"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

(probably final) Update on LTR

TesuqueRed

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 30, 2001
Messages
1,852
Reaction score
7
Location
SF, US
I can agree with both iq and InLaws about their respective points. I've seen that deep down need for women to feel that you could protect them--even, without fail, from the toughest ball-breaking women I've met who never had need for someone to protect them (they could and would pull that trigger on thier own, thank you very much...)

And, like InLaws, I resented that burden that was placed on me in the past. Maybe he'll take issue with me interpreting "resentment' coming from his post, but that's the feeling I struggled with for so long with exactly those thoughts he used in his post.

Now--I dunno--it doesn't bother me anymore. I don't recall ever specifically addressing it (happened sometime after a year here), but I got over it. You be yourself (you know what I mean--"be a man" type of be yourself) and you can handle what comes your way, and she knows that--and can feel like you can "protect" her, which really means that you handle yourself.

An AFC can't handle himself, let alone her, let alone what comes his way...

To both iqqi and InLaws, I would say "yes."
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

Read more...

TesuqueRed

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 30, 2001
Messages
1,852
Reaction score
7
Location
SF, US
Getting side tracked here, but running along an extreme case of what InLaws kinda points out, I even ran into a girl or two (I won't call these specific cases 'women') who would set up a situation where there would be conflict between you and some other guy--a conflict over her--just to see if you would step in and protect her. You could feel the game set-up and manipulation! It's a real fvcked up test, IMO--which, I think Transactional Analysis would label as the "how about you and him fight" game.

Needless to say, they got next'd 15 seconds into the test (game). That shyt I never did get over.
 

KarmaSutra

Banned
Joined
Oct 13, 2005
Messages
4,818
Reaction score
142
Age
53
Location
Padron Reserve maduro in hand while finishing my b
MetalFortress said:
Bump, to show those who did not see it years ago, that no matter how much outer game you build, it doesn't matter if you're not truly working on becoming a better person. The outer game will crumble away and reveal what's inside.

Well played sir. :up:
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

Read more...

Top