Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
try this little experiment, take your hands off the keyboard, put whatever is in your hands, if anything down, then take your right hand and place it in your crotch, feel around for a short while to se if you have any testicles? you do? good, thats a good start, it means you are a man, physically anyway.AlexHitchens said:Hello everyone! I'. having issues approaching women. I am scared to. I think too much about it and I always chicken out at the last minute. I'm tired of it! I'm 25 and still a virgin! I want to be good with women but I can't seem to get over my approach anxiety! It's so frustrating!! Can someone please tell me what they did to get rid of their approach anxiety?
Thank you!
Mike32ct said:Try talking to people that are physically close to you first.
It's much easier to turn your head and open the girls sitting next to you at the bar than walk clear across a large club and approach a strange group.
I never got AA to completely go away. It's just something to be managed.
lol... yeah when you put it like that approach anxiouty deosnt't seem so bad!betheman said:try this little experiment, take your hands off the keyboard, put whatever is in your hands, if anything down, then take your right hand and place it in your crotch, feel around for a short while to se if you have any testicles? you do? good, thats a good start, it means you are a man, physically anyway.
Im reading a book at the moment, 'To End all wars' about the first world war, the political and personal divisions and influences and the calamatous war which resulted. in it, the story of one battle is told, British infantry going over the top on the orders of General Haig (c unt), the British troops, 10,000 march in four columns towards the German lines, through no mans land. in front of them, impenetrable row upon row of barbed wire and beyond that, many many German machine guns (Haig didnt like machine guns, didnt like using them) within an hour, 8,000 lay dead many others wounded, one German machine gun fired over 12,500 rounds, the soldiers, boys aged 17 and up, never flinched, marched calmy and unifomedly toward almost certain death.
Now, getting back to your approach anxiety...
most of us have been there, the anxiety rarely completely goes away, we get too dependant on the outcome, its viewed as 'rejection'...of what? you approach a woman, you might not actually like her? when you are out next at a social gathering, look around at all the womne, seriously, how many of them would you spend more than a couple of days with? 10%? 20%? dont view it as rejection, you just dont do it for her, move on, the next one might. its pretty much a numbers game, juts dont build her up before you approach her, she isnt going to shoot youAlexHitchens said:OH ok, it sucks to hear that is never goes way, but will try that out thank you!
lol... yeah when you put it like that approach anxiouty deosnt't seem so bad!
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Yeah, been there.AlexHitchens said:Can someone please tell me what they did to get rid of their approach anxiety?
Amante Silvestre said:There's a pattern in your brain function where you automatically recall past experiences in order to deal with whatever it is you're about to engage in. In this particular case it's approaching a woman. There's a lot of proven science and big words that go with it, but it's pretty simple when you boil it down.
In short, your memory serves as your guide. And if it's not full of success with women, you're brain is essentially relying on past failure with women to handle the situation. So, it's pretty reasonable, and expected, that anxiety is going to be the main element in every attempt you make, with rejection being the most likely outcome. Anything else would be a surprise and very difficult to repeat.
I wrote some articles on this just recently, with some simple exercises you can begin to practice so that you can permanently correct this problem. It's called "Retraining Your Memory" and you'll find it on the first page of the Tips section.