Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
try this little experiment, take your hands off the keyboard, put whatever is in your hands, if anything down, then take your right hand and place it in your crotch, feel around for a short while to se if you have any testicles? you do? good, thats a good start, it means you are a man, physically anyway.AlexHitchens said:Hello everyone! I'. having issues approaching women. I am scared to. I think too much about it and I always chicken out at the last minute. I'm tired of it! I'm 25 and still a virgin! I want to be good with women but I can't seem to get over my approach anxiety! It's so frustrating!! Can someone please tell me what they did to get rid of their approach anxiety?
Thank you!
Mike32ct said:Try talking to people that are physically close to you first.
It's much easier to turn your head and open the girls sitting next to you at the bar than walk clear across a large club and approach a strange group.
I never got AA to completely go away. It's just something to be managed.
lol... yeah when you put it like that approach anxiouty deosnt't seem so bad!betheman said:try this little experiment, take your hands off the keyboard, put whatever is in your hands, if anything down, then take your right hand and place it in your crotch, feel around for a short while to se if you have any testicles? you do? good, thats a good start, it means you are a man, physically anyway.
Im reading a book at the moment, 'To End all wars' about the first world war, the political and personal divisions and influences and the calamatous war which resulted. in it, the story of one battle is told, British infantry going over the top on the orders of General Haig (c unt), the British troops, 10,000 march in four columns towards the German lines, through no mans land. in front of them, impenetrable row upon row of barbed wire and beyond that, many many German machine guns (Haig didnt like machine guns, didnt like using them) within an hour, 8,000 lay dead many others wounded, one German machine gun fired over 12,500 rounds, the soldiers, boys aged 17 and up, never flinched, marched calmy and unifomedly toward almost certain death.
Now, getting back to your approach anxiety...
most of us have been there, the anxiety rarely completely goes away, we get too dependant on the outcome, its viewed as 'rejection'...of what? you approach a woman, you might not actually like her? when you are out next at a social gathering, look around at all the womne, seriously, how many of them would you spend more than a couple of days with? 10%? 20%? dont view it as rejection, you just dont do it for her, move on, the next one might. its pretty much a numbers game, juts dont build her up before you approach her, she isnt going to shoot youAlexHitchens said:OH ok, it sucks to hear that is never goes way, but will try that out thank you!
lol... yeah when you put it like that approach anxiouty deosnt't seem so bad!
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Yeah, been there.AlexHitchens said:Can someone please tell me what they did to get rid of their approach anxiety?
Amante Silvestre said:There's a pattern in your brain function where you automatically recall past experiences in order to deal with whatever it is you're about to engage in. In this particular case it's approaching a woman. There's a lot of proven science and big words that go with it, but it's pretty simple when you boil it down.
In short, your memory serves as your guide. And if it's not full of success with women, you're brain is essentially relying on past failure with women to handle the situation. So, it's pretty reasonable, and expected, that anxiety is going to be the main element in every attempt you make, with rejection being the most likely outcome. Anything else would be a surprise and very difficult to repeat.
I wrote some articles on this just recently, with some simple exercises you can begin to practice so that you can permanently correct this problem. It's called "Retraining Your Memory" and you'll find it on the first page of the Tips section.