Problems with gf of 45 days

[asid12345678]

Im gonna keep this as simple as possible since the situation is quite complicated . But I really need some help here .
I'm 19 , freshman , dating this chinese girl who's a virgin , shes 18 .
Sexually we've gone pretty far for her standards and we did stuff she has never with any other guy , like getting her vagina touched , fingering me , etc etc.
Today we had this fight and I want you guys to tell me what I should do about this . She usually gets really jealous of me hanging out with other girls so I was going out with one of my homies and I lied to her that this girl that she hates came along with my friend and went out with us . And when I got back , I texted her that I was back and she was like 'I'm in so and so place , can you come ? ' and I said no I'm with my friend and the girl , so she shouldn't wait for me. And then I told her im dropping the girl back to her hall . She got really mad and was like ive been waiting her for so long and I waited for you even after you asked me not to and blah blah blah . I was like , okay whatever .
And then later she sent me these really texts ''You have time to go out to eat, flirt with other girl and walk her back to her hall yet you don't have any time for your girl friend who's been waitibg for you and went back to her hall because you told her to and said you are gonna meet up
waiting
''. Then we did meet cuz she kept calling me and had an argument , we kept arguing about this at mc.d for like an hour and in the end , just to end it , cuz she said like the same **** 20 times, i said im sorry for ''choosing' that girl over you since thats what she felt . and then she started to kiss me and after that out of nowhere she started arguing about something else and was like 'you should tell me about your plans more to avoid arguments like these' ,'im not like you exes , we're a big part of each others lives' , again I was fukin annoyed but didn't exactly want her to have her way so I said , we could have avoided the fight if you told me u were gonna wait for me anyways which u didn't so u should tell me about your plans too (which she kinda already does , without me asking) . After this , we made out for like an hour and talked about sexual stuff and i just got back to my room .
My main question is , since the night didn't end so bad , was the apology worth it ? Or did I somehow give her 'power' by doing this ? thoughts?

 

[asid12345678]

just wanna add in something .
usually ..actually most of the time , its her asking me what my plan is for the day , or what im doing at the moment , i usually dont ask her what shes upto or where she is . I do it because I dont wanna look desperate in this relationship , do you think that should change ?

 

[apprenticedj]

Seems intense for a 45 day relationship, bad signs for the future for sure. Next time she gets fired up just step back and walk away, ignore her for a bit and then give it to her straight. "I'm 19 years old, we've only been together for 45 days and already we fight too often. I don't need the drama." Just like that, matter of fact. Of course she's going to try to drag you into another 4 hour fight but don't play along. Tell her you got to go and then you WAIT until she contacts you again. Judging by her behaviour so far she'll be apologizing up a storm! Let her and when she goes back to her high school drama ways just repeat the above steps. But really my friend you need to be tapping that ASAP!

 

[Downtown DJ]

Your girlfriend of 45 days fingers you?

 

[mustfirstregister]

A real man always put gf over others. Otherwise what is the point of having a gf. Unless you are in a fb relationship. gf/bf means exclusivity, you should respect her and she should be the core. You dont have a gf to treat her like crap. e.g. I treat my gf like a queen, I'm always there for her and that doesn't mean I'm a AFC.

 

[HyperAnalyze]

First off,

No man should feel threatened by his girlfriend when hanging out with other women, otherwise she is highly insecure.

Next time tell her that you don't tolerate that kind of behavior and if she has a problem with it she's just going to have to suck it up. Otherwise you start falling into her FRAME which leads you into HER rules.

You should be able to hang out with any other person/friend group granted you are being faithful.

 

[Skyline]

I agree with Hyper.

You already made plans and you told her that. Keep your frame and don't let her control you just for her golden "virgin" pvssy. As for the apology? I would of said:

"I didn't mean to make you feel like you were being neglected but you also have to understand that my friends are MY friends and aren't going anywhere especially when i already promised to make plans with them."

Her response should be irrelevant as i already set the boundary and would have walked away. Also, don't argue. Especially in anger. Lay down the law and if she doesnt agree or meet you halfway then you walk. And for asking how she is etc. dont ask her what/how shes doing because you're too busy. Girls do this its normal.

 

[HyperAnalyze]

I agree with Hyper.

You already made plans and you told her that. Keep your frame and don't let her control you just for her golden "virgin" pvssy. As for the apology? I would of said:

"I didn't mean to make you feel like you were being neglected but you also have to understand that my friends are MY friends and aren't going anywhere especially when i already promised to make plans with them."

Her response should be irrelevant as i already set the boundary and would have walked away. Also, don't argue. Especially in anger. Lay down the law and if she doesnt agree or meet you halfway then you walk. And for asking how she is etc. dont ask her what/how shes doing because you're too busy. Girls do this its normal.

Absolutely, you also need to make sure if she does start to freak out, b***h or put the relationship on the line, you need to keep your composure. Be FIRM, be a MAN and most importantly believe on your own VALUES. You shouldn't need to feel threatened. She will soon understand that you are a person grounded in your own reality and isn't easily swayed by the needs of others. Be strong.

 

[Ripley Fitzroy]

I think you have to learn how to compromise on certain things and be open to trying new things.

 

[Atom Smasher]

You're reaping the result of lying (apparently you lied and this other girl wasn't even with you and your friend) and also of being overly manipulation-minded.

Once this blows over I would tone down the "techniques" and manipulations and relate to her on a more honest level.

Apart from that, all you need to say to a girl when she feels hurt is "In understand how you feel". She doesn't want an apology per se, but rather an acknowledgment of her feelings. That's what I always say instead of an outright apology.

 

[asid12345678]

But for real guys , this girl confuses me . I am seriously considering to get rid of her . We just had dinner with 3 of her high school mates who are in the same university , one of them being a senior she admitted she had feelings for before we started going out . And after the dinner , there's this supermarket right next to the store , I went in cuz i told her i wanted to buy some **** and i was like hey ill go get my toothpaste . and I expected her to stay , and I came back like 30 seconds later and she was gone. Clearly with that guy because she was telling she wanted to go back to her hall before coming to the library where we meet every night and she said that the guy was going back to his hall too .
But anyways , there's nothing sexual between them , but you think I should play this cool, the her just leaving without telling me part ? because personally I wouldn't do that to her .

 

[asid12345678]

A real man always put gf over others. Otherwise what is the point of having a gf. Unless you are in a fb relationship. gf/bf means exclusivity, you should respect her and she should be the core. You dont have a gf to treat her like crap. e.g. I treat my gf like a queen, I'm always there for her and that doesn't mean I'm a AFC.

Thought one of the 'rules' is , never treat her like a goddess ?