"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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quick response threads

penkitten

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i wanted to REMIND all of you that this site was built for you to improve yourselves and your relationships.
quick responses and fixes are never going to truly solve all your problems.
you must be willing to LOOK deeper inside yourselves, to LEARN about who you are, what you want out of your life and what you seek in a relationship.
you must be willing to SEEK out these things or no advise will truly help you.
you must be willing to DO the things that are needed to improve yourself and your own self esteem.

everyone matures on their own time, and wisdom of a lifetime takes a lifetime to earn.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Bonez

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Experience rocks!

So does experimenting, and eating too!
 

KontrollerX

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All true.

People here should at least read the book of Pook if nothing else in the DJ Bible, internalize all that good stuff and then combine that with their gut instinct and they will know what to do in just about every relationship situation themselves without having to ask the board.
 

penkitten

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Bonez said:
Experience rocks!

So does experimenting, and eating too!
experience does rock, and it is the only way that i ever learned anything.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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penkitten said:
i wanted to REMIND all of you that this site was built for you to improve yourselves and your relationships.
quick responses and fixes are never going to truly solve all your problems.
you must be willing to LOOK deeper inside yourselves, to LEARN about who you are, what you want out of your life and what you seek in a relationship.
you must be willing to SEEK out these things or no advise will truly help you.
you must be willing to DO the things that are needed to improve yourself and your own self esteem.

everyone matures on their own time, and wisdom of a lifetime takes a lifetime to earn.
Such wisdom, and from a woman???!!! How can that be!!!??? :confused:

Oh... It's PK...

Typical...

;)
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Giovanni Casanova

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I'm so old that I remember when cell phones were the size, shape, and weight of a big red brick. Now they've all got cameras and music players and QWERTY keyboards and f*cking Internet Explorer.

/grampa :cuss: :cuss:

So here's how that has changed life here. Five years ago, a guy from this site went out and thought to himself, "There's a girl I like. I think I will ask her out. Okay, remember the DJ Bible. Should I just be myself? NO! Myself is a douche bag. I need to be funny, smart, and interesting instead. She's walking over this way! Oh sh*t! Okay, calm down. Remember the DJ advice: don't call her within three days of getting her number. Wait, that doesn't help me at all! Dammit, she's almost here! [pisses self] Oh, man, if only I knew... WWGCD? (What Would Giovanni Casanova Do?)"

But in today's modern age, that scenario would go something like this:

"There's a girl I like. I am not sure if I should ask her out. I will use my Palm Treo to navigate to sosuave.net and post a poll. 'QUICK RESPONSE: Should I ask out a girl?' Okay... let's see. Looks like 'YES' wins, 6 to 3. Okay. Now, I'll just use these tiny little buttons to type 'What should I say to her? Response needed quickly! Please help!' All right, Giovanni Casanova says to approach her and say, 'Yarrr! Today be Talk Like a Pirate Day, and I be bettin' yer wantin' to walk me plank.' Oh, that's gold. Okay. [Five minutes later] All right, just click on Health and Fitness. New Thread. 'QUICK REPLIES! Girl punched me in face, how to stop bleeding eye socket?'"
 

KarmaSutra

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Penkittens advice is as rare as Kobe steak, and just as valuable and tasty :cheer: .

Seriously, if you guys can put aside your pride you'll be able to see what significance her words entail.

My interpretation of her wisdom is what all of the greats speak of:

Empower yourselves.

Don't sit on the sideline and expect to be thrown a hail mary. You won't get the glory or courage from watching the other guys do it.
 

Bonez

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Giovanni Casanova said:
But in today's modern age, that scenario would go something like this:

"There's a girl I like. I am not sure if I should ask her out. I will use my Palm Treo to navigate to sosuave.net and post a poll. 'QUICK RESPONSE: Should I ask out a girl?' Okay... let's see. Looks like 'YES' wins, 6 to 3. Okay. Now, I'll just use these tiny little buttons to type 'What should I say to her? Response needed quickly! Please help!'
lol:crackup:

We still get threads like that. I wonder who responds to those? I don't even bother opening them.
 

penkitten

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Bonez said:
lol:crackup:

We still get threads like that.
i know, thats why i wrote this one.
there is so much more to offer around here than fast response quick fix threads where no one really gets the help they need.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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