"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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quick response threads

penkitten

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i wanted to REMIND all of you that this site was built for you to improve yourselves and your relationships.
quick responses and fixes are never going to truly solve all your problems.
you must be willing to LOOK deeper inside yourselves, to LEARN about who you are, what you want out of your life and what you seek in a relationship.
you must be willing to SEEK out these things or no advise will truly help you.
you must be willing to DO the things that are needed to improve yourself and your own self esteem.

everyone matures on their own time, and wisdom of a lifetime takes a lifetime to earn.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Bonez

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Experience rocks!

So does experimenting, and eating too!
 

KontrollerX

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All true.

People here should at least read the book of Pook if nothing else in the DJ Bible, internalize all that good stuff and then combine that with their gut instinct and they will know what to do in just about every relationship situation themselves without having to ask the board.
 

penkitten

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Bonez said:
Experience rocks!

So does experimenting, and eating too!
experience does rock, and it is the only way that i ever learned anything.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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penkitten said:
i wanted to REMIND all of you that this site was built for you to improve yourselves and your relationships.
quick responses and fixes are never going to truly solve all your problems.
you must be willing to LOOK deeper inside yourselves, to LEARN about who you are, what you want out of your life and what you seek in a relationship.
you must be willing to SEEK out these things or no advise will truly help you.
you must be willing to DO the things that are needed to improve yourself and your own self esteem.

everyone matures on their own time, and wisdom of a lifetime takes a lifetime to earn.
Such wisdom, and from a woman???!!! How can that be!!!??? :confused:

Oh... It's PK...

Typical...

;)
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Giovanni Casanova

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I'm so old that I remember when cell phones were the size, shape, and weight of a big red brick. Now they've all got cameras and music players and QWERTY keyboards and f*cking Internet Explorer.

/grampa :cuss: :cuss:

So here's how that has changed life here. Five years ago, a guy from this site went out and thought to himself, "There's a girl I like. I think I will ask her out. Okay, remember the DJ Bible. Should I just be myself? NO! Myself is a douche bag. I need to be funny, smart, and interesting instead. She's walking over this way! Oh sh*t! Okay, calm down. Remember the DJ advice: don't call her within three days of getting her number. Wait, that doesn't help me at all! Dammit, she's almost here! [pisses self] Oh, man, if only I knew... WWGCD? (What Would Giovanni Casanova Do?)"

But in today's modern age, that scenario would go something like this:

"There's a girl I like. I am not sure if I should ask her out. I will use my Palm Treo to navigate to sosuave.net and post a poll. 'QUICK RESPONSE: Should I ask out a girl?' Okay... let's see. Looks like 'YES' wins, 6 to 3. Okay. Now, I'll just use these tiny little buttons to type 'What should I say to her? Response needed quickly! Please help!' All right, Giovanni Casanova says to approach her and say, 'Yarrr! Today be Talk Like a Pirate Day, and I be bettin' yer wantin' to walk me plank.' Oh, that's gold. Okay. [Five minutes later] All right, just click on Health and Fitness. New Thread. 'QUICK REPLIES! Girl punched me in face, how to stop bleeding eye socket?'"
 

KarmaSutra

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Penkittens advice is as rare as Kobe steak, and just as valuable and tasty :cheer: .

Seriously, if you guys can put aside your pride you'll be able to see what significance her words entail.

My interpretation of her wisdom is what all of the greats speak of:

Empower yourselves.

Don't sit on the sideline and expect to be thrown a hail mary. You won't get the glory or courage from watching the other guys do it.
 

Bonez

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Giovanni Casanova said:
But in today's modern age, that scenario would go something like this:

"There's a girl I like. I am not sure if I should ask her out. I will use my Palm Treo to navigate to sosuave.net and post a poll. 'QUICK RESPONSE: Should I ask out a girl?' Okay... let's see. Looks like 'YES' wins, 6 to 3. Okay. Now, I'll just use these tiny little buttons to type 'What should I say to her? Response needed quickly! Please help!'
lol:crackup:

We still get threads like that. I wonder who responds to those? I don't even bother opening them.
 

penkitten

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Bonez said:
lol:crackup:

We still get threads like that.
i know, thats why i wrote this one.
there is so much more to offer around here than fast response quick fix threads where no one really gets the help they need.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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