"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Proper approach for bench

anonymous12345

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I currently bench 90 kg (200 lb), no spotter but I have guards that function well. Other workouts I do for instance ring support hold, to variate.

I notice my form doesn’t go all the way down. Hence my shoulders are stressed but my biceps aren’t fully. How do I get to proper form? Hypotheses:
  1. Deload and make perfect
  2. Continue on same weight but go all the way until absolute failure. Fail reps, sets and workouts until capable.
I lean on 2. Of course one can make it right on a trivial weight, the crux is to grow. This question is essentially about how to surpass one’s plateau.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Deranged

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Ditch the guards if you can, if they are preventing full range of motion. Never put bar locks on if lifting solo so you can teeter drop the weights off the bar if you fail.
Make sure your form is absolutely perfect (Shoulders shrug Up, Back, Down), so 1. Deload and make perfect.
I reluctantly did this when I hit 100kg. I was so proud but couldn't get past 2 reps. I reluctantly went back to the drawing board and decided to improve my form with pushups and isolated light weight chest exercises for 3 months. My form became Perfect. I thought I would have to start back lower weight and work back up to 100kg. Instead what happened was I could now rep 100kg for 8. I was blown away how taking a step back was so beneficial. Fuking ego.
 

BackInTheGame78

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Stop flat benching. It's a shoulder issue waiting to happen. Puts your body in a physiologically bad position.

Decline is much safer for your shoulders.
 

Murk

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Go down to 85-87.5kg - perfect the movement - up the reps progressively for 1-2 weeks with perfect form - go back up to 100kg and see if any improvement.

Going heavy with bad form is how injuries happen. Much better to do lighter higher rep with good form.
 

Robert28

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Stop flat benching. It's a shoulder issue waiting to happen. Puts your body in a physiologically bad position.

Decline is much safer for your shoulders.
Dumbbell press, dumbbell incline, flat dumbbell flys, incline dumbbell flys, I never bench anymore. I also do regular pushups and decline push-ups if I’m not burnt out from 4x15 of all the dumbbell stuff I mentioned. Benching kills my shoulders from years of doing it.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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BackInTheGame78

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Dumbbell press, dumbbell incline, flat dumbbell flys, incline dumbbell flys, I never bench anymore. I also do regular pushups and decline push-ups if I’m not burnt out from 4x15 of all the dumbbell stuff I mentioned. Benching kills my shoulders from years of doing it.
Weighted dips are also very good and much safer for your shoulders. Used to use a dip belt for that and loop thru the hole in the middle of the plate.
 

BackInTheGame78

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Go down to 85-87.5kg - perfect the movement - up the reps progressively for 1-2 weeks with perfect form - go back up to 100kg and see if any improvement.

Going heavy with bad form is how injuries happen. Much better to do lighter higher rep with good form.
Benching can and will injure you eventually even with perfect form. And shoulder injuries are not something you want to be dealing with because they tend to never fully go away.

At the very least I would recommend doing prehab exercises prior to doing it to lessen the chance of shoulder issues like Dynamic Blackburns, YMCA's, etc
 
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Murk

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Benching can and will injure you eventually even with perfect form. And shoulder injuries are not something you want to be dealing with because they tend to never fully go away.

At the very least I would recommend doing prehab exercises prior to doing it to lessen the chance of shoulder issues like Dynamic Blackburns, YMCA's, etc
I've heard a couple of sets of dead hangs for 30-60 secs are great for the back and shoulders. I usually incorporate some dead hangs before my push/pull workouts.
 
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