Question for the veteran fellas in relationships...

[Thatfeel21]

Ok, so we all know females LOVE drama..If your girl is the argumentative type, how do you balance between arguing with her to give her her 'drama' feed and just ignoring her? Its impossible to win an argument with a woman and my newest gf (of 4 months) is the epitomy of that phrase. Thoughts?

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

My thoughts are if your arguing with a female she probably isn't the one for you. Who wants to argue for the rest of their life? Seems like you guys feed off arguing which is definately not a good thing.

 

[Thatfeel21]

Well obviously every relationship is going to have its arguments. Youre not seeing the point to my question.

 

[Aaron B]

Its the man's job to navigate around the arguments

Also some of us are really good at arguing - but when my woman and I argue, NO ONE wins

 

[Iceberg]

Well obviously every relationship is going to have its arguments. Youre not seeing the point to my question.

I think he's seeing the point of your question. You're just looking for an answer that encourages you to stay with her.

I consider myself a "veteran" AND I have experience in these types of relationship. And my opinion is, if your woman is the type who is constantly arguing with you, it's a losing battle.

When I was with a girl like yours, it was like I had to plan my night around NOT arguing with her. Can't bring her around my friends....she might say something embarrassing. Can't take her in public...she might start a fight.

The guys I know who stay with chicks like this are either weak, or they're drama queens themselves.

So to address your question....how do you balance between arguing with her to give her drama and ignoring her....You f**kin don't. If you have to live like this just to get laid, it's time to re-evaluate things.

 

[backbreaker]

lol op went from "how do you deal with the arguementive type" to "you don't undersstand every girl argues"

iceburg is spot on. If yoru girl nit picks and eerything just up and leave.

More than anything it tells ab out the type of person she is ,what type of personality she is. I just have better **** to do.

I had an ex nlike that, would argue over the silliest of ****. women like her have a make believe sense of relaity.

my wife and i haven't gotten into a seirous arguement, in damn near a year, I mean you are married **** happens, you forgot to run tot he store, she forgot to get her shoes out the front of the toliet and you fall over them in the morning lol, **** happens, but acgtually arguing foreal, damn near a year. thatr ex and iw ould argue like foreal once every week it seemed like. fvck that man find someone else.

 

[GameTime76]

I dont know what kind of arguments you have. Yes, I understand there will be arguments in relationships. BUT if she is INFLEXIBLE. Then, there will be constant battles that nobody wins. And if that is the case; she has Low Interest. Get another girl.

 

[handle]

I'm a very calm guy, I think I raised my voice once at a girl, once at a friend, and the rest at my parents during that whole teen angst period. Don't really have time for girls that get angry quickly. I briefly dated one, but I think she just felt silly raising her voice at a guy like me who's going to keep talking through the argument.

So I suppose my answer is there is no need to consciously think about when to engage in an argument. I've been in a 4 year relationship, no fights. She gets angry sometimes but she knows that's something she'll have to deal with by herself because I'm not going to get in a cathartic argument.

 

[Thatfeel21]

I think he's seeing the point of your question. You're just looking for an answer that encourages you to stay with her.

I consider myself a "veteran" AND I have experience in these types of relationship. And my opinion is, if your woman is the type who is constantly arguing with you, it's a losing battle.

When I was with a girl like yours, it was like I had to plan my night around NOT arguing with her. Can't bring her around my friends....she might say something embarrassing. Can't take her in public...she might start a fight.

The guys I know who stay with chicks like this are either weak, or they're drama queens themselves.

So to address your question....how do you balance between arguing with her to give her drama and ignoring her....You f**kin don't. If you have to live like this just to get laid, it's time to re-evaluate things.

^^Wow, that's the problem with this forum...I never said she argues all the time or that I ever have to plan my night around her because of it! Damn! She's nowhere near that bad or even approaching that, jesus. I was simply asking what ya'll do when your woman is in a *****y mood and youre just not in the mood for it? For the only the 2nd time, I am dating a woman that is challenging, confident and speaks her opinion; I'm not going to simply NEXT her because of a semi-vague post that is warped into your own perspective.

 

[Mantis Toboggan]

^^Wow, that's the problem with this forum...I never said she argues all the time or that I ever have to plan my night around her because of it! Damn! She's nowhere near that bad or even approaching that, jesus. I was simply asking what ya'll do when your woman is in a *****y mood and youre just not in the mood for it? For the only the 2nd time, I am dating a woman that is challenging, confident and speaks her opinion; I'm not going to simply NEXT her because of a semi-vague post that is warped into your own perspective.

So, the problem with this forum is that people read what you write and form opinions on it.

Look at your original post and read it over again.

You asked "If your girl is the argumentative type"

You said "How do you balance between arguing with her to give her drama"

You said "It's impossible to win an argument with a woman and my girlfriend is the epitome of it"

Blame Iceberg and the other guys all you want...but nothing in your original post said anything about "dealing with girls in a sh*tty mood." You basically said your girlfriend is argumentative...and you're trying to find a balance between arguing with her for the sake of giving her the drama she needs and ignoring her fights.

If things are not that bad, that's fine. But the way YOU phrased the question would not lead a rational person to believe that.

Look at your first post and tell me you disagree....

 

[backbreaker]

am i the only one that finds the irony in a guy starting a post about his GF being way argumentitive only to argue wiht everyone who tells him what he doesn't want to hear?

 

[handle]

I was simply asking what ya'll do when your woman is in a *****y mood and youre just not in the mood for it?

I don't hang out with her.

But you do realize that this is not how you phrased your original post, right? It seemed to me that you were saying women love drama, and so you wanted to know how often to allow an argument to escalate and how often to back down.

 

[LearningSlowly]

I'm a very calm guy, I think I raised my voice once at a girl, once at a friend, and the rest at my parents during that whole teen angst period. Don't really have time for girls that get angry quickly. I briefly dated one, but I think she just felt silly raising her voice at a guy like me who's going to keep talking through the argument.

So I suppose my answer is there is no need to consciously think about when to engage in an argument. I've been in a 4 year relationship, no fights. She gets angry sometimes but she knows that's something she'll have to deal with by herself because I'm not going to get in a cathartic argument.

I think this is the best way. You don't reflect the drama, you keep yourself calm and present. She'll try to fight with nothing to fight against. Now, she may hate that. She might want you to argue with her, think that's the way to show that you care about her. But who wants a girl like that anyway? If she wants to break up because you don't want to argue, good riddance.

am i the only one that finds the irony in a guy starting a post about his GF being way argumentitive only to argue wiht everyone who tells him what he doesn't want to hear?

Well said.

 

[Thatfeel21]

No, the problem with this forum is ya'll see what ya'll want to see. Its

always 'Next'. I never once said she nit picks or argues about everything;

she actually refuses to argue in front of ppl, and she's far from inflexible

with her reasoning and trust me her interest level is FAR from low. She's in

to me way more than im into her, and everybody who's been in my shoes

knows exactly what i mean cuz its an unmistakable feeling when you know

you got a woman on her heels. I'm not some nerdy chump kid, look at my

past threads and post...i just want some realistic advice cuz im not going

to breakup with her over her personality. My only prob is Im not used to a

woman as confident and aggressive as her . She is a manager at her job

and is used to calling the shots so maybe i'm just being too much of a

biznitch? I DO like the challenge though, cuz im used to younger girls who

are too passive..So pretty much my question is, how do you deal with a

girlfriend that WILL state her opinion on any and everything that bothers her?

 

[Mantis Toboggan]

No, the problem with this forum is ya'll see what ya'll want to see. Its always 'Next'.

Right. Everyone else read it wrong....

it couldn't be that you wrote it wrong.

 

[Thatfeel21]

Right. Everyone else read it wrong....

it couldn't be that you wrote it wrong.

So instead of re-reading my post and giving me advice, all you do is take offense to my second post. Haha...right...

 

[backbreaker]

So instead of re-reading my post and giving me advice, all you do is take offense to my second post. Haha...right...

rotfl dude eveyone is rereading your post and it says the same thing.

either you are a pitriful troll or you are a complete idiot. your post says as clear as day, my GF is a arguemetn starter person, then when everyone tells you to dump her you say I never said my GF doesn't start arguements.. you are the worst type of dude, beucase you don't even really want advice. you want your ego stroked.

your AFCism is so potent, you refuse to accecpt any posbility of your life without this chick in it. so the thought that, this chick you have been dating for 4 motnhs is the problem just isnt' going to resinate in your mind. YOu want your solution and your solution si that you want your GF to stop making arguements and anyoen that doesn't give you what you want, is a pissy head

you can go somewhere else with that ****

 

[zekko]

I agree with the other "vets". If your girl is the "argumentative type", you get yourself another girl. Life's too short. I've been with my girlfriend eight years and I can count on one hand the number of arguments we've had.

But for some reason, I'm getting the impression it may not be the girl here who is the "argumentative type". Learn and go forward.

 

[Atom Smasher]

my question is, how do you deal with a girlfriend that WILL state her opinion on any and everything that bothers her?

You dump her or you choose a life of misery.

This is what we call an arrogant, controlling b!tch, OP, and she is going to chew you up and spit you out unless you listen to these guys who are in fact giving you sound advice based on your description of her.

If she is "the epitome of that phrase", as you say, then depending on who you really are inside, you might deserve far better than that. Or, perhaps you deserve every minute of spirit-erosion that she will drag you through. As I said, it depends on who you are inside.

 

[Thatfeel21]

Wait...so i should find a woman who will never speak her mind and just fall prey to whatever I say? Backbreaker ive read a lot of your post and i appreciate your 'tough love-ness' but Im far from being "stuck" on this woman. Im just confused at this point. When i say argumentative type i mean that she's not afraid to voice her mind if Im on some bull$hit or whatever. Personally, ive dated women who were so weak and passive that it bothers me cuz they let me get away with being an a$$hole. She's literally the first 'strong' one ive faced and i just need advice. How the hell am i a troll??