Proposal Etiquette

[Bonhomme]

In fact the best practice is to buy the ring, keep it in the little box, and then propose. If she accepts, open the box, if not NEVER show her the ring.

Direct hit.

Regarding your question, Iqqi...

If in private, tell the truth, whether it be "yes," "no," or "not at this time."

If it's a public proposal, a "no" could make you look bad and would most certainly make him look like an ass, but I wouldn't discourage it: I think one who proposes in public is an ass anyway, unless it's something extreme and he's sure of the answer, like the Boise State game.

But I could understand why one might say "yes" in public, and give back the ring/nix the proposal later in private.

 

[ketostix]

I bet I know where iqqi got the bright idea for this thread. It was a hoax at a NBA game: http://sports.aol.com/photos/hoaxes. Iqqi probably thought it was real. Just goes to show she never has an original thought and how gullible she is .

 

[Bonhomme]

Pretty obsessed with Iqqi, eh?

 

[ketostix]

Pretty obsessed with Iqqi, eh?

DHV reframe and she didn't even have to say it for herself.

 

[iqqi]

Because it is obvious, my darling Keto.

 

[pipeman84]

If you are planning on proposing, always buy the ring yourself. NEVER offer to allow a woman to choose her own wedding ring, NEVER. There is no greater AFC move in the history of AFCness than a guy accompanying his fiancé to the jewelry store where she gleefully sifts through tens of thousands of dollars worth of jewelry. Rest assured, that ring isn't a symbol of your undying love and devotion, it's about showing it off to her girlfriends.

I don't get it, why is it an AFC move to let the woman choose the ring? (within a specified budget of course). I mean, she's the one who's going to wear it and what better way to make sure she likes it than her choosing it herself?

 

[BackInTheGame78]

If any of you ever got to the point where you asked a girl to marry you (and I know some of you have already), how would you want the girl to react if she wasn't sure?

If the proposal was elaborate and really thought out, would you want her to say yes if it was not a for sure no, even if she wasn't sure?

If you aren't 99.99% sure she is going to say yes, ie, as sure as you could possibly be about something without controlling her answer you shouldn't ask.

If she hasn't ready brought this up to you then I wouldn't do it...woman will let you know of they are thinking that way well before a guy proposes

 

[Aristippus]

I've always felt like proposing should be something you do in private when you're alone with your woman. It's something private between you and her. Asking in public creates undue social pressure for her to say yes and the goal isn't necessarily to get a yes. It's to get a sincere answer. A sincere no is better than an insincere yes.

Like BackInTheGame said, you should already be 99.99% sure she will say yes before proposing. Marriage should be her idea first. Women will usually tell you directly or indirectly that they want marriage. And usually they'll mention it repeatedly at different times in conversation.

I remember before we got married that my then fiance insisted that I call her my wife. In fact, she was calling me her husband before I'd even proposed to her and I was calling her my wife. So the question for me wasn't whether or not she would say yes but whether or not I should propose or get married.