Because I don't have time to write full length posts on most of the topics that come to mind, I'd just like to say this:
In conversation, if you have a thought, usually it's ok to say it. Much of the time, when we meet new people, we restrain what we say because we don't know how they will react. The bad thing is, the subconscious is overly protective. If you think something like "that's a cool looking car," and the conversation is dying, by all means, SAY IT! I bet when you talk with your friends you are extremely lax when deciding which thoughts you express with words and which you just hide.
Whether you're talking with a stranger or close friend, throughout the conversation you're going to be thinking about things. If you only allow yourself to think about things like "I wonder what she thinks of my shoes," your conversation will reflect it because you won't have much to say (you won't say things like that out loud, will you?). Usually when we say things, it comes from the thought we have in reaction to something.
Example: Someone pulls out a wallet with an absurd amount of money in it. Your brain goes "that's a lot of money!" so consequently, if you're comfortable, you will express that thought in words. If you aren't comfortable, the time you used thinking that thought was wasted and the conversation was empty.
So the two things to keep in mind are
1) Stop thinking about things you don't want the other person (or girl if thats your intention) to know anyway.
2) Don't hold back saying what you think might be taken negatively.
If it's something that will obviously be offensive, or ridiculed, or just plain akward, don't say it. But don't be too quick to judge what is ok and what's not. Often, it's better to say a *possibly* negative thought than to leave the conversation empty.
I hope you could make sense of that. I'm tired. Goodbye.
In conversation, if you have a thought, usually it's ok to say it. Much of the time, when we meet new people, we restrain what we say because we don't know how they will react. The bad thing is, the subconscious is overly protective. If you think something like "that's a cool looking car," and the conversation is dying, by all means, SAY IT! I bet when you talk with your friends you are extremely lax when deciding which thoughts you express with words and which you just hide.
Whether you're talking with a stranger or close friend, throughout the conversation you're going to be thinking about things. If you only allow yourself to think about things like "I wonder what she thinks of my shoes," your conversation will reflect it because you won't have much to say (you won't say things like that out loud, will you?). Usually when we say things, it comes from the thought we have in reaction to something.
Example: Someone pulls out a wallet with an absurd amount of money in it. Your brain goes "that's a lot of money!" so consequently, if you're comfortable, you will express that thought in words. If you aren't comfortable, the time you used thinking that thought was wasted and the conversation was empty.
So the two things to keep in mind are
1) Stop thinking about things you don't want the other person (or girl if thats your intention) to know anyway.
2) Don't hold back saying what you think might be taken negatively.
If it's something that will obviously be offensive, or ridiculed, or just plain akward, don't say it. But don't be too quick to judge what is ok and what's not. Often, it's better to say a *possibly* negative thought than to leave the conversation empty.
I hope you could make sense of that. I'm tired. Goodbye.
