"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Protect That Heart
- Thread starter Anti-Dump
- Start date
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Cyledehysp
Don Juan
Thank god!
comic_relief
Master Don Juan
Yes, but you must know the difference between REALLY loving her and loving her with some doubt on her part in there. Longing is a very important part of a relationship. If the guy shows he love his lady all the time and spending all his time with her, she will eventually find the "love" overwhelming and seek out a new guy to repeat the process.
She must know if she is to have this relationship with you she must treat you right. If she knows there is a possibility to get dumped, she will stick with you.
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
skip2mylou781
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squirrels
Master Don Juan
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As long as we're drudging up old metaphors, let's beat 'em to death too.skip2mylou781 said:
First of all, no man should have a fragile heart. A man's heart should be big and tough, able to take a beating and still love. The only way you build it up is like any other muscle...exercise. So you want to build your heart up to take rejection from 9.5s, you gotta get out there and date more of them. You've already proven you CAN do it. I'm in the same place you are, man. Just gotta do. Fall down seven times, stand up eight.
Second of all, your heart is YOURS. Even if you DO give it to a woman, it's only hers to hold. It still belongs to you. She gets to enjoy the benefits of the love it gives as long as she treats it right. If she doesn't, you take it BACK and find someone who WILL treat it right. If she knows she can take it without ever being called on to give it back, she will disregard it and abuse it.
Third of all, if you want a woman to desire your heart (your love), then it needs to be something precious. You want a special woman? You have to be a special man. There's no way around this...you have to improve YOU.
skip2mylou781
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you would think I would learn seeing as i have dated and had my heart broken FIVE times in the last 3 years by an hb7, hb9, hb8, hb9, and now this one.........its always the same ending, i seem to be helpless no matter how much experience I have, as i always end up with the broken heart due to not protecting it enough
squirrels
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You can give a girl love without giving up your heart. Do that first until she proves herself worthy.skip2mylou781 said:
skip2mylou781
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"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
MacAvoy
Banned
Just came across this. The reason why I love it is because he doesn't say DON'T LOVE, but he says take the lead in loving and don't accept any less than you give.Anti-Dump said:
MacAvoy
Banned
There is nothing to be sad about. In 5 years, your going to have guys bumping threads that were posted today, tomorrow, next week and saying I wish that guy was still around.JLR said:
You have the mentality that causes people to miss their ex's and want to go back to them. Because you view the past as so rosey instead of focussing on making your future rosey.
ps I just wanted to bump this great post again so you can ignore what I said above.
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
bump*As long as we're drudging up old metaphors, let's beat 'em to death too.
First of all, no man should have a fragile heart. A man's heart should be big and tough, able to take a beating and still love. The only way you build it up is like any other muscle...exercise. So you want to build your heart up to take rejection from 9.5s, you gotta get out there and date more of them. You've already proven you CAN do it. I'm in the same place you are, man. Just gotta do. Fall down seven times, stand up eight.
Second of all, your heart is YOURS. Even if you DO give it to a woman, it's only hers to hold. It still belongs to you. She gets to enjoy the benefits of the love it gives as long as she treats it right. If she doesn't, you take it BACK and find someone who WILL treat it right. If she knows she can take it without ever being called on to give it back, she will disregard it and abuse it.
Third of all, if you want a woman to desire your heart (your love), then it needs to be something precious. You want a special woman? You have to be a special man. There's no way around this...you have to improve YOU.
LuksSkywalker
Don Juan
This couldn't be more true than it already is. Take it from me. As soon as I feel great with a girl, these words start to jump out of my mouth. And what happens? In the beginning they like it and reply with same entusiasm as you but after some time if you use it too often it just becomes a phrase.
- I love you.
- I love you too.
No love in these words. Just a bunch of letters formed in a sentence. It becomes like a greeting.
- Hi (i love you)
- Hi (i love you too)
Beware if before going to bed you start saying "I love you".
- Good night, sleep well, see you tomorrow, love you.
Day in, day out. This means you're stuck in a routine (of saying I love you) and if it becomes a routine, it's no longer genuine.
No need to tell your gf everything that's going on in your mind. Keep things to yourself. Love is showed 90% of the time, no need to say it 90% of the time.