"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Question about Friendster

B

BigDawg

Don Juan
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Mar 28, 2005
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Do any of you have accounts on Friendster? I realize it's not an online dating website, but I wanted to get some opinions of people in my peer group (i.e., youse guyz).

Thanks.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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C

Chrispy

Senior Don Juan
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Sep 29, 2001
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Hi - I am on it but use it only to keep up with people I already know. I try to hit conversations with people but you're better off going on match.com (though some here may argue against that!).

Still, the message boards have many ideas and it's good only for entertainment.
 
T

TooColdUlrick

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 23, 2003
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Hollywood
is friendster still around? myspace took everyone away, en masse.
 
B

BigDawg

Don Juan
Joined
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Messages
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Location
Mistake by the Lake
Thanks for the input. I had gotten an invitation to join friendster from a girl who rejected me a year ago. WTF? When she rejected me, she said she still wanted to be friends with me, whatever that means.

Anyway, I was curious about the website and I've decided that joining it is a waste of my time. Besides, if Myspace has taken most of the people away from friendster, then that's even more reason to stay away.
 
R

Ricky

Master Don Juan
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Big Dawg, good to see you again. How goes thiings?
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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