Quick tip for building confidence

[Dirtheart]

Keep this in mind:

You are not a part of anybody's life, events or your surroundings. They are part of YOUR existence. How and if you choose to interract with them is upto you.

The most important thing in your life is you. If something troubles you, don't try to change the problem, change your perception of it. As long as you can control your mind, nothing can faze you.

 

[gav]

cheers for reminding me dirtheart

but

i'm still caught in the middle of trying to please others instead of myself, although now it's only the alphas i try to please. i don't know why but i feel i need their fvcking approval even though i know it is sooo wrong; kills me. i mean my opinion about myself and my actions should be the only thing that matters, right?- Not theirs.

Well, i can't strengthen my opinions enough about myself for some reason and feel like i am who others tell me i am.


can anyone explain this also?- i've heard a lot of people on this forum saying on the one hand "focus on yourself and watch every step you take gain more importance" while they also say but "don't think the world revolves around you. it doesn't. u are nothing and nobody cares what you do."

what's the deal with this contradiction?

cheers

 

[Dirtheart]

The world doesn't revolve around you, but your life does.

I had the exact same problem of trying to please others and judging myself through their eyes and, relied on compliments to determine if I felt good about myself and insults would cripple me.

Learn from your personal experiences, pay attention to advice or criticism, keep an open mind, but never lose sight of who you are and who you want to be.

An old friend of mine always used to say "If people don't like the way I am, they can get out of my way." He's not rich, successful or a super stud, but he's such a genuinely nice person, everybody loves his company, he is now happily married and, above all, he has always been the most contented person I've ever known.

He measured his success by what made him happy and I think that's the best way to live. Don't let society or others dictate your life.

 

[gav]

Originally posted by Dirtheart
"If people don't like the way I am, they can get out of my way."

i can't believe after all the stuff on here recently, i missed out the importance of that

cheers man

 

[niteguy2003]

Right on Dirtheart!!! Through out my life I always wondered what other people thought of me. It lowered my confidence and I had no self worth because I always thought that people were judging me and what not. Then I realized you know what.... I am me and that is who I am, if nobody likes me and they judge me when they don't even get to know me.... Then I say Fvck em!!!

-Jeremy

 

[Dirtheart]

<double post>

 

[Dirtheart]

Exactly the way to go!

I got to a stage where I'd worry so much about what others thought I couldn't even take a compliment without analysing its sincerity. If someone told me I'm good looking, witty etc, I'd start thinking it was because they were being kind and were trying to lift my spirits.

I know better now. If a woman compliments me, it means she wants me.

But seriously, I know I'm a good person, I know I have a lot going for me, and who can I trust more than myself?

 

[Crank_It_Up]

it's only natural to want others to like you, and learning how to make friends is a good skill to have. However, the most important person you need to impress is yourself. Do you like yourself? If not, then change whatever it is that you don't like about yourself.

 

[Spike_the_cowboy]

Be suave and prosper~

The force is strong with you, Dirtheart.