"Professional Ladies" and wanting men to pay for everything

[guru1000]

What's wrong with my answer? I'm supposed to say what? Do tell.

They were just sizing you up.

Depends on what you are looking for. If just a fvck and toss, then tell them you help retarded children. If for a relation and you were not earning more, not worth your time, and so irrelevant..

 

[RickTheToad]

They were just sizing you up.

Depends on what you are looking for. If just a fvck and toss, then tell them you help retarded children. If for a relation and you were not earning more, not worth your time, and so irrelevant..

Was thinking that, but it seems a means to an end. It would be nice to have something steady with on or two ladies, but it seems things go haywire or they start their demands around the 3 month mark. I, of course, say no or can't do it, and then we part ways. I feel like dating these ladies is becoming redundant with the continued rinse and wash routine. I notice many seem not to be on birth control, which concerns me as well. The last one we had a condom break three freaken times. It was a rollercoaster for me. These ladies are younger, so it is even of greater concern. There are two other ladies, one 26 and the other one 28 too. Do ladies in the Bridgeport / Westchester New York area no longer use birth control? TBH, I can count on a one hand how many actually used the pill or an IUD. All others was the condom.

 

[guru1000]

Was thinking that, but it seems a means to an end. It would be nice to have something steady with on or two ladies, but it seems things go haywire or they start their demands around the 3 month mark. I, of course, say no or can't do it, and then we part ways. I feel like dating these ladies is becoming redundant with the continued rinse and wash routine. I notice many seem not to be on birth control, which concerns me as well. The last one we had a condom break three freaken times. It was a rollercoaster for me. These ladies are younger, so it is even of greater concern. There are two other ladies, one 26 and the other one 28 too. Do ladies in the Bridgeport / Westchester New York area no longer use birth control? TBH, I can count on a one hand how many actually used the pill or an IUD. All others was the condom.

My opinion is you need to just chill out and just enjoy things. Enjoy their company, enjoy the dating process, enjoy meeting new people, laugh at their expense, tease them, make fun of them, laugh at your own jokes. Just make the process enjoyable for YOU.

This way it will no longer feel like a chore, but more Importantly you relinquish all needs other than a good time.

I went on a first date last night with a young one, 21 years my junior. I did all the talking at her expense and had a good time laughing at my own jokes at her expense lol. Truth was I barely even knew she was there as I was just having a good time amusing myself. This is the ultimate level to be at; that is, enjoy the process regardless of who is in front of you.

 

[Ranger]

Hardly. I have little patience for attitudes like this.

Well I wasn’t getting on you. Lol
She has to say stuff that that to bag a provider, right?
They say stuff like that all the time. It’s just words.

 

[steelpulse]

Went on some other dates with these ladies. The only thing they have to bring to the table is their looks. Two of them, right off the bat during drinks, said they are looking for a man to take care of them. Vacations, home, children, have the option not to work, etc. One was a doctor, the other was a principal at a school. The doc was 34, the principal was 37. One a Jewish lady, the other a Catholic one. Is this a CT/NY thing nowadays? Both, yes, both asked what my living situation was and salary. I just replied, by myself and I get by quite fine. They had no issues telling me they make over six figures. I said, good to know. I always try to steer the convos to happy and fun things, some how it always segments to $$$ and what they want to do in their life. I was tempted to say staying at home, getting fat by eating bon bons is not something to do in life.

This is the age when women's looks start to take a nosedive. However, some retain some degree of youthful beauty. This is their last desperate gasp to find a provider. Don't even think they have that many options. If they did, they wouldn't be putting all their cards on the table like this. Don't be a sucker. Hit it and quit it.

 

[steelpulse]

I still tend to fall into this trap:
34y old friend of mine I see once or twice during the year - she is used to being paid for in resto's, I pay for her once a year hoping she will allow me to phuck her one day (she has this innocent look i love in women) but she is a gold digger really and think I'm below her SMV right now (she is wrong as her character is terrible and men spot it ASAP so they try to blizphuck her but she resists and tries to get a nice guy with ****load of money)

BUT.... I still pay for her from time to time (weak I know, but I want to get into her ***** eventually playing white knight from time to time). Low priority target, but still someone should slap me through my face. Her butt is just so nice.

My last 29y old target - she expected to be paid on the spot. Didn't work out with her (also overinvested)

I just posted on this exact topic a couple of days ago. It's kind of eery. What's strange is that you know they are stringing you along and you still allow it. Break the habit. Walk away:

https://www.sosuave.net/forum/threa...le-and-why-thats-not-bad.256101/#post-2611460

 

[steelpulse]

That's awesome Mark! Despite all the trolling (some of it hilarious), you can use this forum as a sounding board and get back on the proper path which is exactly what you've done. Rock on!

 

[RickTheToad]

I still tend to fall into this trap:
34y old friend of mine I see once or twice during the year - she is used to being paid for in resto's, I pay for her once a year hoping she will allow me to phuck her one day (she has this innocent look i love in women) but she is a gold digger really and think I'm below her SMV right now (she is wrong as her character is terrible and men spot it ASAP so they try to blizphuck her but she resists and tries to get a nice guy with ****load of money)

BUT.... I still pay for her from time to time (weak I know, but I want to get into her ***** eventually playing white knight from time to time). Low priority target, but still someone should slap me through my face. Her butt is just so nice.

My last 29y old target - she expected to be paid on the spot. Didn't work out with her (also overinvested)

It works best if you pay on the first date, second is something like a walk or something relatively cheap (like walk + foodtruck or cinema+dessert) so you should still pay, and third is like a finale of you paying (resto is great) after that you can stick to something cheaper to check if she will open her wallet (it works).

Women that expect to be paid for after date no 3 - that is also since date no.4 - are a gold diggers or status-hunters (quite similar but not entirely, status hunter is interested bit more in your status than money)

Gold digger is a NO NO NO unless really hot - then she might be good for STR if you can manage the financial aspect of the relationship (it's above my possibilities),

Status Hunter - usually attractive MD's, lawyers, managers etc. - they are dangerous, because they are interested in your power but it doesn't mean that they won't get fun behing your back (I'd say any red flag that shows Status Hunter ability to lie very well or be malevolent or violent in mental way should be a reason for you to eject Iron Eagle style.)

Also Gold Diggers are better in bed and usually hotter. Status Hunters are more sexually twisted, smarter, not as sexy in visual aspect but often very sexy due to their behaviour.

No disrespect, but you are acting a bit needy with this one. Believe me she knows you want to fvck her. Back away and don't look back. You're wasting your time and money. Only thing you could attempt to do is invite her over to your place, make a nice meal, a nice bottle of wine, some nice kino and make your move with confidence. That last part is key. The ladies can smell desperation from a mile a way. Continue to do this until you're inside her or just get tired of the pursuit. I wouldn't bother dude. No pvssy is worth this attack on your self respect. Again, she knows what you're after. Don't be a beta orbiter.

This is the age when women's looks start to take a nosedive. However, some retain some degree of youthful beauty. This is their last desperate gasp to find a provider. Don't even think they have that many options. If they did, they wouldn't be putting all their cards on the table like this. Don't be a sucker. Hit it and quit it.

I do not have a problem attracting ladies, it's that I do not like traveling far; that's my issue. I am in Bridgeport, CT, I'd like to stay within the 20 minute radius, so that knocks out NYC, Stamford, Norwalk and Danbury. Though, once I open up to those areas, I have ladies wanting to meet me. One wants to meet for drinks in Manhattan near her apt on W. 68th street. It's just very expensive to get down there. All in all, 100 bucks or so just for a drink.

These two ladies are very attractive. The 37 Y.O, is a former Ms. Connecticut. She didn't relay this information, I found it out by getting her information through a Google search lookup. She's drop dead gorgeous. The last one I dated with a few threads was also, for her age, very attractive as she works out 3 - 4 times a week and watches what she eats. I just didn't agree in taking care of her and paying for everything, so we weren't a good match. She did want to keep me around and hang out, where everyone said I should keep her, but I didn't like the downgrade of fvck buddy from relationship. I need to work on not developing feelings for them.. I am working on that. I guess I still look at ladies as genuine people and want to treat them like I expect to be treated. That, unfortunately, doesn't work in the dating world.

 

[RickTheToad]

Well I wasn’t getting on you. Lol
She has to say stuff that that to bag a provider, right?
They say stuff like that all the time. It’s just words.

I know, but for them, I see through their actions. I recall another one who, during Halloween wanted to get a maids uniform, but it was 50 bucks and I didn't buy it for her. The next day she went to the store and purchased it. She took pics in it and said she'd bring it over, she never did. I asked her why back in December, she said because you wouldn't buy it for me. Unreal. I make a good living, not rich by any means (65k a year), but my BS meter is always on full alert. It seems all ladies want nowadays is for a man to take care of them and pay for everything. I refuse to play this game. I have a concern that I will have many STRs, but nothing real. Ultimately, I'll be alone. I seem to get attention from ladies, so it's not my looks, but I just don't know. I am in excellent shape; aside from the kidney stone experience, so I'll be around for a while. I just wish I wasn't looked at just a wallet. No, I do not look at ladies as just sex, however, if that is what they seem to only bring to the table, what else is a man supposed to consider?

 

[steelpulse]

Bridgeport, 160K, probably lots of old money, lots of connections to New York and Washington. This looks like a good area to date.

Manhattan 60 miles away. Far enough away to be inconvenient, close enough to be tempting.

I hope you get people closer to you to assess your situation I can only guess what's going on in the conn. area.

 

[RickTheToad]

...

Bridgeport, 160K, probably lots of old money, lots of connections to New York and Washington. This looks like a good area to date.

Manhattan 60 miles away. Far enough away to be inconvenient, close enough to be tempting.

I hope you get people closer to you to assess your situation I can only guess what's going on in the conn. area.

Most of Bridgeport is a dump aside from the North End and Black Rock. I'm in the North End. However, Black Rock does have a lot of $$$. I am considering going into the city and expanding into Norwalk and Stamford as well. Obviously, I'm not doing that well around Bridgeport. Though, some ladies find out I'm 28 miles away (from Stamford) and apparently I'm too far. I think the biggest problem is that ladies (and I am sure some men too) are just too entitled and do not want to travel far. What I've done to circumvent this is suggest we meet up in Stamford or Norwalk. Some take me up on it, some don't. I usually always make out with them on the first date, but they always stop me from going back to their place. It seems they distinctively wait until the third date. Two of them were DTF on the first or second date, but I wasn't really attracted to them, so I declined.

I've improved my looks by the following:

Lost 45 LBS
Bought new threads as my XL sized shirts no longer fit. I am now a medium, sometimes large. I picked up slim or extra slim fit shirts as well.
Tailored my pants and jeans to bring them in from a size 32 to a size 38
Picked up some new Italian shoes and boots from Nordstrom Rack.
Though, I like my Android watch, I picked up a used SS Rolex from a jewelry store w. papers. I traded in a few of my older watches and didn't have to pay much for it. It really looks nice, though, I miss my Android black watch when I am not wearing it. I like simple things, but it seems we need to dress up to get the attention from the ladies. Dating was much easier and I didn't have to do all of this **** in my 20s.

 

[Spaz]

Rick, not all people operate rationally nor do they make rational decisions as you obviously do.

There are many women who could ill afford to buy the latest iPhone or the latest LV handbag, yet would end up irrationally making the decision to buy it on credit.

And they would rather suffer not having a proper meal for a whole month or even 3 months just to satisfy their urge to have those items.

You need to evoke the same kind of emotions in a woman to make her want you.

1st you need to take ur rational thoughts, dump it in a dumpster and just let loose when it comes to women.

Be fun, take risks, do something irrational and out of the ordinary.

Be bold.

 

[RickTheToad]

Rick, not all people operate rationally nor do they make rational decisions as you obviously do.

There are many women who could ill afford to buy the latest iPhone or the latest LV handbag, yet would end up irrationally making the decision to buy it on credit.

And they would rather suffer not having a proper meal for a whole month or even 3 months just to satisfy their urge to have those items.

You need to evoke the same kind of emotions in a woman to make her want you.

1st you need to take ur rational thoughts, dump it in a dumpster and just let loose when it comes to women.

Be fun, take risks, do something irrational and out of the ordinary.

Be bold.

Easier said than done. I grew up dirt poor and supported myself for the last 21 years. It's effected the way I operate my life. I've tried to not be as rational and just take it as it comes, but it's very difficult. It's one of the reasons why when a lady wants me to pay for everything I get very frustrated and just leave. No arguments, no fighting. I just say you got the wrong dude and later. I do not think any man should have to pay for everything for a ladies company. I have no problem with paying for drinks, dinner (after we fvck) or an event, but I draw the line in paying for everything. It makes me feel like I'm a chump and being taken advantage of. One could come back and say it's the type of ladies you met. I've gotten this from well off ladies and middle class ladies. It seems I am between a rock and a hard place. True, it's nice to get sex from a new lady, but this rinse and repeat type of lifestyle gets redundant. It's annoying.

I take risks all the time. I skydive, rock climb, para-sail, race, competition fight in MMA (pre-kidney op). I do miss the MMA. I hope I'll be cleared to go back in six months. I'm in my zone with mixed martial arts, but ladies, it's mind numbing having to juggle and change them up every 3 months or so.

 

[Spaz]

Easier said than done. I grew up dirt poor and supported myself for the last 21 years. It's effected the way I operate my life. I've tried to not be as rational and just take it as it comes, but it's very difficult.

Do it slowly. Take baby steps towards that end.

Take down those mental barriers you're put up to protect yourself.

Trust in your ability to bounce back when you're been hurt.

It's one of the reasons why when a lady wants me to pay for everything I get very frustrated and just leave. No arguments, no fighting. I just say you got the wrong dude and later. I do not think any man should have to pay for everything for a ladies company. I have no problem with paying for drinks, dinner (after we fvck) or an event, but I draw the line in paying for everything. It makes me feel like I'm a chump and being taken advantage of.

I seriously pay for everything on a date. In fact I will insist and would take offence when a woman insists to pay her part.

This is not about her but it's about me and my manhood. It's my standard and that sets my reputation.

Plenty of women have taken advantage of my generosity at 1st but as time passes by they come to realise it's not about me trying to buy my way into their panties.

It's far from it and then when they finally get it, they can't help but admire me.

And when that happens, every single one of those women "pays" me back far more then a mere dinner or drinks would cost.

And it's not just with women, it's with everyone I come into contact with during dinner or drinks.

The payback is diverse - a genuine smile, a genuine offer to pay for the next date which I will decline, an opening of their hearts towards me etc. The list is endless in my favor.

How could I possibly be a chump when I end up a winner ?

Do you see the difference in how we think, that influences how we do things and the different results we both get ?

But this is just the start. There's lots more social hurdles you need to overcome.

Take baby steps forward until you're learn to walk.

Do this and then report back.

I will assist you with how to communicate - handle women's wants and needs after you're done what I've mentioned.

 

[Ranger]

And they would rather suffer not having a proper meal for a whole month or even 3 months just to satisfy their urge to have those items.

They will feed their kids garbage and hotdogs to get hip things. Go in debt and then claim she isn’t getting enough child support or alimony.
She is so solipsistic about her immidiate wants and needs that she will wreck her entire family.
Only a man can hold her level and true.

 

[RickTheToad]

Do it slowly. Take baby steps towards that end.

Take down those mental barriers you're put up to protect yourself.

Trust in your ability to bounce back when you're been hurt.



I seriously pay for everything on a date. In fact I will insist and would take offence when a woman insists to pay her part.

This is not about her but it's about me and my manhood. It's my standard and that sets my reputation.

Plenty of women have taken advantage of my generosity at 1st but as time passes by they come to realise it's not about me trying to buy my way into their panties.

It's far from it and then when they finally get it, they can't help but admire me.

And when that happens, every single one of those women "pays" me back far more then a mere dinner or drinks would cost.

And it's not just with women, it's with everyone I come into contact with during dinner or drinks.

The payback is diverse - a genuine smile, a genuine offer to pay for the next date which I will decline, an opening of their hearts towards me etc. The list is endless in my favor.

How could I possibly be a chump when I end up a winner ?

Do you see the difference in how we think, that influences how we do things and the different results we both get ?

But this is just the start. There's lots more social hurdles you need to overcome.

Take baby steps forward until you're learn to walk.

Do this and then report back.

I will assist you with how to communicate - handle women's wants and needs after you're done what I've mentioned.

So you never expect a lady to pay for anything? When you go on vacation, you pay for everything? Would you pay for their Uber? I draw the line on the later two. It's something I cannot allow myself to be taken advantage of as a wallet. I've seen it all too much where ladies take advantage of free drinks and events. With no skin in the game, they have nothing to lose.

 

[Spaz]

So you never expect a lady to pay for anything? When you go on vacation, you pay for everything? Would you pay for their Uber? I draw the line on the later two. It's something I cannot allow myself to be taken advantage of as a wallet. I've seen it all too much where ladies take advantage of free drinks and events. With no skin in the game, they have nothing to lose.

Relax Rick.

Allow me to explain away your worries of being a chump.

If I invited her out for a vacation then yes I will pay for it. You don't invite a woman for a vacation when you have no intention of paying do you ?

And when I'm too busy or lazy to fetch her then I'll offer to pay for her Uber ride.

She'll then feel not taken advantage off wouldn't she ?

Her dignity as a woman will then be safeguarded by you.

By doing so I'm communicating that i place value on her time and willingness to spend it with me.

That's doesn't equate me as a chump.

That communicates that I'm a man who has high standards when it comes to treating women or people in general.

Edit: In this scenario I still end up the winner and not a chump.

 

[Spaz]

They will feed their kids garbage and hotdogs to get hip things. Go in debt and then claim she isn’t getting enough child support or alimony.
She is so solipsistic about her immidiate wants and needs that she will wreck her entire family.
Only a man can hold her level and true.

Unfortunately that's true.

Which is why both men and women has often said that women are fickle minded.

But we'll get into the topic of women's wants and needs.

It's an important topic to discuss, perhaps even debate on but it's relevance towards this thread will be paramount in solving OP's problems.

But in order for this to work he 1st must do as I mentioned earlier.

He must think as I do to influence how he does things - during dates.

 

[Spaz]

I did the financial calculation on my dates (no LTR just one STR and couple loose ties) and it appeared that it was 100% cheaper for me to order a hooker.

I have good salary but this ratio for 'a nookie' was simply unacceptable for me.

Sure, if you have passive source of income, good job, nothing else to do aside of job and hitting a gym then your success ratio and $ per phuck ratio will look much better but for ordinary, hard working guy, it's just one big MEH, I agree on that.

Watch and learn in this thread.

This applies to you too Mark.

I know you have a keen mind, open it further and open up the possibilities.

Don't limit yourself just yet.

For now play along.

 

[logicallefty]

I’m surprised they didn’t tell you how “independent” they are and then follow it up with “I live with my parents due to X,Y,Z not my fault bla bla bla”. Earlier in 2018 I had several dates with women who did exactly this. Just because a woman makes good money like a doctor or school principal doesn’t mean she can manage it well. Some of these women who have good jobs also have so much debt that they can’t possibly live on their own.

The best one I had was the one who said she made about 70 K in the medical field. But was living with her parents because the court ordered her to pay her soon to be ex-husband alimony!! I was about ready to laugh so hard I could hardly control myself when she told me that story while we were sitting at Buffalo Wild Wings on our first ( and last) date.