somewhatsuave
Don Juan
Does stopping yourself from daydreaming/fantasizing about situations or youself improve your inner game?
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Right, this coming from a man with no successful posts, mmhmm, I'm a flame who has taken psychology courses and they discussed this in the sleeping and dreaming states of mind, you should check it out, it may help you out in more ways than you could ever imaginemountain said:Don't listen to the flame, somewhatsuave. I think the only daydreaming that is going to hurt your inner game is visualizing failure. While its impossible to keep yourself from thinking about worst case scenarios, you should remind yourself to think positively.
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Very nice!... Signed... i.e. stop thinking about how your x is enjoying s.ucking some other guys d.ick and taking it in the a.ss...mountain said:Don't listen to the flame, somewhatsuave. I think the only daydreaming that is going to hurt your inner game is visualizing failure. While its impossible to keep yourself from thinking about worst case scenarios, you should remind yourself to think positively.
Visceral said:Daydreaming/fantasizing is very bad. Avoid it at all costs.
I know from personal experience that fantasies don't make real world action any easier, and can even have you thinking things will be easier than they really are, making you likely to quit when you get a taste of brutal reality. They can also get your hopes up too high, causing you to be disappointed no matter what happens.
.
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.