"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Pulled a lesbian last night

zinc4

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First off i was pretty drunk...2 day binge drinking...at a night club...no game involved..i made it a point not to try and game any woman i just wanted to go crazy dancing because i was really feeling the music pretty hardcore and figured a few would come up to me at one point which they did here and there...but i never chased nor even reciprocated that much just because i wasn't in the mood to this night....

Somehow i ended up with a lesbian...she had her hair cut short on purpose and dressed like a guy but i could see under her clothes she had a pretty sexy body actually....i was just doing my thing dancing all over the place and she approached me as the club was closing and said she is a lesbian and doesn't like guys but for some reason felt an urge to talk to me and asked what was a doing later..yep, weird she closed me not the other way around......at first i thinking like no she is too butch looking...but then after some close investigating i could see she would indeed be pretty hot if she wanted to doll herself up and dress well....so in my drunken state was like WTH why not...

she followed me out of the club into an elevator and back to my place..before we went at it she told me i was the first guy she had ever been with and that usually she can't get wet from a guy....i asked her why this time then...no answer i pulled her pants off and was happy with what i saw..very nice ass actually and smooth toned legs... proceeded to bang her but was too drunk to keep it up and fell asleep dung the process....hahaha i don't guess she had a great time because of my drunkness but she was moaning loudly at one point before i went soft...but i don't even remember finishing or passing out...woke up and she was gone which was more than fine by me...my first and only experience with a proclaimed lesbian though....

on a separate note...i really need to stop drinking......had one of the worst hangovers of my life yesterday and am still feeling it a little this morning.....
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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VladPatton

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Great story. However, she is probably twice the lesbian now getting a Marine buzz cut while flying the rainbow flag off the antenna on her Hummer! LOL
 

insomniac9

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yes, stop drinking or at least keep it to a minimum, & props for making that lesbo chick rethink her preferences haha ;)
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

Read more...

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