"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

Read more...

Quotes that women say that make your eyes raise

Sonny Knight

Don Juan
Joined
Dec 18, 2012
Messages
93
Reaction score
17
girl "I cheated because he abandoned me."

me "B itch he went to work."


To be honest..." -or- "To tell you the truth..."

-- MEANING: You've likely been lying about something before this


"He's just a friend"

-- MEANING: You don't want to f uck him now, but he is d ick in a glass in case I piss u off enough later


"You're so smart"

-- MEANING: You're used to f ucking with dumb ass niggas


"I'm celibate"

-- MEANING: You're such a f ucking slut that you have to try to force yourself not to take random d ick, and will gladly take mine too if I ignore your weak defense statement of celibacy


"I've never been in love before"

-- MEANING: You have 137lbs of baggage and are emotionally unavailable


"Men are intimidated by me"

-- MEANING: You're a raging b itch who thinks she has actual testicles that real men "f uck and dump" on the regular


"There are no good men" -OR- "All the good men are taken"

-- MEANING: You wouldn't know a good man if he busted on your face and bought u a ring
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

Read more...

The Duke

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 4, 2008
Messages
6,576
Reaction score
11,624
When being called out for lying about their age on their dating profile and they say, "I know that stupid thing......I accidentally made a typo and when I noticed it they wouldn't let me change it back." lolololoolllloooll yeah!
 

XY.

Don Juan
Joined
Sep 22, 2013
Messages
83
Reaction score
3
Location
USA
I've never cheated before. When asked what cheating is, she replied "vaginal sex"
 

Sonny Knight

Don Juan
Joined
Dec 18, 2012
Messages
93
Reaction score
17
you know I'm on the pill right

I need a man that can HANDLE me


A b itch could eat my p ussy but that dont mean i am a d yke or a bi-sexual
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

Read more...

Sonny Knight

Don Juan
Joined
Dec 18, 2012
Messages
93
Reaction score
17
Them - "I'm single"
Me- "How many kids you got?"
Them - "Three"
Me - "How is that single, b*tch, it's four of yall!"
 

Billtx49

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 23, 2013
Messages
5,983
Reaction score
5,404
Location
DFW
"You need to like me for the person that I am" - I do not have the ability to give you the depth of emotional intimacy needed for a healthy relationship.
 

byronicmate

New Member
Joined
Sep 23, 2013
Messages
9
Reaction score
0
Me: "And that's when he said "Anal beads!""(a comedian at a comedy show I went to yelled this. he told dirty jokes all night and I shared a few)

Her: "...and that's when you thought of me (smile)"

Me: "no."

Her: "..oh, cause that would have been like...a backhanded compliment"

huh?
 

hockeyfreak79

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 15, 2013
Messages
1,038
Reaction score
337
Quotes that women say that make your eyes raise

Her: I want you to cvm in my mouth or stick it in my ass.

Only these things make my eye brows raise really, any other BS that comes out of their mouth really doesn't surprise me.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

Read more...

GS750

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 28, 2013
Messages
1,561
Reaction score
187
One girl recently said to me "because I'm a girl and I get what I want". I dont remember the context of the conversation, but it definitely raised an eyebrow. BTW she was a 34 yr old single mother ie entitlement princess
 
Last edited:

nismo-4

Moderator
Joined
Jan 31, 2005
Messages
4,438
Reaction score
1,142
Location
From New Orleans, Louisiana to Atlanta, Georgia!!!
I don't know whether to merge this into bradd80's official translator or my Universal Female Excuse Archive!
 

henrea4

Don Juan
Joined
Jun 30, 2013
Messages
110
Reaction score
0
PairPlusRoyalFlush said:
"You were the first guy to make me orgasm."- Im a pathological liar
Oh man....I got this one from my ex wife before we got married. She didn't say I was the first to make her orgasm, but the first she had an orgasm with during intercourse.
 

SamTheHobit

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 10, 2011
Messages
1,514
Reaction score
95
Location
South Africa
Bible_Belt said:
"I know my daddy loves me, because he buys me stuff."
Hahaha this cracked me up xD
 

VikingKing

Banned
Joined
May 17, 2013
Messages
2,148
Reaction score
89
Location
America is best
"can you pee in my pvssy." - im a freak.

During sex
her: "hit me in the face, harder, harder, harder."
Me: "I just want to have sex with you, not beat your ass."
Her: "I guess you can't handle me."
Me:"yeah, I think I'm going to go." as i start to leave the van
Her:"no, no, please don't go." - I was abused and neglected by my mom when I was younger because she was a hooker. I got felt up by this neighbor guy.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

Billtx49

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 23, 2013
Messages
5,983
Reaction score
5,404
Location
DFW
"All I ever wanted from you was unconditional love" - I am branch swinging on you, so it's your fault by not giving me something that does not exist.
 

Hyper2010

Don Juan
Joined
Jun 17, 2010
Messages
177
Reaction score
3
Girl I'm seeing; "I bet I could well easy get you around my thumb if I wanted"

Me "What do you mean?"

Her "As in say I asked you for a new dress I wanted, I bet I could get you to buy it for me by holding off sex"

Me "You are neither attractive or intelligent enough to pull that sort of BS with me"
 
Top