"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Rate my writing

snowdog

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Yea guys, I'm thinking of writing a book. Fiction. The thing is, I'm not sure if I should do it in my native language or English. See, I like English much better because I feel it's a much more powerful language to express oneself then my native language. The question is, is my English good enough to seriously be read? Check the journal in my signature for some examples. The latest posts are the best representation of my style.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

Read more...

Furyguy

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8/10

You write fine, probably better than 50% of the people on this site.



Wait, this is just a ploy to get people to read your journal, isn't it?
 

KarmaSutra

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If you want us to speculate about your writing style you have to give us something fictional to work with.

A journal is not representative of anything in a novelizational format.

I'll show you mine if you show me yours.
 

Aragon034

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Ditto to what Karma said, i'm an aspiring writer myself (plot bunnies attack me constantly) and the best way to get better is to keep writing, have it beta read by someone else to see their reaction, then work on improving.

PM me for more details if you'd like. Writing is a passion of mine :D
 

“The 22 Rules That Turned Me From Invisible to Irresistible With Women… Starting Tonight”

You can skip the expensive cars, the fancy clothes, and the endless gym selfies. Completely unnecessary.

I used to freeze the second a beautiful woman looked my way. Frustrated. Awkward. Watching other guys walk away with the girl while I stood there tongue-tied.

Then I discovered 22 simple rules that rewired my entire dating life. The anxiety vanished. Conversations flowed effortlessly. Women started chasing me for a change.

These rules trigger a woman's subconscious attraction switches. And you can start using them tonight.

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KarmaSutra

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Aragon034 said:
Ditto to what Karma said, i'm an aspiring writer myself (plot bunnies attack me constantly) and the best way to get better is to keep writing, have it beta read by someone else to see their reaction, then work on improving.
I'm left scratching my chin by the paradox of this.

Karma's first rule of writing is to be as grammatically perfect as you can be, especially when you write posts which have no thematic value.

Habit will dictate your perfection, not practice.
 

MisterMcGee

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KarmaSutra said:
I'm left scratching my chin by the paradox of this.

Karma's first rule of writing is to be as grammatically perfect as you can be, especially when you write posts which have no thematic value.

Habit will dictate your perfection, not practice.
honestly it doesn't matter how you write online or when communicating to others (no matter how many times you've heard that, we're talking about a different context here). i hardly ever capitalize. see? but you think i dont capitalize or put apostrophes in "dont" when im writing something?
its not like we're 'typn lik dis'. there's no habit involved, its just slacking on purpose
 

KarmaSutra

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MisterMcGee said:
honestly it doesn't matter how you write online or when communicating to others (no matter how many times you've heard that, we're talking about a different context here). i hardly ever capitalize. see? but you think i dont capitalize or put apostrophes in "dont" when im writing something?
its not like we're 'typn lik dis'. there's no habit involved, its just slacking on purpose
Wrong. Habit is habit. How you treat your own rhetoric on a day to day basis influences EVERY aspect of a writer's craft.

If you shave corners here and there you'll find yourself shaving there and there.

It's a reflection of how much you give a sh!t about your work.
 

MisterMcGee

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Speak for yourself, dont act like a creative writing guru when you aren't. I get that habits are habits, but when I work I take it seriously and write in a more professional tone. I definitely 100% step it up several notches when writing fiction. You should never write 'habitually' when you're working on writing a book, script, play, or what have you.
 

KarmaSutra

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MisterMcGee said:
Speak for yourself, dont act like a creative writing guru when you aren't. I get that habits are habits, but when I work I take it seriously and write in a more professional tone. I definitely 100% step it up several notches when writing fiction. You should never write 'habitually' when you're working on writing a book, script, play, or what have you.
Walk the walk, Jack.

I have a business where I do script consultations, ghost-write copy and edit for Bright House Networks here in Central Florida.

I have experience in creative writing. What the fvck have you done that's worth a sh!t?

That's what I thought. All fvcking mouth.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Darth

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It's true; it all carries over. If you "get" spelling and grammar, then no reason why you can't use it online. Me, I don't even think about it. It's easier to type in complete sentences than to make mistakes.

It really is all about habit.
 

Aragon034

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Lol put the handbag down man.

This isn't a pissing competition Karma, yes you have your script consulting business but that doesn't mean your word is bond when it comes to something creative.

Grammar and spelling can be taught/fixed/use a spell checker... Creativity is a little more complicated than that.

I'll tell you from my own personal experience, when i was in jr high i loved writing, but my writing was utter ****, i wouldn't be caught dead writing such claptrap now. I'd say i'm well above average now.

I still don't think i'm 'professional' level, but i've improved leaps and bounds and even have friends in university writing courses coming to me to have their essays and stories proofread and to give them my opinions on it.

What's the matter with you man? Why so territorial?
 

KarmaSutra

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Aragon034 said:
Lol put the handbag down man.

This isn't a pissing competition Karma, yes you have your script consulting business but that doesn't mean your word is bond when it comes to something creative.

Grammar and spelling can be taught/fixed/use a spell checker... Creativity is a little more complicated than that.

I'll tell you from my own personal experience, when i was in jr high i loved writing, but my writing was utter ****, i wouldn't be caught dead writing such claptrap now. I'd say i'm well above average now.

I still don't think i'm 'professional' level, but i've improved leaps and bounds and even have friends in university writing courses coming to me to have their essays and stories proofread and to give them my opinions on it.

What's the matter with you man? Why so territorial?
There's no excuse for laziness.

Seems you've found a couple.
 

2.0

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i iz da best righter eva u kno its true!!! xx

don 4get u kno i gon be big i don even care enemore
 

2.0

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Oh, and to answer your question, it depends largely on what your native language is, among other things.
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

Read more...

snowdog

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KarmaSutra and MisterMcGee. I didn't want to start a discussion here, and I don't ask or care about what you think about my style. All I want to know is if my grammar is good enough, and the way I build sentences.
 

KarmaSutra

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snowdog said:
KarmaSutra and MisterMcGee. I didn't want to start a discussion here, and I don't ask or care about what you think about my style. All I want to know is if my grammar is good enough, and the way I build sentences.
I'm still waiting for you to ante up with something worth reading.
 

snowdog

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I provided you with the link in my sig buddy, you'll have to do with that. I'm sure you're smart enough to understand I'm not posting anything here that can link me with my personal live in even the slightest bit.
 

The Master Disaster

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Snowdog,

Your writing isn't terrible. It's fairly average. I deal with people as well-written as you are on a daily basis, and that's a huge compliment because the people I work with are college students working on an English major. I'm an editor at my college's newspaper, and I work with writers to realize their faults.

You would be surprised at how may comma splices a soon-to-be college grad with an English major will make.

Most the time they wouldn't be able to give you a thesis statement or define parallelism. They just know how to produce papers, which are serviceable at best.

But back to your writing, the only thing I keep on seeing is comma splices, which are easily fixed. The main thing is that a period means the sentence contains a subject and verb. Commas are trickier and much longer to explain, but first off "Hi." is more "Hi," introductory stuff like "When blah blah, I do this." or "Because I ran, I felt tired." but you don't put a comma if you reverse those like, "I felt tired because I ran."

Don't regard that paragraph as reference. I bypassed a lot grammar issues to show you the correct punctuation of the quotes, but your writing is littered with those, and that's not a really big deal. That shouldn't halt your writing. It will just add more work for the editors that work on your work.

So overall, I would say go with whatever you want. You seem to be able to convey a correct spectrum of emotion in English. If you think you can write with more passion in English, than I would say go for it.

I would just work on your grammar overall. I'm a grammar nut, so I know more rules for grammar than are actually taught. I'm taking a class this semester called "ENGL 4750: Advanced Grammar," and I already know 90-95% of the course. 5% are just crazy rules no one should commit to memory.

Whoever wrote that comment about spellcheck, I don't know if that's the best idea. Spellcheck gets many things wrong. It struggles with plurals, and the way it corrects passive voice will vastly alter the meaning of the sentence.

I agree with MisterMcGee. Habitual writing usually leads to monotonous writing with a vague direction. Most people write much more intrigueing work when they are actually thrilled about what they are writing.

My main recommendation to anyone who wants to fiction write is never talk your ideas out with people. Write it down first! Don't talk yourself out of passion. While your pumped, put the pen to the paper. If you talk with someone, they already start off unimpressed, and it's an uphill battle from there. Write it down, and then talk to people. Those moments where you have too many things in your head to write down are beautiful moments.

Sorry, I seemed to have rambled, but yea you get my seal of approval for writing in English.
 

KarmaSutra

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The Master Disaster said:
Habitual writing usually leads to monotonous writing with a vague direction.
I don't think you understand context. What I refer to as habitual writing is to follow proper grammatical guidelines while fully expressing your ideas. Habitual writing is programming yourself to write everyday. Usually within a specified time in a particular place.

Free, or right-brain, writing is disassociating oneself from the concious and allowing the subconcious to freely flow.

There is quite a difference between a writer who follows specific habits and a writing robot.

Passionate writers are aware of the differences.

Snowdog, I looked at the link in your sig and I was not impressed by any means.

Come back with something you're proud of and I'll take another look.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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