question on paying for dinner....

[k man]

ok, this is more of a "trying to understand what the hell is going on" question than a "looking for help" question. here's what happened -

- i ran into this girl that i had known a long time back
- asked her out for a drink to catch up
- i payed because i am a nice kid
- later on, asked her out again for drinks on a weeknight
- she wanted to pay for both of us this time, but i payed again simply because i was the one asking her to hang out and i felt guilty getting paid for when i suggested it
- later on, there's this opera in the park i wanted to check out, so i asked her to come along (since you can't ask a guy to that sorta thing)
- she was up for it, but had to work late. so, she suggests dinner and picks a place
- after dinner, she insists on paying, and i let her

so, here's the question...in this scenario....did she pay because -

a. she is interested in me
b. she wants to 'even it up' and make it clear to me we are friends

a or b????

 

[InLawsHateMe]

I think she wanted you to know several things about her....

1. She's interested
2. She's independant
3. She's 50/50 if you are. Pay now, I'll buy next time or visa versa.

Most of the times, if I suggest a place, I'll pay. If she suggests a place, she can pay, and I'd leave the tip. ...unless it's a great place, and I had an extrememly good time, and the bill was hellalot, I'd pay half or at least pick up some of the drinks that night. Just how it could be handled.

 

[Reto]

I agree with Inlaw...

The days of the guy pays are over in my book...Women work too...

 

[drixsa]

i dunno it also could be that she doesnt want to "owe" you anything. prolly not but always possible

 

[k man]

drisxa -

exactly. that's where my confusion is...i can see a woman doing that as well. anyone else? i'm concerned i led her on.

 

[-HPNOTQ-]

take it as a blessing bro.

a woman that is willing to pay, in most events, is a good woman. if it were a first date thing, and she obviously had no attraction for you, she would have gone half on the first date and never would have let the second date happen.

but, she's willing to work with you because, most likely, she's interested and genuinely considerate.

crazy as it sounds, some women can actually be very gorgeous, independant, and considerate yet be very attracted to you.

crazy eh?

-HQ

 

[drixsa]

Originally posted by k man
drisxa -

exactly. that's where my confusion is...i can see a woman doing that as well. anyone else? i'm concerned i led her on.

thats the thing you gotta take a chance

if it doesnt work out, there is a common phrase here: NEXT!

 

[Gangster Of Love]

Good thing you got going. You know she is not a proffesional dater, and has some high interest, since she's trying to even the score and be fair, since she's looking forward to seeing more of you. Always be ready to pay if you have to, but also give her the chance to pay. People have a sense of fairness and they want to pay back for something nice you do, at least descent people. Don't take away the joy that her paying would give her. When we do something nice for others, we feel good about it. When you deny them the chance to do something nice, you take away that feeling that everyone needs in order to feel fulfilled and feel a sense of fairness.

 

[Dee-Zy]

I don't see it as anything except for a good thing. It's too hard to call for the interest solely based on 'offering to pay'

The way I see it - It's a good thing because

girls should atleast always offer
not get a free ride all the time
it shows that she's a good person N not sumbody looking for a free ride.

I see it more as a quality in a person then as a sign of interest.

 

[Reto]

Think about it. Would you go out with a girl who never paid?

I can see if she wasn't working. But, sooner or later she's gonna get a job. (Or I won't be seeing her)...

 

[Dee-Zy]

Originally posted by Reto
Think about it. Would you go out with a girl who never paid?

I can see if she wasn't working. But, sooner or later she's gonna get a job. (Or I won't be seeing her)...

EXACTLY