Provider hunters

[Scaramouche]

When asked,I used to tell them,"I work on the Garbage truck,$50 a Day and all you can eat,can't do better than that",Always got a smile.

 

[tksniper]

Advice from the old lady:

Don't worry so much about the so-called "provider hunter". A girl worth having is going to have some criteria in a dude, especially if she is LTR or wife material. And she should. If a woman is pretty enough to be attractive to a variety of men, she will choose her best option.

Not rocket science. ALL worthwhile women WILL do this. Why? Because smart women are not going to risk all the medical risks of childbearing and child rearing (which you can expect to take her out of the workforce for a while) with a loser who does not have his act together.

You are focused on the wrong thing here OP. Focus on her interest level and on her desire level. Those things should come first, but you having your act together as a man (who can properly support a family) is going to be close behind desire....and it should be.

If she is saying yes when you ask her out and things are progressing, don't blow yourself out by being overly in a hurry for sex. Nothing will blow you out faster than making a girl feel like all you are after is sex.

And that is my best guess as to what is happening here.

Slow down and be more patient. And feel free to be upfront about what you do, just mention it and move on. Being evasive about your job comes off as childish and idiotic. Not attractive.

If you don't understand why women are hard wired as provder hunters, well you don't understand women very well. And you'll have disdain in your vibe. Disdain is unattractive.

My guess is you also may lack in the looks department (you want a woman to have desire for you first - as a higher priority than what you do and what you have)......but those criteria are never going away entirely.

I cannot tell you the number of hot guys I've had interested in me.....that I blew off because they had drug habits, or a drinking problem, or did not have their act together financially. I'm a woman who is educated and has my life in order. I'm not taking on a project, no matter how handsome & sexy he is....

Especially when I could choose a handsome sexy man who DOES have his act together financially. I have thought that way all my adult life because I was raised that way and raised to value family and I wanted to marry a lover for whom I had sexual desire....and who could afford me being a mother to young children in that phase of life.

My son married a girl whose virginity he took. He wanted a full time wife/mother (the trad wife) and that is exactly what he got. He provides, and he is honored to do so, and he is THE love of her life. He is a very handsome young man, very fit, commissioned military officer, devout Catholic. And they just had a daughter, and my daughter-in-law is recovering from childbirth after a really difficult pregnancy.

So you bet sensible family oriented women want a man capable of providing.....that is a GOOD thing gentlemen.

You just need to be sure she has real sexual desire for you, and that may require more patience than you like at first.

Lol you’re still posting your long tripes? You’re the same woman who said your method of seduction was to flirt with other guys to make your target jealous. Then the entire forum sh1tted on you and then you tried to backtrack.

Did you ever figured out the meaning of interdependence?

 

[Solomon]

Sounds like OP is trying to smash, and ending up on boring dinner dates. Heck this happens to the best of us (happened to me last week but it wasn't dinner it was a drink and a shot)
IMO OP mode one would work it cuts the b.s. if you just looking to smash one thing I do is I flirt with women via text, innuendo etc. That's how I get the last chick with minimal effort it's high risk high reward but if that's what you're looking for it happens like the other guy said the better in shape you are the easier it will be to pull it off

I disagree but mind you; I'm different and I'm not the most successful seed spreader on the forum..


I think you should carry yourself with grace. In this era a job = a job. Gone are the days where there were " cool " jobs. It's swim or sink these days. Gotta be proud of your occupation.

Women will ALWAYS want a provider. It's on you to set the trap properly and and to bait (and switch) .

Nice things attract women. Period. You could however always be vague about your job. Many responses will tell you that; ve vague, be mysterious about your job, avoid the topic ect.

Personally ,again, I'd be proud of my job even if I was a garage man.

Spot on if you over 30+ have a job especially a good job, OWN that shyt

Woman asking what you do is going to happen on the first date. A woman asking if you enjoy your job or career is her wanting to know if you passionate about it. A woman asking you how much money you make or the type of car you drive is a red flag. I remember in 2023 I went out on a date with a 26-year-old I met off Tinder, and she straight up told me she was looking for a provider to finance her lifestyle cause she was tired of dealing with dusty broke dudes. In her pics she looked really cute but in person she looked 20 years older and chopped. After the date I blocked her number and deleted her of the app. I find that women who are golddiggers or do the tik tok talk are very easy to spot as these women tend to be obvious. Women who are around high earning men (notice I didn't say value) know if a guy is legit by just coming to your condo/house or the car you drive. They know the things to look for. The women who don't They are the ones that will use Tik Tok Lingo like "provider," "leader," "a guy to spoil me" etc. Women who sincerely want a man to lead or a traditional relationship, aren't going to use those buzzwords or be foolish enough to tell you stories of dealing with broke dudes who stretched them out like UnderTaker in 95 at the WWE Rumble!

It seems like OP is trying to just smash but ends up taking chicks for dinner or drinks it happens we all been there but in this situation, before you get on dates you should be vetting these women by texting/flirting etc. It's not a guarantee but this is where I will agree with Mode one guys if you're only looking to smash and you're trying to go about it a round-about way you're wasting your time and it seems that's the frame OP is taking. I've lost women even recently by not being sexual enough yes you lose chicks that way but there is a way you can execute it. Personally This is why first meets/dates should be cheap but a lot of guys also give "Boyfriend" vibes there is a fine balance IMO if a chick is attracted to you and you know it's easier but most women especially hot women are going to play it cool

Sounds like you're looking for very low quality women that would have sex after 1-2 dates. Of course that most women are not like that and thus will feel offended by your vibe and actions (escalate too much too fast). Nothing to do with them perceiving you as beta bucks.

If OP is meeting these women doing Nightgame most of them aren't worth taking seriously In my experience daygame girls are better quality but it sounds like OP is doing "Nice guy game" I'm very familiar with it as I used to run it myself and sometimes still do the issue is OP is trying to smash and having conversations that aren't exciting enough, first dates fall into interview frame a lot of guys don't know how to have an organic conversation but I can't blame them a lot of women are boring AF. If you're a profiecint conversationalist you will notice right away women who are good at it and women who are boooooooooooring. OP needs to give them the tingles (NO asmr) like Pook said spice it up

 

[Solomon]

In several instances, I've had a first date with these girls where we do end up at my place, and we kiss, but nothing more. And a few days after, both of these girls would unfollow me on Instagram. It is as though they thought i would be a nice guy provider kind of guy, but they realized I was trying to bang them on the 1st date and wouldn't be the beta bucks guy.

My philosophy in life is that everything is my fault, so what am I doing wrong to attract these types of women so much lately?

Maybe I am...

• Acting too nice and not giving enough player vibes in the initial interaction.
• Giving her serious answers about my life instead of playing around, making jokes about it
• Having an Instagram which shows too much money, and not enough player vibes.
• Just having bad luck by meeting women who are in the provider hunting phase. They've been pumped n' dumped and are now looking for a sucker to provide.

I've been in the game for years, but only this/last year has this become a recurring theme for me.

What will I experiment with to avoid this issue?

• If the topic of work comes up, I will playfully avoid the subject or tell them I work in photography, which would match more with the "player" category compared to IT. (Not a lie - I have done photography before)
• Be more playful, spike more emotions to seem like less of a nice guy
• have more fun, be less serious in my vibe

Ideally, I would like to avoid even ending up on a date with a provider hunter. If the girl shows up, it should be because she has that primal attraction, not the "this guy might be a good provider" attraction.

Does anyone else out there struggle with this? Has anyone else noticed more provider hunters out there? Any recommendations?

OP I'm curious do you live in a nice place? I work in tech and also have friends who work in IT, cybersecurity to be exact. One thing OP I do is when talking about my job is to be quick I tell women more about my side hustle because that's what I'm truly passionate about. I keep it simple because the truth is most women don't give a crap.

Another thing is first dates should be light and fun I got into the "serious" frame as well in my 30s I'm in my 40s now and I actually try to keep dates fun. It works if I'm dating younger women it doesn't work so much for women my age because most of them are jaded and forgot that 1st dates are supposed to be fun so I try not to date women my age

Keep it fun, keep it light and make sure you got tit on TIGHT ha ha

 

[Bokanovsky]

Women who are around high earning men (notice I didn't say value) know if a guy is legit by just coming to your condo/house or the car you drive. They know the things to look for. The women who don't They are the ones that will use Tik Tok Lingo like "provider," "leader," "a guy to spoil me" etc. Women who sincerely want a man to lead or a traditional relationship, aren't going to use those buzzwords or be foolish enough to tell you stories of dealing with broke dudes who stretched them out like UnderTaker in 95 at the WWE Rumble!

This is a good observation. When a woman says that she likes to be spoiled or wants a "generous man" (a.k.a. walking wallet), it's a telltale sign that she has never been spoiled or treated with generosity before. It's such a stupid thing to say because those code words are a massive turn-off for the very men they are trying to attract. It's the female equivalent of "send bobs and vagene".

 

[BeExcellent]

Lol you’re still posting your long tripes? You’re the same woman who said your method of seduction was to flirt with other guys to make your target jealous. Then the entire forum sh1tted on you and then you tried to backtrack.

Did you ever figured out the meaning of interdependence?

Nope. You have me confused with someone else dear. Men approach me, yes, they always have. I politely decline advances and make very clear that I am taken; as I have always done FFS.

My "method" of seduction is to be genuinely fun & kind & interesting in addition to being physically appealing. I require a man to invest (time/effort/money) and I return the level of investment.

People come to love what they invest in. Therefore I simply exist in such a way as to be worthy of investment. Simple.

Jealousy and trying to make others jealous is completely unnecessary.

But nice try .

 

[BeExcellent]

Spot on if you over 30+ have a job especially a good job, OWN that shyt

Women who are around high earning men (notice I didn't say value) know if a guy is legit by just coming to your condo/house or the car you drive. They know the things to look for. The women who don't They are the ones that will use Tik Tok Lingo like "provider," "leader," "a guy to spoil me" etc. Women who sincerely want a man to lead or a traditional relationship, aren't going to use those buzzwords or be foolish enough to tell you stories of dealing with broke dudes

Concur 100% with the above. A woman accustomed to affluence will simply observe. Where you live, if you are tidy, what you drive, how you care for your car, how you speak to her and to others, what you consider normal and what kind of standards you maintain in your life and lifestyle.

She will observe your behavior too. Do you treat her kindly, do you listen, do you get her door and pull out her chair; do you have manners.

All this an elegant woman will simply silently observe. And she will weigh how your aggregate lifestyle and behavior corresponds to her expectations of you as a man, and how compatible those things are.

If a woman feels the need to overtly tell you things that @Solomon mentioned? She is not an elegant woman accustomed to affluence. That might not matter to you, but the behavior will be night & day different.

Real money is quiet money. Classy women know this. Less sophisticated women do not.

 

[BadBoy89]

I've had quite a few dates lately where there has been a common theme.

And that theme is that the girl is very intersted in what I do for work, where I live, my education.

All of these girls are from daygame/nightgame, btw. I don't do OLD yet (until I get some proper photos).

Maybe my Instagram profile is also a problem, since it shows me traveling a lot, at nice places, which could make the girl think I have a lot of money.

How do these girls know your Instagram handle before you even meet them?

You have Instagram that shows you in nice places around the world, yet you don't have 2 nice photos for online dating?

Rock on!

Ideally, I would like to avoid even ending up on a date with a provider hunter. If the girl shows up, it should be because she has that primal attraction, not the "this guy might be a good provider" attraction.

If you don't do online dating, she's never seen you. How do you expect her to lust after you if she's never seen you?

Does anyone else out there struggle with this? Has anyone else noticed more provider hunters out there? Any recommendations?

Don't have Instagram.

 

[MatureDJ]

I've had quite a few dates lately where there has been a common theme.

And that theme is that the girl is very intersted in what I do for work, where I live, my education.

Stupidly, I gave these girls the boring, true answer, which is probably what leads me into a trap: I tell them I work in IT, live right in the city center, etc.

Now the problem is that there are a lot of women out there who are looking to "settle down", who are looking for a real "nice guy" kind of boyfriend who has money, and will provide for her like a good boy beta male.

I've met several women over 30 who were obvious provider hunters, but lately even a girl just 26 years old seemed to be a provider hunter, and was looking for a "serious" relationship. When I sexualized things on the date, she seemed almost offended.

All of these girls are from daygame/nightgame, btw. I don't do OLD yet (until I get some proper photos).

Maybe my Instagram profile is also a problem, since it shows me traveling a lot, at nice places, which could make the girl think I have a lot of money.

Anyway, the problem with these girls is that they are always just a massive waste of time. She won't bang you on the first date, she will make you wait, she's gonna judge you for choosing a cheap date spot, she's gonna make special rules for you, etc.

In several instances, I've had a first date with these girls where we do end up at my place, and we kiss, but nothing more. And a few days after, both of these girls would unfollow me on Instagram. It is as though they thought i would be a nice guy provider kind of guy, but they realized I was trying to bang them on the 1st date and wouldn't be the beta bucks guy.

My philosophy in life is that everything is my fault, so what am I doing wrong to attract these types of women so much lately?

Maybe I am...

• Acting too nice and not giving enough player vibes in the initial interaction.
• Giving her serious answers about my life instead of playing around, making jokes about it
• Having an Instagram which shows too much money, and not enough player vibes.
• Just having bad luck by meeting women who are in the provider hunting phase. They've been pumped n' dumped and are now looking for a sucker to provide.

I've been in the game for years, but only this/last year has this become a recurring theme for me.

What will I experiment with to avoid this issue?

• If the topic of work comes up, I will playfully avoid the subject or tell them I work in photography, which would match more with the "player" category compared to IT. (Not a lie - I have done photography before)
• Be more playful, spike more emotions to seem like less of a nice guy
• have more fun, be less serious in my vibe

Ideally, I would like to avoid even ending up on a date with a provider hunter. If the girl shows up, it should be because she has that primal attraction, not the "this guy might be a good provider" attraction.

Does anyone else out there struggle with this? Has anyone else noticed more provider hunters out there? Any recommendations?

Struggle? I just wish some attractive, fertile, childless women would let me ProviderMax. I can mog most men at this.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Struggle? I just wish some attractive, fertile, childless women would let me ProviderMax. I can mog most men at this.

Then you should get on the apps where you list your provider credentials but not your height.

 

[SW15]

I just wish some attractive, fertile, childless women would let me ProviderMax. I can mog most men at this.

When you were in the USA and working a STEM job, you didn't make enough money to offset your height deficiency.

 

[BeExcellent]

I cannot find it although I have looked..... Years ago in the early 90s my roommate had a copy of a New Yorker cartoon stuck to the fridge. The illustration was a glamourous woman with a fur coat and an updo wearing formal gloves and holding a martini and a cigarette at the end of a long cigarette holder with the smoke curling up lazily. Facing her was a short (shorter than her), fat, bald man in a suitcoat with beady eyes and a huge nose holding a highball glass.

With a wave of her hand the woman explains:

"Stanley, I am into handsome and/or rich. For you it will take about 50 million....."

And that is an unfortunate truth about shooting WAY over your league looks wise. I spent a couple of hours searching for that cartoon. It was quite amusing because its true but unspoken in social strata.

But if you look around you see it play out everywhere with the whole trophy wife thing (shrugs).

 

[tksniper]

Nope. You have me confused with someone else dear. Men approach me, yes, they always have. I politely decline advances and make very clear that I am taken; as I have always done FFS.

My "method" of seduction is to be genuinely fun & kind & interesting in addition to being physically appealing. I require a man to invest (time/effort/money) and I return the level of investment.

People come to love what they invest in. Therefore I simply exist in such a way as to be worthy of investment. Simple.

Jealousy and trying to make others jealous is completely unnecessary.

But nice try .

No I'm pretty sure it was you. You said something being fun, kind, and interesting - while working the room and flirting with other guys so that your target will approach. You already said you don't initiate so obviously you indirectly try to get men's attention.

I'm glad you are finally taken. I would feel bad if you were here for 10 years, constantly getting hit on by men by the hundreds and somehow still in the game.

And I would disagree that people tend to love what they invest in. They love the *character* of the person they chose to invest in. And if over time that person remains congruent with that character and first impression, then the love grows.

It's literally same with female to male attraction. The woman loves the initial character, but can fall out of love any moment the man betrays his personal integrity. This is why game rarely works with high esteemed women. Or if it works initially, then it's just a matter of time before she figures him out - if he isn't congruent. This was the entire pickup community. Fake the high value qualities at first, and try your darnest to remain congruent until you got laid.

To think you can attain and maintain love through investment alone is a delusion. Your character has to be congruent over a long period of time and it has to be authentic. You have to be the real deal if you want real success.

Which is why any type of game playing or manipulation can never lead to true love. But I digress, it appears that women think they know everything and somehow end up with 9 cats anyway.

 

[MatureDJ]

When you were in the USA and working a STEM job, you didn't make enough money to offset your height deficiency.

Yes, but my steady wealth increase has put me into another tier. I've got almost 20K shares of this puppy, among other great-performing positions:

https://finance.yahoo.com/quote/AEVA/

 

[darksprezzatura]

Comply or Bye