donjuanjovi
Senior Don Juan
Are you going to keep us in the loop? Possibly with an online journal?
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
okay, if the fat dude has a double chin or something you can tell but if you have never met them and the only bare skin you can see are hands and face, then for me it's damn difficult to tell the difference...onyx said:thats bull**** you can tell the difference between a fat guy with clothes on and a muscular guy with clothes on...theres a huge difference
Dude. What? You're blaming it on the program when you admit you didn't eat properly? I mean that's all i can assume if you're saying "i'm finally eating..." and "time to bulk" (implies you weren't trying to before).Quiksilver said:Alright...
I'm done going to the gym 3x a week and not seeing any substantial gains from it.
Time to bulk.
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
What do you mean by "dead calories to fill physique"?Originally posted by Espi
Those are all great foods, but be sure to hit Mcd's a few times each week; don't eat too cleanly. You need some occasional dead calories to fill your physique.
How about some supps? Creatine? Multi? Fish/flax oil? C? Whey?
DEFINITELY purchase a quality whey and/or casein protein supplement. I recommend Prolab's N-Large. Cheap and effective. Add whole milk and ice cream to your protein shake, and you've got 1,000 instant calories.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
and this is why many people hold back their gains.. if fat gain is an issue I'd keep it to one cheat meal a week and incorporate high(er) carb days instead.EFFORT said:Yeah there would def be some fat gain which would probably keep you and most people from doing it
It is totally unjustified since it netted you no gains. Looking through your workouts from your log you were gaining strength just fine, you simply weren't eating enough to support muscle growth.Quiksilver said:The thing is, my body puts on fat easier than most people, so the diet I've been using for the last while hasn't been totally unjustified.
Warboss Alex said:and this is why many people hold back their gains.. if fat gain is an issue I'd keep it to one cheat meal a week and incorporate high(er) carb days instead.
not that I'm one to talk, I just 3 of those B+J's 'Wiches.
Personally I think most people should intelligently 'bulk' up to 200lbs or thereabouts (depending on height higher or lower bodyweights) and accept a little fat gain simply to get their strength and size base down quickly. Then they can mess around with recompositions to strip away the fat and still gain.. although it will depend on the individual and their goals. I assume everyone wants to look like a small tank more or less (without being freaky big).EFFORT said:LOL i just had a triple burger from Wendy's shhh don't tell IA.
I hope i'm not misleading anyone here reading with this fast food thing. (I think alex's post cleared it up if there was) So many people worry about fat and to me fat gain is such a small concern because losing fat is easier than adding mass generally since mass gain =massive eating (which is not easy), fat loss just lowering carb numbers and hitting cardio.
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
Even if you are primarily slow twitch, which you very likely aren't, you still have plenty of fast twitch fibres ready and willing to grow so zero growth and blaming it on a rep range is silly especially at the level you are.Quiksilver said:The program was fine, but my muscles don't seem to respond to low reps(5-8).
I'm most definitely fast twitch. All the sports I excell at are fast-twitch, and my 40 time is remarkable for my size and leg length, although not ridiculous, still shouts to me that my muscles do have fast-twitch tendencies.Even if you are primarily slow twitch, which you very likely aren't, you still have plenty of fast twitch fibres ready and willing to grow so zero growth and blaming it on a rep range is silly especially at the level you are.
If you had drastic strength gains you should have had drastic muscle gains, you simply didn't eat! The routine worked fine for you. You simply were 160lbs, wanted to be 180, and instead of eating like you were 190 to get to 180, you ate like you were 140. Your numbers are not bad at all, you should have seen significant muscular gains. But some people don't fathom just how much food you have to eat to gain - now you know!Quiksilver said:Didn't know you asked a question... In that case, yes, I did gain strength. Main lifts went up. Heck, all lifts improved drastically, the only exercises I've almost maxed on are freakin leg extensions and calf raises.
You can't expect to have much carry-over if you gained no muscle. DB work is awesome for BB carry-over in most cases.I just switched to BB bench because--apparently--getting your db bench numbers up means fvckall as far as bb numbers go. I thought I'd be able to jump into BB at 170-185 range, but no, DB bench was effing useless for that. Perhaps put a little meat on triceps and upper chest but wasn't worth it.
Gaining 5% bodyfat is outright dumb. That's getting fat for the hell of it. A couple of notches maybe but that's not a bulking up diet, that's a fattening up diet. Mark my words, you gain 5% bodyfat along with your muscle and you will hate yourself. Seriously, do you know what that means to increase your bodyfat percentage by that much? That means gaining more fat than muscle. It will be a huge NEGATIVE visual difference. You say you're not interested in aesthetics but your previous posts on this site say you are.. I advise you to not throw caution to the wind in this way. Of course it's your choice, and you will get your best muscle gains by also putting on substantial fat, but you can get close to optimal muscle gains by gaining a minimum of fat. But, it's your choice.I have no problem cutting, its just that I don't like wasting time. The notion that I spent 5-6 months hitting the gym religiously 3x a week, and doing a minor recomp + minimal muscle gains, is just terrible. It's at the point where I don't care about aesthetics at all. The rest of the site has helped my personality develop, so an extra ~5% bf shouldnt affect anything.
That's good to hear. I was bracing my mind for substantial fat gain.Gaining 5% bodyfat is outright dumb. That's getting fat for the hell of it. A couple of notches maybe but that's not a bulking up diet, that's a fattening up diet. Mark my words, you gain 5% bodyfat along with your muscle and you will hate yourself. Seriously, do you know what that means to increase your bodyfat percentage by that much? That means gaining more fat than muscle. It will be a huge NEGATIVE visual difference. You say you're not interested in aesthetics but your previous posts on this site say you are.. I advise you to not throw caution to the wind in this way. Of course it's your choice, and you will get your best muscle gains by also putting on substantial fat, but you can get close to optimal muscle gains by gaining a minimum of fat. But, it's your choice.
You will make your best and fastest muscle/weight/strength gains by gaining fat as well.. just remember it will have to come off sometime. You can make damn good gains without gaining much, if any, fat (but this will be slower). Again, it's your choice.. I would focus on slower muscle gain but that's just me.Quiksilver said:That's good to hear. I was bracing my mind for substantial fat gain.![]()
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.