"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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RAFC in need of some advice

Hit

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This is my first time posting here. To start off - I stumbled upon the Don Juan bootcamp pdf some time ago, and have since read the whole thing. Not being one to believe the whole "lay guide" bs, I was surprised to find a lot of information which clearly identified several key problems I was having, and armed me the correct mindset to fix them.

At this point in the game, I feel as if i've mastered or at least commonly practice/possess numerous key DJ mindsets. I know that I should be number one, the "prince" as Pook put it whereas women should be working to have a shot at me. I've got the "****y & funny" mentality down. Eye contact and Kino are both things which i've been practicing a lot with, and have since made much progress in. I'm typically Alpha-maleish around my group of friends, as well as in general. Confidence, while being an issue to be constantly confronted for me - is not an issue in practice... I'm one whos willing to say just about anything to a girl, and walking up to a girl at a bar or a club.. although I feel that much improvement is still needed there. Rejection is not something which I am scared off, and I feel as if i possess the correct mindset with dealing with it - taking it as a learning experience..

Enough with the preface though - I do possess several key problems with which I am still batteling. Establishing the initial attraction when I first meet a chick has been something i've been improving - but maintaining it past several weeks remains to be a huge problem.

Case in point - There is this girl who I met a month or two ago, seen her once.. I came off with a good first impression, she seemed like a pretty chill girl with a very attractive attitude (amongst other things, obviously.) I next seen her a few weeks later... ran into her when I was with around friends.. she tagged along with us, went out to a few places. Her attraction to me seemed to be through the roof, I played it cool.. not giving her too much attention, but still responding to that which she was providing me. It was literally at the point where we were sitting in a resteraunt/lounge, and she makes a toast with me to "having good sex".. I was ready to bend her over the table right then and there and rail her.. but as circumstances turned out, that didn't happen... I ended up having to drop her off (as always seems to happen with me). I see her a few more times afterwords, attraction is still high but it seems as if there aren't any fitting opportunities or openings for me to do anything with her.

Again, I played it smooth, didn't call her too much/often... she typically called me.. She invited me over to a club/lounge... To make that story short, she dumped some guys she was sitting with as soon as I walked into the place, we danced/grinded a bit.. things were heated... attraction again was high.
We ended that night with meeting up with some friends after the club, and I dropped her off again, with nothing really happening between the both of us.

Again - afterwards, I played it cool and didn't push for too much (waited for her to call me, etc.) We were supposed to meet up on several occasions the following week, but that didn't work out due to a few reasons. Now, last night.. we decide to go to a strip club, so her, myself, and a few of my buddies (who she knows) go.. And again - nothing really happens between the both of us, even though I made attempts at kino, etc... I just didn't feel like I was presented with an opportunity to do anything with her. After the club, we were supposed to go out to eat at a dinner, but my other friends got tired - I went to drop them off, and as soon as I droped off the last guy she tells me that shes tired aswell, and wants to go home.. .even though she stated 15 minutes prior that she wanted to go to the diner..

Now, pardon me if I come across as sounding like a whiny ***** or what not - It is 6am in the morning and I'm not exactly at my sharpest at the moment..

But.. I just don't see it.. What the **** am I doing wrong? (well, my personal belief is that I'm not making strong enough moves which is resulting of her putting me on her freinds ladder) What do I need to alter or ammend to regain this girls interest, and keep me from getting dumped onto her friends ladder at this seemingly critical stage..?

:confused:
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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SurfsupinHawaii

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dude, for one; stop letting her chill with you and your boys.. I would save that until shes been your girl for a while.

playing it cool is good but sometimes you gotta just go for it if you and her are both feeling the vibe.. you'll know it when you feel it. til then, keep up the good work
 

ApocalypseCow2

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After the club, we were supposed to go out to eat at a dinner, but my other friends got tired - I went to drop them off, and as soon as I droped off the last guy she tells me that shes tired aswell, and wants to go home.. .even though she stated 15 minutes prior that she wanted to go to the diner..
[/B]


Dude, if it's just you and her in the car and you're dropping her off, why don't you go into her apartment/house with her? It sounds like you've had tons of opportunities to do this. When you're getting close to her house, say something like, "I'm tired, but OK, I'll come in for coffee" in a C&F way.
 

Hit

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Originally posted by SurfsupinHawaii
dude, for one; stop letting her chill with you and your boys.. I would save that until shes been your girl for a while.

playing it cool is good but sometimes you gotta just go for it if you and her are both feeling the vibe.. you'll know it when you feel it. til then, keep up the good work
I think this was exactly the response I was hoping for.. thanks for the advice.

Apocalypse... she lives with her mom still.. and taking her to my house was not an option either at that point... so.. yeah. But you are probably right in the sense that i've had several opportunities with her which I could have but did not utilize.. that's also something i'm working on improving.
 

Hit

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Okay well... now the issue is this: I may have been too slow in making a move on her, and I may be close to getting on her "friends ladder." This is something which I do NOT want to do happen.

Is there any hope for me? What route should I go about in correcting what could have been my previous errors?
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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TheRelic

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PIITB.











Eugh... ive been scouring the bb.com forums for too long.
 
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