Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

Read more...

Questions about some girls at work

RestUnknown

Don Juan
Joined
Mar 21, 2016
Messages
144
Reaction score
20
Age
37
Hi

Long time reader, first time poster since I have a question.

First of all, I know not to sh*t where you eat, but it would be great to get some answers.

I work at this place for a few months. When I started there, there was this girl that attracted my attention. I noticed her looking at me, but we were never able to make contact since we work at completely different departments and only 'see' each other perhaps two-three times a week in the company restaurant or in the hallways.

Lately she stopped looking at me, probably because I never initiated contact with her. But I see her 'ignoring' me as well. She has no problem talking to some of my colleagues (all things fair, my colleagues talk to her), but she says nothing to me.

What I want to know is, did she had interest in the beginning when I noticed her looking at me a lot? I know at the moment there is nothing anymore, but it would still be nice to know.

Now there is another girl, well girl, I guess she's about 35 (I'm 26), but honestly she's drop dead gorgeous. I see her constantly looking my way, smile, looking back towards me when she leaves a room. But again, don't sh*t where you eat. I just want to know if I read the signs correctly and that she's flirting or attracted or that I just imagine things.

Thanks
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

Read more...

Skyline

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 15, 2013
Messages
1,849
Reaction score
563
Location
West Coast
If your gut is telling you something, then trust it.

Just a while back my gut was telling me that I was texting this girl back and forth too much, without any sort of physical escalation ,and that if I did not do anything I would be friend zoned.

Fast forward to about a week later and I end up getting laid one late night. Pretty sure if I were to have waited and not trust my gut, I would have missed out.

If you're posting this here, then yes she had interest. That new girl is interested as well. I would go for it since you rarely see her, assuming she's like the other girl in that sense.
 

Yewki

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 6, 2013
Messages
1,504
Reaction score
589
You admit you would not fool around with a woman from work, and yet you concern yourself with them.

All this is doing is detracting you from chasing actual, viable options.

Also, do you find it odd that you didn't get in contact with the first girl and your excuse was she worked in a different department... and yet, your colleagues talked to her?
 

RestUnknown

Don Juan
Joined
Mar 21, 2016
Messages
144
Reaction score
20
Age
37
Yeah you're right. It was possible to make contact, I'm just not confident enough and have this huge fear of rejection.

And to be honest, even though we work at the same place, I would still go for it even though I've read numerous stories about not dating co-workers.
 

marmel75

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 4, 2012
Messages
7,175
Reaction score
5,571
Yeah you're right. It was possible to make contact, I'm just not confident enough and have this huge fear of rejection.

And to be honest, even though we work at the same place, I would still go for it even though I've read numerous stories about not dating co-workers.
That's because you want to get fired for sexual harassment and make yourself unhirable to other companies. Hope you enjoy flipping burgers at McDonald's or cleaning the sh!tters out...
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

Read more...

RestUnknown

Don Juan
Joined
Mar 21, 2016
Messages
144
Reaction score
20
Age
37
Ok I understand that. Not that anything will happen since I'm too shy. I just want to know if the 'signs' are true that in some way they're interested?
 

Yewki

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 6, 2013
Messages
1,504
Reaction score
589
Ok I understand that. Not that anything will happen since I'm too shy. I just want to know if the 'signs' are true that in some way they're interested?
What does it matter if they're interested or not, if you're not gonna take action either way?

This is like asking about the winning lottery numbers, without having bought a ticket. Why do you even care? You're not in the game
 

RestUnknown

Don Juan
Joined
Mar 21, 2016
Messages
144
Reaction score
20
Age
37
What does it matter if they're interested or not, if you're not gonna take action either way?

This is like asking about the winning lottery numbers, without having bought a ticket. Why do you even care? You're not in the game
Perhaps a confidence boost that I can use elsewhere.
 

BetterCallSaul

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 25, 2014
Messages
855
Reaction score
373
Location
Texas
Like everyone else has said, and I have preached multiple times, getting involved with women at work is not a good idea. I don't care if you work for a large company with 100,000 employees and you both live and work in different countries, don't do it.

Are your options so limited that you need to focus all your time and energy pursuing someone at work who, if things go sour, can easily have your a$$ in a sling over some made-up sexual harrassment charge? Remember any guy who wants to call shots in his own life needs to have secure income coming in, and you risk allowing pu$$y to jeopardize that because you not only want to put it on a pedestal, you want to have it involved in your work AND personal life.

Guys who have no options and/or are lazy are who typically get involved with women at work.
 

Yewki

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 6, 2013
Messages
1,504
Reaction score
589
Perhaps a confidence boost that I can use elsewhere.
A real confidence boost is walking up to a girl and having an actual conversation. A real confidence boost involves taking initiative. What you're talking about is just petty speculation to temporarily boost your ego and has no real use.

Stop trying to play the game from the sidelines.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

Read more...

BetterCallSaul

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 25, 2014
Messages
855
Reaction score
373
Location
Texas
Perhaps a confidence boost that I can use elsewhere.
BS. You know dam well that if you do get the confidence to ask her out, and she says yes, you fully intend to take her out and try to bang her later. Stop being lazy and get out there and meet other women.
 

RestUnknown

Don Juan
Joined
Mar 21, 2016
Messages
144
Reaction score
20
Age
37
Look I completely understand. I just want to know if I interpret the signs correctly. As you can tell I'm a total noob and I just want to know that if I see these signs, that it is because they're indeed attracted. I can use this with other girls (outside work) that show these signs.
 

marmel75

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 4, 2012
Messages
7,175
Reaction score
5,571
The only "sign" that matters is when you are both naked and she's on her knees giving you a blowj0b and begging you to fvck her.

In general stop looking for signs and just escalate as if she's into you.

In your case stop looking for signs and drop it because you are going to ruin your life by catching a sexual harrassment suit.
 

Tictac

Banned
Joined
Jul 28, 2009
Messages
3,668
Reaction score
1,244
Location
North America, probably an airport
Look I completely understand. I just want to know if I interpret the signs correctly. As you can tell I'm a total noob and I just want to know that if I see these signs, that it is because they're indeed attracted. I can use this with other girls (outside work) that show these signs.
All you will ever need to know is this -

1. A woman that is interested in you won't confuse you.
There are no 'signs' to read. That's just you hoping. You don't need a map or a book on reading 'signs'. That's just you hesitating.

2. If you are interested in her, talk to her and ask her out.
Try it. You won't die.

If you're not going to ask them out, what does it matter?
 
Last edited:

RestUnknown

Don Juan
Joined
Mar 21, 2016
Messages
144
Reaction score
20
Age
37
Well I just found out this new woman will only be at the company for a short while since she's ad-interim for some development program. Does change it around a bit.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

Read more...

Top