"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Quick question

Darth

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There's this cute foreign woman I met in one of my classes yesterday. She was really beautiful, and nobody would go up to her, but I noticed she was giving me a lot of eye contact, and so I went up to her after class and we talked for a while. She's at least late 20's and probably early 30's.

The only problem is that she is attached to my professor in some way (who seems like a really cool man).

I don't know if she's his wife, or his girlfriend, or if it's just a casual thing. But it was obvious they were familiar with each other. He went over and stood beside her at one point as we were talking. I don't think she's his wife because she would have said something, and also she wasn't wearing a ring.

Anyway, I emailed her and she's invited me to come by her house sometime to talk about music (my degree and her profession). This was her idea.

Should I ask her what the deal is between her and the professor? Or just take her at face value and just discuss business. She was laughing when I was talking to her and seemed very receptive, laying on heavy eye contact. I was trying my best to be dominant despite my age.

Again, she is extremely hot. But maybe I shouldn't go into the deep end considering her age...
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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MurdocNiccals

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Uhm, disregard the professor. She's inviting you to her house to "discuss music" (yeaaaah of COURSE she is...) Who cares whether she's married to the professor?
 

Darth

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Wouldn't do it if she was married. I don't go ther.e
 

Darth

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You know the more i think about this, the more risky it sounds.

This is the most tempting thing that has happened to me in a while, though. Deep down I know she probably doesn't just want to talk. We could do that over the phone....

Please somebody, Tell me not to do this! I give advice on this stuff a lot, but it's different when you're the one in the middle of it
 

pipe007

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just ask her casually

just casually bring up some topic regarding class and the professor and wait for a comment that she makes about him, and then dig a lil deeper

like do you know our professor from outside of school? you guys seem like good friends.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Darth

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^^Thing is, she's not in my class. She was visiting. The professor brought her in as a guest, but by the way he talked to her, they were on really familiar terms.

I tried to be discreet about talking to her, but he saw her and me talking and went up and stood beside her, and then he walked away quickly.

Today I got kind of a weird vibe from him when he walked past.

So I'm about 85% sure SOMETHING is going on between them. And the last thing I need is my *** kicked, my grade shot, and my conscience ruined for messing around with someone else's girlfriend.

EDIT: ON the other hand, she is smoking hot and super feminine too. I couldn't quit thinking about her yesterday
 

pipe007

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dude common!

just ask her, its even easier if he brought her as a guest, then it is OBVIOUS that they know each other

just as you get to know her ask her..ASK ASK ASK

so how do you an my professor know each other?"
how come he brought you to class?

a simple question can save you a lot of trouble and maybe possible confrontation
 

terran2k

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why complicate this so much; just go over there and do what you gotta do.
 

pipe007

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why complicate it?
because if she is his efing wife, then OP could be in for a lot of trouble.

some people need some common sense training ASAP
 

terran2k

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why would the professor bring his wife into class and not introduce her as such to the class?
Why would she openly invite another guy to her house if she was married to the professor?
yeah, i agree, some people do need common sense training.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Darth

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"Why would she openly invite another guy to her house if she was married to the professor?"

I guess that's a good point. Probably if they were living in the same house, she wouldn't have done that.

By the way, she just emailed me again.
 

pipe007

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well she wants it, that's for sure.

ask her, and let us know how it goes!
 

Darth

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I'm leaving for home soon, so I told her I would contact her when I got back, but that I liked her idea.

She wished me Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, and said she hopes I have a great time.

To be continued......
 

Darth

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She's married.

I got back in contact with her and she wrote an email today that ended with:

"I am kind of not busy over this weekend."

The curiosity was killing me, so I found her on the Internet.

So...that'll be the end of that.
 

AAAgent

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never ask about things you don't want to be true/things you don't want to know.

and never pry to try to find out like you did because when you do find out, its not that the opportunity is technically gone, but you've closed out the opportunity from yourself. It's like i never ask about a girl i consider relationship material if she is seeing anyone else but if i catch her double dipping, i completely lose interest.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

Darth

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It's better this way though. Can you imagine if my professor walked in when I was there. How was that going to work anyway? If she's married, that means it's HIS HOUSE.

Still can't believe she really was his wife.

But I'm irritated. Not because she's married, but because she led me on without telling me.
 

Darth

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Sh$t- she just proposed a meeting place and time- a bookstore.

Is it possible she really just wants to talk? I can't stop thinking about this. Advice needed. I have that feeling like I'm about to make a huge huge mistake.
 

WaRpEd

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Let it go.

Move on to next target.
 

Darth

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I've decided to meet her, but I will not let it get out of hand. We started discussing this before I knew she was married, so it's hard to back out now.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

Read more...

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