"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Question on daydreaming/fantasizing

somewhatsuave

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Does stopping yourself from daydreaming/fantasizing about situations or youself improve your inner game?
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Rocko

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...listen man, please research on google or ask a psychologist. Daydreaming is necessary for your body to function, it keeps the imagination alive and it helps sort out certain things in the brain. It is a basic human necessity, only reason why I am posting this is because I am sick of hearing dumb questions that can be found out somewhere else without wasting our time. Thank you
 

mountain

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Don't listen to the flame, somewhatsuave. I think the only daydreaming that is going to hurt your inner game is visualizing failure. While its impossible to keep yourself from thinking about worst case scenarios, you should remind yourself to think positively.
 

JezDuffield

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An AUSSIE SOLDIER "Private Jake Cosgrove" DREAMED about SHOOTING himself DEAD and whilst on consignment in Iraq another AUSSIE SOLDIER was playing the Irish band the CRANBERRIES song DREAMS and he SHOT himself in the head and DIED, now they want to know if the song is DEMONIC but it does prove one thing that DREAMS can and do come TRUE sometimes.:yes: :mad: :yes:
 

Rocko

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mountain said:
Don't listen to the flame, somewhatsuave. I think the only daydreaming that is going to hurt your inner game is visualizing failure. While its impossible to keep yourself from thinking about worst case scenarios, you should remind yourself to think positively.
Right, this coming from a man with no successful posts, mmhmm, I'm a flame who has taken psychology courses and they discussed this in the sleeping and dreaming states of mind, you should check it out, it may help you out in more ways than you could ever imagine
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Visceral

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Daydreaming/fantasizing is very bad. Avoid it at all costs.

I know from personal experience that fantasies don't make real world action any easier, and can even have you thinking things will be easier than they really are, making you likely to quit when you get a taste of brutal reality. They can also get your hopes up too high, causing you to be disappointed no matter what happens.

If you're good at them - like I am - the fantasy will become so engrossing that it will actually satisfy the desire you have, and you'll lose all motivation to even attempt the real thing.

Learn meditating to keep your mind empty and your focus on the world, not yourself - since this leads to self-consciousness which will make you fearful and hesitant.
 

somewhatsuave

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thanks visceral. That does make sense abouyt how it leads you to be self-conscious and that's the last thing you need when approaching girls.
 
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Good post

mountain said:
Don't listen to the flame, somewhatsuave. I think the only daydreaming that is going to hurt your inner game is visualizing failure. While its impossible to keep yourself from thinking about worst case scenarios, you should remind yourself to think positively.
Very nice!... Signed... i.e. stop thinking about how your x is enjoying s.ucking some other guys d.ick and taking it in the a.ss... :)
 
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I disagree

Visceral said:
Daydreaming/fantasizing is very bad. Avoid it at all costs.

I know from personal experience that fantasies don't make real world action any easier, and can even have you thinking things will be easier than they really are, making you likely to quit when you get a taste of brutal reality. They can also get your hopes up too high, causing you to be disappointed no matter what happens.
.

Listen there are different types of fantasizing, some good some bad, so I guess he should have been clearer on what he fantasizes about.. But some are even IMPORTANT>. for example, if you go to college, at some point it can get old and boring, but then if you think (fantasize) about what will come at the end having that degree (i.e. sucessful job, money, fun) etc... It will help you to keep going, i.e. gives you incentive to finish and not drop out..

on the other hand, as I mentioned fantasizing about your x cheating on you or something is not good, unless you get turned on by that rush.. i.e. some husbands like getting their wifes f.ucked by someone else (thats not the don juan way lol)
 

chickenlegs03

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"Imagination is more important than knowledge" - Albert Einstein

I believe imagination, daydreaming, and fantasizing are all very powerful tools.

Daydreaming and fantasizing can be good and bad. It's bad when you "wish it could happen." It is very good and powerful, however, when you believe it can and will happen.

For example, I recently wrote down what qualities I want the ideal girl to have...fantasized about it, believed it, and in 2 days (yesterday) I met a girl with those exact qualities I had imagined.

I used to daydream all the time. I would dream and fantasize sooo much it got in the way of studying and everything. It was my escape from my sh*tty reality at the time. I would close my eyes, go there, and when I came back I would suck at life. I thought those things in my dreams would never happen.

But the key is to choose what you daydream about, and believe it can happen. When you come out of a dream, you have to feel like you already have accomplished what you dream about. Then release that feel-good energy and give off the "I am the sh*t" vibe.

This is all stuff I've learnt from a book I'm reading called "Attractor Factor." I'm sure there's other books out there as well who teach you the power of visualization.

All I'm saying is, don't dismiss daydreaming altogether. Sure you shouldn't let it get in the way of your real life, but being able to visualize well is actually a skill that can really improve your life. Learn to hone it. I haven't even scratched the surface yet, and I'm amazed at the possibilities...
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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