She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Are you kidding? Date rape is when he slips GHB into her drink, and it knocks her out cold, and he screws her then. Your example is NOT date rape.Originally posted by pressure0354
ok so apparently my girlfriend said she was once date-raped. i guess i would like to hear some point of views on this. now i don't know a lot of detail because i figure its a really touchy subject to talk about. so i jsut have the general idea of only the few times shes mentioned it.
from what she tells me, she went on a date with this guy and went back and slept over his apart/house - whatever. maybe drinking a little bit maybe not. im not sure. but i guess when they were laying down she was facing away from him and not really giving him physical signs she was interested. but somehow he ended up having sex with her and her not wanting it.
now i know thats really vague and such. ive even seen her cry once before admiting that shes been raped.
but what really gets me is that she admited to never verbally saying "no". she never told him not to do it. and im pretty sure a girl has to give in phyically at some point to have sex, right? i dont think he phyically forced her (i.e. holding her down as she was struggling) and he didn't drug her. i think what happened was that she just gave in and didn't really want to but felt like she had to.
so im just really confused as to what to think. would you consider that rape? or is it she just is really disappointed in herself for letting herself do that, even though she didnt want to.
id like to talk more about this but don't want to seem an ******* in not taking her side 100%.... what you guys think?
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
One of the reasons you can't trust her when she gives you the number of men she slept with.Originally posted by Faded Image
That's just her having sex with someone who she's embarrased to say she had sex with.
Oh God, the tired old story again. She feels like a hoe as a result of that experience so she justifies it as being rape! Shift in responsibility. As simple as that! A girl that doesn't want things to lead to sex does NOT go to a guy's house, gets drunk and sleeps in the same bed as him. Where is the COMMON SENSE?? I'm VERY skeptical when chicks tell me they've been raped.Originally posted by pressure0354
ok so apparently my girlfriend said she was once date-raped. i guess i would like to hear some point of views on this. now i don't know a lot of detail because i figure its a really touchy subject to talk about. so i jsut have the general idea of only the few times shes mentioned it.
from what she tells me, she went on a date with this guy and went back and slept over his apart/house - whatever. maybe drinking a little bit maybe not. im not sure. but i guess when they were laying down she was facing away from him and not really giving him physical signs she was interested. but somehow he ended up having sex with her and her not wanting it.
now i know thats really vague and such. ive even seen her cry once before admiting that shes been raped.
but what really gets me is that she admited to never verbally saying "no". she never told him not to do it. and im pretty sure a girl has to give in phyically at some point to have sex, right? i dont think he phyically forced her (i.e. holding her down as she was struggling) and he didn't drug her. i think what happened was that she just gave in and didn't really want to but felt like she had to.
so im just really confused as to what to think. would you consider that rape? or is it she just is really disappointed in herself for letting herself do that, even though she didnt want to.
id like to talk more about this but don't want to seem an ******* in not taking her side 100%.... what you guys think?
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.