Now what to do. Well for one thing stop the bitc.hing. You are only reinforcing her idea that you are the dream killer in the relationship. You will only drive her out faster by giving her ultimatums.
give your wife some space and room to move. No use keeping her caged if she was only going to run off anyway. As hard as it is keep positive - don't whine or biatch about the situation to her, just hold a strong frame and let it unfold.
All you have to offer her at the moment is a jail sentence.
What did the ultimatum deliver?
Resentment on her part. Possible secrecy, which makes it even more naughty and exhilarating for her. She is lining you up as the enemy.
You are bargaining from a position of weakness. You have more or less become indistinguishable from the household furniture and just as disposable. Not only that but now if the relationship does break down you are now in a worse position. And further more you are in the wrong frame of mind to be making demands. You are scrambling and it is plain to see. You are doing what every man through the ages has done almost to the letter.
The best option I see for you right now.
Go find your wife say something along the lines of
"You are
my wife, I want you to be happy - if this is what you want then I trust you (maybe "but I don't trust other guys/ outside influences?)"
Maybe someone can rephrase it, cheese it down and add more commitment hooks in there.
This ain't to beta you out, it is to disarm her. Since you laid down the rules and demands (so she knows what you want), it's time to change her perception of you to lighter tones. Also you need to get out of your own combative mindset and calm the whole situation down. You pretty much have nothing further to lose so loosen your grip on her. If you have to demand and control a chick in this manner then in my opinion it is better to let go and let go of the stress.
It will happen again in the future. What are you going to do then?
You need to train her to be trustworthy or ensure she is already trustworthy. Caging someone only hides their true persona in these situations. Better to find out what hand you have been dealt. And if you have chosen well
Secondly if you are heading for divorce then at least you leave on better terms. Also you get more time to prepare yourself. You do not need to add more drama to your life right now.
The other thing you are doing is being too wrapped up in her world. Too worried about what she is doing, where she is, why she is late, or how she is being a bad mum, wife etc. I know it's easier said then done but suck it up. All it is doing is bringing you stress and creating that aura of negativity. And you know what.... Fu.ck all that $hit who cares at this moment. Go play with the kids, go be a dad, go show them how much you love them. All this other stuff is just bull$hit that passes us by. But what gets ingrained in children’s memories stays with them. Don't be that douche bag that seeks his wife’s love first while the kids wait for your attention. Trust me they notice.
Forget the upper hand the arguments the little snide remarks and all the rest.
Your jealousy is something you need to break for
you to progress.
Let your wife figure out what she is doing. You stick to the plan - no bit.ching or moaning, workout, be a good dad, get a life, work out what you want and make the steps.
Getting tired of typing/ Whatever else I said before.
