"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

Proactive Approach to Potential Drama

logicallefty

Moderator
Joined
Apr 26, 2006
Messages
6,000
Reaction score
5,151
Age
52
Location
Northeast Florida, USA
Tried this new proactive tactic and it seems to have worked like I wanted.

This HB I am seeing texts me last night

HB: "You won't believe this. I am the founder of a Facebook group and your ex GF NAME just signed up and posted some stuff. Looks like she and I have a mutual friend FRIEND NAME"

My thoughts were "oh boy, here comes the drama-train".

Lefty: "Wow small world. FRIEND NAME is her boss. Thanks for the info. Just to let you know I don't associate to more than an acquaintance level with anyone who also associates with her (my ex) ."

HB: "What is that supposed to mean?"

Lefty: "It means exactly what it says"

HB: "So are you saying I can't talk to her?"

Lefty: "No. I am saying if you do talk to her then I can't be anymore than your acquaintance"

HB: "I can't believe you would accuse me of talking to her! You don't trust me! I thought you trusted me! Good night!!"

Lefty: "Night"

She called, texted, and Emailed me 1x each within the next hour.

Emailed again this morning apologizing for being a "typical female" and getting b|tchy! She asked me if I wanted her to leave the FB group and turn it over to someone else. I said "you don't HAVE to do anything, you are a free woman"

All is well. Now. She said she can't wait to b@ng my brains out this weekend!
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

Sik

Don Juan
Joined
Mar 7, 2013
Messages
70
Reaction score
11
Location
Central Valley of California
Well played, Logicallefty!

I hope no one misses the beauty of the exchange. No drama, fighting, yelling or other negative behavior. Just you stating your rules, maintaining frame and her following your lead.

A relatively small victory, but it lays the foundation for all future interactions.
 

logicallefty

Moderator
Joined
Apr 26, 2006
Messages
6,000
Reaction score
5,151
Age
52
Location
Northeast Florida, USA
Sik said:
Well played, Logicallefty!

I hope no one misses the beauty of the exchange. No drama, fighting, yelling or other negative behavior. Just you stating your rules, maintaining frame and her following your lead.

A relatively small victory, but it lays the foundation for all future interactions.
Thank you Sir. We have had a lot of talks on here lately about establishing, keeping, and reestablishing frame. So I figured it was good timing to post this.
 
Top