Quick Advice Wanted

[Divorced w 3]

Use the phone not video. Why is this so hard to understand?

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

Better yet why not meet quickly in person for 15-20 minutes? If there's no click, politely excuse yourself and be on your way. If there IS a click, extend it

I mean it's 15-20 minutes out of your life, the same time you would have spent on phone talking into a device/video screen without the necessary benefit of their physical presence - their vibe, energy, essence which is the only way to determine genuine chemistry anyway.

I've made a new friend recently where I live and she inititally met her husband on a swipe app.

They video chatted and she said it was the most freakin awkward thing eve! Two strangers talking through a screen silently sizing each other up again without the benefit of their energy/vibe/essence -- physical presence.

The call ended quickly with zero connection and they didn't meet.

Well....

Two months later they ran into each other spontaneously at a coffee shop (it's a small town), they recognized each other from the app and began chatting casually without any pressure to "click." Like they did on that awkward video call. Ugh.

Well guess what? Sparks flew! They couldn't stop talking, touching, etc and they got married three months later!

Meet in person quickly! 15-20 minutes out of your busy life in a public venue. Same length of time as a phone/video call.

Strike while the iron is hot! No chance of overthinking your way out and/or being turned off by an awkward video chat.

$.02

I've been preaching "no pay dates, but meet & greets" for the longest.

When I say it, it gets ignored.

When some else say it, it is the best advice in the world.

Life just ain't fair.

 

[Bokanovsky]

I'm in Arizona trying to get a feel for the place. Matched with a couple girls on the dating apps and have a tentative date set for tonight. The bars are open until 2AM so I suggested we meet up around 10PM. She wanted to grab something to eat so I made sure this place served food until 12AM, I figure we get the best of both worlds at this spot.

However, she's telling me now that she was hoping to be home by 10PM because she has to be up at 5AM. Friday she has a holiday party and Saturday morning she's leaving for Indiana.

She is very high interest, but I don't think this makes sense logistically anymore. Curious if any of you guys would still try to see this through, or whether you'd invest that time elsewhere.

Considering that you claim to have slept with over 100 women and are trying to build a business as dating coach, the following should be self-evident. If you are traveling and meeting a girl in another city, and your objective is to get laid, you are wasting your time unless she's giving very strong indicators that she's DTF right out of the gate. Not merely high "his interest" but DTF. If this isn't clearly obvious from your pre-date interactions, you will strike out 99 times out of 100.

 

[BPH]

Considering that you claim to have slept with over 100 women and are trying to build a business as dating coach, the following should be self-evident. If you are traveling and meeting a girl in another city, and your objective is to get laid, you are wasting your time unless she's giving very strong indicators that she's DTF right out of the gate. Not merely high "his interest" but DTF. If this isn't clearly obvious from your pre-date interactions, you will strike out 99 times out of 100.

I am aware...that is why I asked this question to the forum...

I had a bias.

The suggestions I received conflicted with that bias.

I took a chance.

The bias was confirmed.

Could I have screened better? Sure. But as I mentioned before, I do much better with women when I'm face-to-face with them, and the only way to guarantee I wouldn't get laid is by not going on the date - so I went.

If I had gotten laid, this thread would instead be about how I was charming enough to "game" a woman into discarding her reservations and make an exception for me.

But it's not, and as @The Duke mentioned earlier, when faced with a similar situation in the future, I will know the answer rather than having to ask.

That conclusion was reached 3 pages ago, so I don't know why this is still a trending topic.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I am aware...that is why I asked this question to the forum...

I had a bias.

The suggestions I received conflicted with that bias.

I took a chance.

The bias was confirmed.

Could I have screened better? Sure. But as I mentioned before, I do much better with women when I'm face-to-face with them, and the only way to guarantee I wouldn't get laid is by not going on the date - so I went.

If I had gotten laid, this thread would instead be about how I was charming enough to "game" a woman into discarding her reservations and make an exception for me.

But it's not, and as @The Duke mentioned earlier, when faced with a similar situation in the future, I will know the answer rather than having to ask.

That conclusion was reached 3 pages ago, so I don't know why this is still a trending topic.

This seems like way too much overthinking.

As soon as you found out this chick had to be up at 5am the next morning for work along with having a crap load of other stuff going on that day, it was game over in terms of getting laid unless you got her out at like 5pm.

 

[BPH]

This seems like way too much overthinking.

As soon as you found out this chick had to be up at 5am the next morning for work along with having a crap load of other stuff going on that day, it was game over in terms of getting laid unless you got her out at like 5pm.

I found that out the same night I was supposed to see her. She agreed to drinks but didn't mention a curfew until I suggested a late time.

That's why I came here to see if it would be a waste of time, which it ended up being.

I agree with what you're saying, I was just trying to be open-minded.

 

[Clockwerk50]

I found that out the same night I was supposed to see her. She agreed to drinks but didn't mention a curfew until I suggested a late time.

That's why I came here to see if it would be a waste of time, which it ended up being.

I agree with what you're saying, I was just trying to be open-minded.

Are you going to move to Arizona then?

 

[BPH]

Are you going to move to Arizona then?

Almost definitely not. Phoenix/another time of year might be better to paint a full picture, but it would have to be a significant improvement to be any consideration, which I doubt.

I'll probably revive @SW15 's thread about the dating scene in the area. It's Scottsdale as opposed to Phoenix, but they're in close enough proximity that I think the women are likely similar to what I experienced.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

Are you going to move to Arizona then?

Nah.

We tryna keep the simp population out here to a minimum.

 

[Solomon]

IME experince if you are only there for the week you gotta be more direct, you have nothing to lose

In my experince sometimes it works a lot of time it doesn't (as women want a serious local realtionship) waste of time to go on a date just to never the person again unless you're just doing it for the vibes

MY advice would be to flirty out the gate, to many men are afraid to risk it, if the girl isn't feeling it fine, but there are women who are. There way a period from Early June To October I didn't go on a single date, but was still slaying

 

[Clockwerk50]

Nah.

We tryna keep the simp population out here to a minimum.

@GoodMan32 also lives in Arizona lmao

That’s why I tagged you so you could meet up with them.

 

[Clockwerk50]

Almost definitely not. Phoenix/another time of year might be better to paint a full picture, but it would have to be a significant improvement to be any consideration, which I doubt.

I'll probably revive @SW15 's thread about the dating scene in the area. It's Scottsdale as opposed to Phoenix, but they're in close enough proximity that I think the women are likely similar to what I experienced.

It probably feels too different from the east coast. I heard the population in Tucson is bigger but I’m not aware how everything over there is.

 

[Solomon]

No offens but people attacking the OP is kind of lame to me, this is one of the reasons why I don't post on here anymore asking questions
I keep things to myself. Luckily for me 90% of the situations I deal with I already dealt with, but instead of piling on why not just give your advice all this grandstanding doesn't mean shyt unless you're posting pics but alas yall wont. I digress

 

[BPH]

No offens but people attacking the OP is kind of lame to me, this is one of the reasons why I don't post on here anymore asking questions
I keep things to myself. Luckily for me 90% of the situations I deal with I already dealt with, but instead of piling on why not just give your advice all this grandstanding doesn't mean shyt unless you're posting pics but alas yall wont. I digress

Yeah, I feel that.

There are still several members who I find helpful and appreciate their advice. But I do also notice a pattern with the usual suspects, and they often fall into 1 of 3 categories:

• "Aren't you a dating coach? Shouldn't you know better if you're teaching other men?"
• "You're living at home with your family, you shouldn't be spending time chasing women."
• "See, this is why you should've gone Mode One. OP is just a beta simp."

I get that I'm held to a higher standard, but sometimes this gets ridiculous...

Professional bullriders still get bucked off their bulls. Professional quarterbacks still throw interceptions. I believe part of the reason I've been so successful is that I don't believe I'm all-knowing or infallible, and still ask questions. As @SmoothHendrixPS2 put it earlier, always learning.

Either way, this thread has gone on much longer than it needed to.

 

[Divorced w 3]

Yeah, I feel that.

There are still several members who I find helpful and appreciate their advice. But I do also notice a pattern with the usual suspects, and they often fall into 1 of 3 categories:

• "Aren't you a dating coach? Shouldn't you know better if you're teaching other men?"
• "You're living at home with your family, you shouldn't be spending time chasing women."
• "See, this is why you should've gone Mode One. OP is just a beta simp."

I get that I'm held to a higher standard, but sometimes this gets ridiculous...

Professional bullriders still get bucked off their bulls. Professional quarterbacks still throw interceptions. I believe part of the reason I've been so successful is that I don't believe I'm all-knowing or infallible, and still ask questions. As @SmoothHendrixPS2 put it earlier, always learning.

Either way, this thread has gone on much longer than it needed to.

You have to stop worrying so hard about what others think. You also are one of the largest complainers about when you ask for advice and then you get an alternative viewpoint that has merits and you just whine about it relentlessly. You’re not special and you don’t do anything that most other seasoned members can do you just shine a spotlight on yourself. You’re not held to any standard that’s any different. The insecurity is a massive turn off. Like your avatar dude this isn’t Grindr. Get over yourself.

 

[BPH]

You have to stop worrying so hard about what others think. You also are one of the largest complainers about when you ask for advice and then you get an alternative viewpoint that has merits and you just whine about it relentlessly. You’re not special and you don’t do anything that most other seasoned members can do you just shine a spotlight on yourself. You’re not held to any standard that’s any different. Get over yourself.

My goodness...in less than 5 minutes after my reply, you left your own angry reply and edited it...twice. You IMMEDIATELY proved my point.

@Dr.Suave can we lock this thread? It's way past being constructive. I'm not giving this any more attention.

 

[Divorced w 3]

My goodness...in less than 5 minutes after my reply, you left your own angry reply and edited it...twice. You IMMEDIATELY proved my point.

@Dr.Suave can we lock this thread? It's way past being constructive. I'm not giving this any more attention.

Yeah let’s go cry for mod relief because another nexus of participants called you out for being a manchild. Also, you didn’t copy the most prescient point I made in my last comment - why are you exposing yourself to a male seduction forum like you’re posting a page on Grindr? Who are you kidding that you’re some sort of victim?

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

"See, this is why you should've gone Mode One. OP is just a beta simp."

It is what it is.