Quotes that women say that make your eyes raise

[Sonny Knight]

girl "I cheated because he abandoned me."

me "B itch he went to work."


To be honest..." -or- "To tell you the truth..."

-- MEANING: You've likely been lying about something before this


"He's just a friend"

-- MEANING: You don't want to f uck him now, but he is d ick in a glass in case I piss u off enough later


"You're so smart"

-- MEANING: You're used to f ucking with dumb ass niggas


"I'm celibate"

-- MEANING: You're such a f ucking slut that you have to try to force yourself not to take random d ick, and will gladly take mine too if I ignore your weak defense statement of celibacy


"I've never been in love before"

-- MEANING: You have 137lbs of baggage and are emotionally unavailable


"Men are intimidated by me"

-- MEANING: You're a raging b itch who thinks she has actual testicles that real men "f uck and dump" on the regular


"There are no good men" -OR- "All the good men are taken"

-- MEANING: You wouldn't know a good man if he busted on your face and bought u a ring

 

[The Duke]

When being called out for lying about their age on their dating profile and they say, "I know that stupid thing......I accidentally made a typo and when I noticed it they wouldn't let me change it back." lolololoolllloooll yeah!

 

[XY.]

I've never cheated before. When asked what cheating is, she replied "vaginal sex"

 

[Uncharted]

"I still talk to my ex" = "We still fvck"

 

[Sonny Knight]

you know I'm on the pill right

I need a man that can HANDLE me


A b itch could eat my p ussy but that dont mean i am a d yke or a bi-sexual

 

[Sonny Knight]

Them - "I'm single"
Me- "How many kids you got?"
Them - "Three"
Me - "How is that single, b*tch, it's four of yall!"

 

[Billtx49]

"You need to like me for the person that I am" - I do not have the ability to give you the depth of emotional intimacy needed for a healthy relationship.

 

[byronicmate]

Me: "And that's when he said "Anal beads!""(a comedian at a comedy show I went to yelled this. he told dirty jokes all night and I shared a few)

Her: "...and that's when you thought of me (smile)"

Me: "no."

Her: "..oh, cause that would have been like...a backhanded compliment"

huh?

 

[hockeyfreak79]

Quotes that women say that make your eyes raise

Her: I want you to cvm in my mouth or stick it in my ass.

Only these things make my eye brows raise really, any other BS that comes out of their mouth really doesn't surprise me.

 

[Bible_Belt]

"I know my daddy loves me, because he buys me stuff."

 

[GS750]

One girl recently said to me "because I'm a girl and I get what I want". I dont remember the context of the conversation, but it definitely raised an eyebrow. BTW she was a 34 yr old single mother ie entitlement princess

 

[nismo-4]

I don't know whether to merge this into bradd80's official translator or my Universal Female Excuse Archive!

 

[henrea4]

"You were the first guy to make me orgasm."- Im a pathological liar

Oh man....I got this one from my ex wife before we got married. She didn't say I was the first to make her orgasm, but the first she had an orgasm with during intercourse.

 

[SamTheHobit]

"I know my daddy loves me, because he buys me stuff."

Hahaha this cracked me up xD

 

[VikingKing]

"can you pee in my pvssy." - im a freak.

During sex
her: "hit me in the face, harder, harder, harder."
Me: "I just want to have sex with you, not beat your ass."
Her: "I guess you can't handle me."
Me:"yeah, I think I'm going to go." as i start to leave the van
Her:"no, no, please don't go." - I was abused and neglected by my mom when I was younger because she was a hooker. I got felt up by this neighbor guy.

 

[Billtx49]

"All I ever wanted from you was unconditional love" - I am branch swinging on you, so it's your fault by not giving me something that does not exist.

 

[Hyper2010]

Girl I'm seeing; "I bet I could well easy get you around my thumb if I wanted"

Me "What do you mean?"

Her "As in say I asked you for a new dress I wanted, I bet I could get you to buy it for me by holding off sex"

Me "You are neither attractive or intelligent enough to pull that sort of BS with me"