.
 

Travel memoir21

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I agree with the others, I like your illustrations. I think you have some natural talent at drawing. Maybe take some lessons on perspective to develop it. The poetry comes off as more amateurish, but I see what you're going for. Just a thought here, but maybe if you tied one sentence to a picture, instead of a whole poem? Sort of like a poster, or a meme.
What do you guys look for in a poem? Commonalities? Something you can relate to?

I try not to write AFC themed poems, I like to write relatable and spiritual poems.
 

Murk

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What do you guys look for in a poem? Commonalities? Something you can relate to?

I try not to write AFC themed poems, I like to write relatable and spiritual poems.
I like my poems to deeply resonate with longing, loss, and hope. Emotive, ethereal... you came close with your boarding a plane poem. Give them a bit more meaning and feeling. Ok you like the beach, so what? Why do you like the beach? How does that beach make you feel, how does it connect with another part/feeling of your life?

I read a poem 25 years ago as a child, about a moth to a flame, really short, been searching for it for years. I struggle to remember it but it still makes me emotional now trying to find it via google.
 

Bokanovsky

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What do you guys look for in a poem? Commonalities? Something you can relate to?

I try not to write AFC themed poems, I like to write relatable and spiritual poems.
There are three basic rules to writing poetry.
  1. Poetry has to be emotional. That doesn't mean it must to be on AFC subject like unrequited love but it has to stir emotions in the reader.
  2. Poetry should not be banal. A poem about simple pleasures like having a beer or going to the beach is unlikely to elicit an emotional response.
  3. Poetry should not be simplistic. That doesn't mean that you have to write like Shakespeare, with the reader having to take a university course to try to understand what your poem is about. However, poetry is ultimately the art of using language in a beautiful way. If your poem reads like a tweet or a text to a friend, it's not a good poem.
To be a good poet, you have to be talented and, to some extent, you also have to be an emotionally troubled person. Why do you think all good musicians/performance artists are so messed up? Think of your favourite band and the lyrics to their songs. Chances are, you like their songs because they make you feel. The mental state required to compose powerful poetry comes from a place of deep hurt, emotional trauma, and, often, substance abuse. It is rarely a product of a happy childhood, loving parents, healthy living and emotional wellbeing.
 
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