Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Rant: Getting So Tired Of OLD Lately. WTF.

jamesfromhouston

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Mar 21, 2021
Messages
243
Reaction score
262
Location
Houston
Bros, just a small rant here. I'm seriously getting so sick of OLD lately that I have made upping my Cold Approach game, my resolution this year for dating.

For some reference, I am actually on Tinder, Bumble and CoffeeMeetsBagel.

I've paid for premium on all 3. I've been using all 3 for the past 5 years.

I'm no chad but my profile is pretty good. Good photos. Displays my SMV well I think.

I used to get really good results with them. Met tons of girls.

I still get results with OLD but it's been on a serious and truly clear decline as of late.

- I get substantially less matches than before.
- The matches are significantly uglier than before.
- The matches are super super super entitled. They generally don't start the conversation and when they do, they stop replying after 1 or 2 messages. (Especially on this, it pisses me off. I often encounter a stupid situation where a girl matches me, opens me with a 'Hi'. I reply a 'Hi' back and then she flakes. That's it. End of convo. And I'm thinking why say Hi to me if you weren't going to continue the conversation? Its ret@rded.)
- The matches flake easily if you don't simp for them.

I know we have talked about this before on SS, just ranting here.

It seriously pisses me off, when I spend some time swiping and I get nothing on the matches. And I get flaked by some random 6 or 7 (who thinks she's hot sh!t after literally 1 message exchange).

If I weren't aware of how it was like 5 years ago for me and if I were still blue pilled, joining OLD now, I'd probably feel my self-esteem damaged by the OLD nonsense. I'd probably rationalise it as something is wrong with me.
 
Last edited:

Pierce Manhammer

Moderator
Joined
Jun 2, 2021
Messages
4,648
Reaction score
5,612
Location
PRC
Brother, I tend to agree. But in the case of the “hi” “hi” thing leading to a ghost : you call it low effort on her part but in normative gender relations women expect chase. Replying to hi with hi is definitely low effort. Might I suggest trying to hook with something witty related to their profiles or pics? Or he’ll even a smart assed comment, sometimes outrage garners a reaction.

Anyway yes whatever barely acceptable quality there was is rapidly declining.
 

Atom Smasher

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 22, 2008
Messages
8,734
Reaction score
6,666
Age
66
Location
The 7th Dimension
A simple “Hi” is the equivalent to a real-life smile. It’s an invitation. You should write back something brief that shows CLASS. This usually involves mentioning something about her profile. You can also ask her “How’s the fishing here on XYZ Site?”
Make your interaction fun.
 

DonJuanjr

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 6, 2021
Messages
3,439
Reaction score
2,395
Age
36
A simple “Hi” is the equivalent to a real-life smile. It’s an invitation. You should write back something brief that shows CLASS. This usually involves mentioning something about her profile. You can also ask her “How’s the fishing here on XYZ Site?”
Make your interaction fun.
Or if the girl has a pic of her riding a horse. Something like "hi, Ms. Chickwholikestoridehorses"?
 

jamesfromhouston

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Mar 21, 2021
Messages
243
Reaction score
262
Location
Houston
Hey brothers. Thanks for the input. I tend to reply with not much at the beginning because I don't want to be showering with full attention until it's warranted. I feel like replying something witty or creative; feels a bit desperate.

If they say hi and I start to write a longer comment, feels like a massive imbalance.

I feel if you have high IL for someone. Even if they said hi, you'd continue the conversation.

But that's just my opinion.
 

SW15

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 31, 2020
Messages
12,238
Reaction score
10,499
I still get results with OLD but it's been on a serious and truly clear decline as of late.

- I get substantially less matches than before.
- The matches are significantly uglier than before.
- The matches are super super super entitled. They generally don't start the conversation and when they do, they stop replying after 1 or 2 messages. (Especially on this, it pisses me off. I often encounter a stupid situation where a girl matches me, opens me with a 'Hi'. I reply a 'Hi' back and then she flakes. That's it. End of convo. And I'm thinking why say Hi to me if you weren't going to continue the conversation? Its ret@rded.)
- The matches flake easily if you don't simp for them.
These are all common experiences on the swipe apps now.


The newest generation is using Schmooze, Snack, and Iris instead of Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, and Coffee Meets Bagel.

Tinder is 76% male. Huge sausage fest. Bumble and Hinge are 65% male.

Most men are reporting fewer matches now than 3-5 years ago on Bumble and Hinge, even with Premium. It's been difficult to get matches on Tinder for at least 5 years, even with Premium.

Uglier matches are also common.

Flaking has always been a problem with apps but I sense it is getting worse.

Delete all apps and focus on in-person stuff.
 

Barrister

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 28, 2018
Messages
2,476
Reaction score
4,208
Age
37
Hey brothers. Thanks for the input. I tend to reply with not much at the beginning because I don't want to be showering with full attention until it's warranted. I feel like replying something witty or creative; feels a bit desperate.

If they say hi and I start to write a longer comment, feels like a massive imbalance.

I feel if you have high IL for someone. Even if they said hi, you'd continue the conversation.

But that's just my opinion.
The problem is they don't have "high interest" in you just because they send you a message first - let alone one that just says "hi" or "hey." For women, OLD is a completely different ball game than men. Even HB 6-7s will have endless matches and DMs from men -- many times above their own SMV. You are just one of probably 20-30 she finds moderately interesting. This is why you can use OLD, but you will pull younger and hotter with cold approach. OLD also demands that you over-pursue almost out of the gate - which is what you are experiencing. They are getting flooded with validation and attention in the OLD setting and it leaves little room to do otherwise.
 

SW15

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 31, 2020
Messages
12,238
Reaction score
10,499
For women, OLD is a completely different ball game than men. Even HB 6-7s will have endless matches and DMs from men -- many times above their own SMV.
An HB 6-7 today on a swipe app gets far more male attention than a 21 year old supermodel in 1990 would have experienced or could have even imagined at that time.

You are just one of probably 20-30 she finds moderately interesting. This is why you can use OLD, but you will pull younger and hotter with cold approach. OLD also demands that you over-pursue almost out of the gate - which is what you are experiencing. They are getting flooded with validation and attention in the OLD setting and it leaves little room to do otherwise.
Yes, this is true. Focus on the cold approaching. Every Beta Bob and his brother is swiping and texting right now. Fewer men are cold approaching so you stand out when you approach in person, even more so when you do it in a non-bar setting. Approaching is difficult, which is why dating websites and swipe apps were invented in the first place. Keep approaching though and try not to let the rejections be a traumatic experience.
 

Dr.Suave

Moderator
Joined
Mar 6, 2017
Messages
3,621
Reaction score
4,003
This worked for me with the matches recently:

Text One: "Hey girl. How´s ur weekend going?" When matching during weekend. If matching Monday/Tuesday it was "Hey girl. How was your weekend?". If matching Wednesday/Thursday "Hey girl. Any cool plans for the upcoming weekend?"
Her: Bla bla bla

Next text: "Cool. What do you enjoy doing with your free time?"
Her: bla bla bla

If we have suff in common:

"Looks like we have a lot in common. Im craving my favorite sushi place, wanna meet 5:30ish pm next saturday?" Maybe Im implying that since we have stuff in common I wanna get to know her better.

If we dont have that much in common:

"I live in X city by Y mall. Anything interesting near your house?"
Her: Bla bla bla
"My favorite Burger place is very close to your house. Wanna meet Next saturday evening and grab a bite?"


If there was a new movie I actually wanted to see.
"I wanna watch the new Marvel movie. Lets go on day 1 to avoid spoilers. My favorite movie place has a show at 6pm"

Also, I always triple booked. If none cancels, go out with the hottest one and bail on the other girls.

Fun fact: When I single booked, the girl would flake more than half the time. When i tripled book, none would cancel.
 

Barrister

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 28, 2018
Messages
2,476
Reaction score
4,208
Age
37
An HB 6-7 today on a swipe app gets far more male attention than a 21 year old supermodel in 1990 would have experienced or could have even imagined at that time.



Yes, this is true. Focus on the cold approaching. Every Beta Bob and his brother is swiping and texting right now. Fewer men are cold approaching so you stand out when you approach in person, even more so when you do it in a non-bar setting. Approaching is difficult, which is why dating websites and swipe apps were invented in the first place. Keep approaching though and try not to let the rejections be a traumatic experience.
I have a female "friend" if you want to call her that who showed me her Bumble account last year. She is a moderately attractive girl (probably HB 6.5), and I was blown away looking at her Bumble account. Literally about 75 current matches that had superficial conversations going. It changed my whole perspective about it.
 

Pierce Manhammer

Moderator
Joined
Jun 2, 2021
Messages
4,648
Reaction score
5,612
Location
PRC
Well your success rate is commensurate with your level of effort, as with most things in life.

Hey brothers. Thanks for the input. I tend to reply with not much at the beginning because I don't want to be showering with full attention until it's warranted. I feel like replying something witty or creative; feels a bit desperate.

If they say hi and I start to write a longer comment, feels like a massive imbalance.

I feel if you have high IL for someone. Even if they said hi, you'd continue the conversation.

But that's just my opinion.
 

Young OG

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 6, 2015
Messages
1,250
Reaction score
1,059
Location
USA
Bros, just a small rant here. I'm seriously getting so sick of OLD lately that I have made upping my Cold Approach game, my resolution this year for dating.

For some reference, I am actually on Tinder, Bumble and CoffeeMeetsBagel.

I've paid for premium on all 3. I've been using all 3 for the past 5 years.

I'm no chad but my profile is pretty good. Good photos. Displays my SMV well I think.

I used to get really good results with them. Met tons of girls.

I still get results with OLD but it's been on a serious and truly clear decline as of late.

- I get substantially less matches than before.
- The matches are significantly uglier than before.
- The matches are super super super entitled. They generally don't start the conversation and when they do, they stop replying after 1 or 2 messages. (Especially on this, it pisses me off. I often encounter a stupid situation where a girl matches me, opens me with a 'Hi'. I reply a 'Hi' back and then she flakes. That's it. End of convo. And I'm thinking why say Hi to me if you weren't going to continue the conversation? Its ret@rded.)
- The matches flake easily if you don't simp for them.

I know we have talked about this before on SS, just ranting here.

It seriously pisses me off, when I spend some time swiping and I get nothing on the matches. And I get flaked by some random 6 or 7 (who thinks she's hot sh!t after literally 1 message exchange).

If I weren't aware of how it was like 5 years ago for me and if I were still blue pilled, joining OLD now, I'd probably feel my self-esteem damaged by the OLD nonsense. I'd probably rationalise it as something is wrong with me.
Try out FB Dating and Hinge. Stop paying for premium subscriptions. It's a waste of money and for desperate men. Also, your pics might not be as good as you think they are. You may want to revaluate your profile. Women most likely do not think your very high value if they stop replying. Do you think they would stop replying to Channing Tatum?
 

RickTheToad

Moderator
Joined
Apr 21, 2018
Messages
6,479
Reaction score
5,040
Location
Bridgeport, CT
IRL and meetups are always good options. I cleaned up @ both, but I was doing decent on OLD a few years ago too; and I'm just a toad. Check your photos with https://www.photofeeler.com/ and you can get people to judge and rate them. Then you know somewhat where you stand.
 
Top