"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
Protect That Heart
- Thread starter Anti-Dump
- Start date
"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
Cyledehysp
Don Juan
Thank god!
comic_relief
Master Don Juan
Yes, but you must know the difference between REALLY loving her and loving her with some doubt on her part in there. Longing is a very important part of a relationship. If the guy shows he love his lady all the time and spending all his time with her, she will eventually find the "love" overwhelming and seek out a new guy to repeat the process.
She must know if she is to have this relationship with you she must treat you right. If she knows there is a possibility to get dumped, she will stick with you.
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
skip2mylou781
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squirrels
Master Don Juan
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As long as we're drudging up old metaphors, let's beat 'em to death too.skip2mylou781 said:
First of all, no man should have a fragile heart. A man's heart should be big and tough, able to take a beating and still love. The only way you build it up is like any other muscle...exercise. So you want to build your heart up to take rejection from 9.5s, you gotta get out there and date more of them. You've already proven you CAN do it. I'm in the same place you are, man. Just gotta do. Fall down seven times, stand up eight.
Second of all, your heart is YOURS. Even if you DO give it to a woman, it's only hers to hold. It still belongs to you. She gets to enjoy the benefits of the love it gives as long as she treats it right. If she doesn't, you take it BACK and find someone who WILL treat it right. If she knows she can take it without ever being called on to give it back, she will disregard it and abuse it.
Third of all, if you want a woman to desire your heart (your love), then it needs to be something precious. You want a special woman? You have to be a special man. There's no way around this...you have to improve YOU.
skip2mylou781
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you would think I would learn seeing as i have dated and had my heart broken FIVE times in the last 3 years by an hb7, hb9, hb8, hb9, and now this one.........its always the same ending, i seem to be helpless no matter how much experience I have, as i always end up with the broken heart due to not protecting it enough
squirrels
Master Don Juan
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You can give a girl love without giving up your heart. Do that first until she proves herself worthy.skip2mylou781 said:
skip2mylou781
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"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
MacAvoy
Banned
Just came across this. The reason why I love it is because he doesn't say DON'T LOVE, but he says take the lead in loving and don't accept any less than you give.Anti-Dump said:
MacAvoy
Banned
There is nothing to be sad about. In 5 years, your going to have guys bumping threads that were posted today, tomorrow, next week and saying I wish that guy was still around.JLR said:
You have the mentality that causes people to miss their ex's and want to go back to them. Because you view the past as so rosey instead of focussing on making your future rosey.
ps I just wanted to bump this great post again so you can ignore what I said above.
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
bump*As long as we're drudging up old metaphors, let's beat 'em to death too.
First of all, no man should have a fragile heart. A man's heart should be big and tough, able to take a beating and still love. The only way you build it up is like any other muscle...exercise. So you want to build your heart up to take rejection from 9.5s, you gotta get out there and date more of them. You've already proven you CAN do it. I'm in the same place you are, man. Just gotta do. Fall down seven times, stand up eight.
Second of all, your heart is YOURS. Even if you DO give it to a woman, it's only hers to hold. It still belongs to you. She gets to enjoy the benefits of the love it gives as long as she treats it right. If she doesn't, you take it BACK and find someone who WILL treat it right. If she knows she can take it without ever being called on to give it back, she will disregard it and abuse it.
Third of all, if you want a woman to desire your heart (your love), then it needs to be something precious. You want a special woman? You have to be a special man. There's no way around this...you have to improve YOU.
LuksSkywalker
Don Juan
This couldn't be more true than it already is. Take it from me. As soon as I feel great with a girl, these words start to jump out of my mouth. And what happens? In the beginning they like it and reply with same entusiasm as you but after some time if you use it too often it just becomes a phrase.
- I love you.
- I love you too.
No love in these words. Just a bunch of letters formed in a sentence. It becomes like a greeting.
- Hi (i love you)
- Hi (i love you too)
Beware if before going to bed you start saying "I love you".
- Good night, sleep well, see you tomorrow, love you.
Day in, day out. This means you're stuck in a routine (of saying I love you) and if it becomes a routine, it's no longer genuine.
No need to tell your gf everything that's going on in your mind. Keep things to yourself. Love is showed 90% of the time, no need to say it 90% of the time.