Problem: I act like I know someone too early

[gmm567]

Any one have that problem? What did you do about it?

A "natural" friend of mine told me that that was my problem with women.

When ever I meet someone, I am too open. My conversational threads are as if I know someone already. And, this, according to my "natural" friend kills things.

Any thoughts?

thanks

 

[JT47319]

Actually, ASSUMING rapport is a good thing. It eliminates awkwardness and the feeling that you're hitting on them (assuming that your style is indirect).

I suspect, however, that what your natural friend is alluding to is that you are not qualifying them or being too giving. In other words, you are giving them something FREE (ie friendship, humor, etc) without making them work for it. It's almost like buying a girl a drink when she hasn't earned it.

But in this case it's your time, stories, humor, etc.

Once the girl believes that you are "easy", there is no challenge for her to pursue and be pursued by you.

 

[affliction]

I think you need to be more specific about what you actually talk about, but from what I've heard, this is actually a good way to talk to girls. Of course, theory & practice are two totally different things, so who knows if it's really effective.

 

[crotchrocket]

It is GOOD to be comfortable around new people, they then naturally feel comfortable around you, however if you are doing something that is also diminishing sexual tension, THAT IS BAD, because as I'm sure we all know, without sexual tension you head straight into the friendzone.

 

[gmm567]

More info.

My friend and I talked some more. He even critiqued a letter
I was writing to this hot or not chick.

My letter was too rational and observational. Being insightful, I guess, is a disadvantage. Cause women don't have a brain.


My friend also thinks I am too geeky. He likes me, but he says I can come off that way. Also, after rewriting my letter, I realized he created some MYSTERY. When I told him that, he agreed; you need to create mystery.


It really helps to have a natural around who is direct and blunt with you. It's not true that the naturals can't verbalize what they do. It's jsut that they've probably never had to sit down and verbalize what they do.

Geoff