Preparing for a LTR Burial

[Desdinova]

So here I am on a Saturday night, vomiting out my thoughts. My kid's upstairs trying to avoid going to bed.

I've hinted in a couple of spots that I'm about to cut my LTR loose. I'm not sure if the 8th month counts. She went to Cuba for two weeks on vacation. I saw her once shortly after. I'm about to head into week 3 of not seeing her. The last contact she had with me was on Thursday. She claimed that she was really busy with work that week. The only reason she called me was because I ran into her best friend who asked how she was doing. I told her I really didn't know because I haven't seen much of her over the past month. We all know how fast news travels with women.

In the past, I think I've been a bit too quick to cut women off, so I'm giving her until the end of Tuesday to initiate something. I've done enough of the recent initiating with little results, so it's time to sit back, wait a bit, then make my final decision. I'm pretty sure this is done, but I'm going to give her the benefit of the doubt and wait a few days. I'm not in a hurry. There's women waiting to pounce on me once my Facebook status screams "Single" at them. Even if I don't desire any of them, I'm fine with being purely single again.

Her 11 year old daughter will be missed. The girl obviously had a crush on me. I only need to wait 7 more years until I can date her

I'm just venting. There's nothing to be had but disappointment once a LTR is either dying or has already passed on. I've been through so many women who are just not cut out to be companions. There's a lot of things I won't miss about this chick. She certainly wasn't the hottest thing I've ever dated. She also wasn't the youngest either. She also wasn't the most respectful. The sad part is she was better than a lot of the other trash that I've dated.

We had fun, we had sex. There wasn't all that much else to highlight. She was kinda boring actually. She threw around the M word a few times. It's funny how some women can just throw around that word like they mean it, and then toss the guy away like a broken vibrator.

Anyway, I suppose I should prepare for the LTR Funeral on Tuesday. It's unlikely that I'll even message her. I'll probably just nuke her off my Facebook and say nothing. If she texts me, I'll just tell her that she obviously doesn't have time for me and I'm moving on. I expect weeks of no contact from someone I'm casually fvcking. When that happens in a LTR, it's either a sign of disrespect or low interest. I put up with enough of that during my marriage. I don't need to put up with it from a woman I'm not legally bound to.

As it's been stated before, a woman with high interest will make excuses to spend time with you. This one isn't making any excuses.

 

[Augustus_McCrae]

Des,

I have to agree. Sounds like its over. Hopefully you're not too emotionally attached.

I'm just coming out of a 5 year LTR myself. And while logically I know it's over, the emotional part is much harder.

And.. she was the hottest woman I've ever known <sigh>.

Good luck man.

-Augustus-

 

[Tictac]

After a while, you get invested, no matter what else is going on. I think about this with plate #1. I've been lucky with her. If we split, it would hurt like a *****. With the others, it would take some adjustment but not much.

Time does things, all by itself. Doesn't mean you can stand where you shouldn't.

 

[Desdinova]

Hopefully you're not too emotionally attached.

I'm certainly not. I just don't want to jump to conclusions a bit too quickly in case I'm wrong.

I'm just coming out of a 5 year LTR myself. And while logically I know it's over, the emotional part is much harder.

Good luck with that. It gets easier as time goes on. Five years is a long time. The longest I've ever been with a woman was 8 years which was my ex-wife, but I was relieved when it was over.

 

[Desdinova]

be prepared for a mind fvck "why haven't you been texting me?" lol

If I get that, then it's one of the following:

1) The lack of contact gave her interest a jump start
2) She found out the other guy she's interested in isn't interested in her
3) She's truly been busy and is starting to worry about our relationship

Option #3 is the rarity. I realize that, but I'm not opposed to believing it can happen. We usually see each other on Mondays. She cancelled last Monday. She cancelled the Thursday that she scheduled. Then she's posting pictures on Facebook about the birthday party she and her daughter attended during the week. She sure as fvck made time to attend that. That's why I'm not fully buying her "I've been busy with work" excuse.

Again, I'm pretty sure it's time to get the shovel, but I'm not in a hurry for anything. Better to let the situation reach my mental deadline and then take action. I've always been better off thinking before I act.

 

[Bible_Belt]

If you're going to break up anyway, why not just tell her what you told us? What do you have to lose? NC is silly. Just say "hey, love you forever, but we're just not meant to be. Keep in touch." She should respect that.

 

[Desdinova]

If you're going to break up anyway, why not just tell her what you told us? What do you have to lose? NC is silly. Just say "hey, love you forever, but we're just not meant to be. Keep in touch." She should respect that.

Does she deserve that much?

I'll do something like that if I'm just no longer interested in her. If she has time for other 5hit and no time for me, then it's inconsiderate to just keep me technically attached for the sake of avoiding being technically single. We both know that women like to keep their existing men around while they're checking out other prospects.

I have no problem keeping her around, but that's if she's actually making the effort to spend time with me. However, I haven't been laid in over a month. I haven't seen her in two weeks. If she thinks this is acceptable behaviour in a relationship, then she's not worthy of my attention nor my respect, let alone an "official" breakup message.

Again, Mondays are usually the days we spend together. If I get nothing for Monday, then the message will be loud and clear.

 

[Die Hard]

She's gonna turn it onto you and you are gonna fall for it.

"You seem distant since I got back from Cuba. So I became distant too because I didn't know what to expect from you anymore... I don't get the feeling you want me anymore!"

Crap like that... And then you're gonna give her more attention and try harder to make her feel "wanted". But while you're doing that, she's gonna fvck someone else...

 

[Desdinova]

She's gonna turn it onto you and you are gonna fall for it.

I am?

And then you're gonna give her more attention and try harder to make her feel "wanted"

I will?

I know better than to fall for this crap. I've done enough initiating since she got back. She's the one who hasn't had the time. I haven't fvcked her in a month. My interest in her is pretty low. There's other women in my life who have been making it quite clear that they're interested.
Let's see... Guilt trip from existing GF who doesn't have time for me - vs - a blank slate that wants to spend time with me. This is a fvcking no-brainer.

This is all hypothetical though. I haven't received the guilt trip yet. If she makes no effort in the next couple of days, I won't have to worry about the guilt trip because I'm just going to cut the rope.

 

[Die Hard]

Good, man! I formulated it like you are surely gonna fall for her bullsh!t, exactly to trigger this "Hell no, I'm not gonna fall for that sh!t" response inside of you

To be honest, I don't think it's useful to wait for her the next couple of days. Sh!t has already gone too far if you ask me...

 

[Desdinova]

To be honest, I don't think it's useful to wait for her the next couple of days. Sh!t has already gone too far if you ask me...

I have a history of jumping to conclusions a bit too quickly. This is more than her ignoring me. This is me working on a personal problem. The deadline I've set is reasonable.

I've dropped some subtle hints on Facebook. The women who are interested in me are curiously sniffing around for more clues. If my GF sees the subtle hints, it might give her a jolt or she'll just ignore it. Whatever happens, it will work out to my advantage.

 

[Desdinova]

She just called and asked if she could come over for an hour or so this evening. She didn't sound serious or anything, so I'm guessing it's not a breakup meeting. I'm guessing she wants to fvck.

 

[Tenacity]

We had fun, we had sex. There wasn't all that much else to highlight.

My friend, this is the reality of the market in general. A section of guys on this Forum vehemently disagree with me, but 95% - 98% of the women you get with will just only be good for SEX and companionship.

It's the other 2% - 5% are the ones that you "might" be able to do something serious with as long as you can manage and risk mitigate all of the other "factors and variables" present.

Because at least 95% of the women have absolutely no real value outside of entertainment (sex and companionship), that right there should be ENOUGH to rule this market as bad and inefficient.

I've updated my thread where I'm going through an experiment to only focus on the girls that fit my "quality stance" and to throw away the others that don't. I'm giving up A LOT of pvssy in the process, I had to let go of a couple of recurring plates and newer plates for this experiment. I'm trying it for awhile to see where it goes. I'm also just honestly not interested in fvcking these other chicks anymore, I need something with more substance but damn is this market difficult to FIND THAT.

 

[Desdinova]

95% - 98% of the women you get with will just only be good for SEX and companionship.

...and that's exactly what I'm focusing on. As long as this chick can provide those two things, I'll keep her around. The fact that she wasn't providing those two things is what made me consider dropping her.

I've genuinely been taking your position on what women are good for. I've been repeatedly disappointed when looking for that real connection with a quality woman. Looks have become less relevant because the pretty and the plain girls are on the same playing field with the same skills (or lack thereof). As long as I find someone I can tolerate, sex and companionship is all I expect to get. If she starts to piss me off, then find another one I can tolerate for the exact same ability to provide sex and companionship.

Dude, you really hit the nail on the head with this one.

There's less disappointment, less time wasted searching for that ideal mate (or soulmate which we've been bull5hitted about for so long), less energy wasted in gaming the bytch, and less frustration when she turns out to be the typical average defective woman you hoped that she wouldn't be.

However.... If that ideal woman should ever come along, she'll need to prove her dedication to me if she wishes to share a life with me. Given the amount of women I've been through, I'd say it's a safe bet that I won't meet one anytime soon.

Once I become debt free in the next decade, I will start travelling. Perhaps on those journeys I shall meet a good woman, but that's a few years off still.

 

[Tenacity]

Yeah, I believe LiveFree might be correct in that guys like us need to start looking at foreign women more. But guys like T.O., Hithard and the others believe that going foreign isn't required and that "quality" is abound in this American market if you have certain levels of game.

I honestly don't know what else I can fix on myself?

- My finances are together with a nice car, nice place, stay in the suburbs

- My looks are together

- My personality is strong, people enjoy being around me, I'm usually the "life" of the party. Women that go out with me are laughing and having a good time.

I honestly don't know what "game" they are talking about. I'm starting to think that it's a geographical issue we are dealing with as the market we are playing in has been tainted a lot by feminism and gynocentrism. The quantity of quality women in my opinion are going to come from markets globally that haven't been tainted "yet".

What I'm saying is that we only have so much control over this stuff. It's as if all we can do is fix our Looks, Personality and Finances to where the majority of women say we are "attractive". It's like after THAT, there's nothing else you can do to change the personal moral, values and character of a woman, which is usually based on programming by the Feminist Movement.

 

[C-quenced]

I jumped on the foreign women bandwagon for a little while and wound up getting thrown right off. Foreign women are every bit as disgusting as U.S. women. They just don't have as much opportunity to act out on their bull**** back at home. Everyday I see foreign women (in their 20's) that lived in the U.S. for 3 - 5 years and while they may initially display desirable traits they're also quick to adopt hyper materialism, hypergamy and riding the **** carousel. Whatever they see U.S. born and raised females living and partaking in they'll become covetous and copycat the lifestyle.

I also realized that women, by default, think they're better than you regardless of where she's from. In the U.S. and other western countries this natural arrogance is only magnified. So beware. It's all the same sh*t no matter where you go.

 

[Die Hard]

I have a history of jumping to conclusions a bit too quickly. This is more than her ignoring me. This is me working on a personal problem. The deadline I've set is reasonable.

Riiiiiight.... You don't know what you want, do you?!

* First this bytch disrespects you with that whole birthday party of the older guy she used to have a crush on and all that.
* Then she goes to Cuba for 2 weeks and when she comes back she has no interest in seeing you.
* Bytch gives you bullsh!t excuses about being busy all week. She has time to attend birthday parties but doesn't have time for you.
* You haven't had sex with her in over a month.
* You haven't seen her in two weeks.

Any guy with an inch of self respect would not tolerate this sh!t, unless he totally doesn't care about the girl at all. HOWEVER..... YOU DO CARE! Let me quote you:

"I expect weeks of no contact from someone I'm casually fvcking. When that happens in a LTR, it's either a sign of disrespect or low interest. I put up with enough of that during my marriage. I don't need to put up with it from a woman I'm not legally bound to."

"If she thinks this is acceptable behaviour in a relationship, then she's not worthy of my attention nor my respect"

"If she has time for other 5hit and no time for me, then it's inconsiderate to just keep me technically attached for the sake of avoiding being technically single. We both know that women like to keep their existing men around while they're checking out other prospects."

Now why the fvck do you even come on here to express your concerns? Why do you even express the above statements if you really don't care about her and this stuff? Man, it's pretty obvious that her behavior is bothering you, you're just trying to act tough and trying to rationalize your own frustration away.
Her behavior indicates either a lack of interest or disrespect...however you put it, her behavior is insulting to you. Your own girlfriend isn't interested to see you, what a poor guy does that make you?!?! Obviously that bothers you, you have every right to feel bothered when some bytch treats you like that! And in spite of your tough remarks about not being that attached to her and how little she actually had to offer and all that yaketee-yak where you try to convince yourself that it doesn't bother you, it's pretty clear that IT DOES BOTHER YOU.

But what do you do? You convince yourself that SHE is not doing anything wrong, but instead YOU are doing something wrong by "jumping to conclusions too quickly" and referring to your past tendency of being too quick to cut women off. Wow, you really have a talent for brainwashing yourself and backwards rationalizing her bad behavior, don't you?

I told you in Tenacity's thread a while ago, you've become a loser, someone who has GIVEN UP, and you've decided to travel a very sad and pathetic road, man... You let low quality bytches treat you like sh!t and then convince yourself it shouldn't bother you, so you don't have to stand up for yourself. But in the meanwhile, deep down, it does bother you.... Really unhealthy behavior if you ask me, you remind me of a kid who gets bullied by his classmates so much that he eventually embraces all the negativity and starts to think it's the way things should be. The kids spit on him and throw urine on his clothes, so eventually he decides to spit on himself and throw urine on his own clothes before going to school, convincing himself that if he gets used to that, he won't have to feel bothered anymore when the bullies do it to him...

If you throw someone on the floor and start kicking him, at first he will try to defend himself or at least put his arms around his torso to lessen the impact of the blows on his body. But if you keep doing this daily for a few months, eventually the person will just lie down on the floor by himself and won't even try to protect his body from the blows landing anymore. He just lies there, NUMBED, like some zombie, gazing into the nothing, feeling nothing, just being a numb object...

Well, that's you Des! Like I said to you before, all the negative experiences with women have beaten you into submission and it's really sad to see what you've become... But do whatever you like, man. Keep following this pathetic path and keep reading Tenacity's wonderful insights and advice. I'm sure the pessimistic and nihilistic approach of you guys will lead to a happy love life, while the positive approach of guys like Rollo, Sl!ckster and Guru1000 leads to unhappiness....

You should read up on Learned Helplessness: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Learned_helplessness

 

[Tenacity]

Die Hard,

Do you have a "quality woman"? If so, do you care to provide some details on:

- How she looks
- How many kids she has
- Her financial situation
- How she treats you
- Her past relationships, ONS, etc.
- Maybe a pic of her (use something like Photobucket so it doesn't come up in SEO)

Do you care to share this information? I would just like to know because guys like you, T.O., and my good buddy HitHard keep promoting this "quality woman". I just want to know who the hell this woman is, where the hell this woman is, and how in the hell I can get in contact with a bunch of women like her?

As I said in my thread, I've cut out fvcking a lot of the other chicks I've been fvcking (missing out on some GOOD PVSSY BTW) to focus in on girls I believe are more high quality. I've been trying this experiment for a solid 9 days so far so it's still very early, but so far I've gotten a good amount of numbers but these chicks have extreme levels of fickle-ness.

 

[amazingswayze]

Riiiiiight.... You don't know what you want, do you?!

* First this bytch disrespects you with that whole birthday party of the older guy she used to have a crush on and all that.
* Then she goes to Cuba for 2 weeks and when she comes back she has no interest in seeing you.
* Bytch gives you bullsh!t excuses about being busy all week. She has time to attend birthday parties but doesn't have time for you.
* You haven't had sex with her in over a month.
* You haven't seen her in two weeks.

Any guy with an inch of self respect would not tolerate this sh!t, unless he totally doesn't care about the girl at all. HOWEVER..... YOU DO CARE! Let me quote you:

"I expect weeks of no contact from someone I'm casually fvcking. When that happens in a LTR, it's either a sign of disrespect or low interest. I put up with enough of that during my marriage. I don't need to put up with it from a woman I'm not legally bound to."

"If she thinks this is acceptable behaviour in a relationship, then she's not worthy of my attention nor my respect"

"If she has time for other 5hit and no time for me, then it's inconsiderate to just keep me technically attached for the sake of avoiding being technically single. We both know that women like to keep their existing men around while they're checking out other prospects."

Now why the fvck do you even come on here to express your concerns? Why do you even express the above statements if you really don't care about her and this stuff? Man, it's pretty obvious that her behavior is bothering you, you're just trying to act tough and trying to rationalize your own frustration away.
Her behavior indicates either a lack of interest or disrespect...however you put it, her behavior is insulting to you. Your own girlfriend isn't interested to see you, what a poor guy does that make you?!?! Obviously that bothers you, you have every right to feel bothered when some bytch treats you like that! And in spite of your tough remarks about not being that attached to her and how little she actually had to offer and all that yaketee-yak where you try to convince yourself that it doesn't bother you, it's pretty clear that IT DOES BOTHER YOU.

But what do you do? You convince yourself that SHE is not doing anything wrong, but instead YOU are doing something wrong by "jumping to conclusions too quickly" and referring to your past tendency of being too quick to cut women off. Wow, you really have a talent for brainwashing yourself and backwards rationalizing her bad behavior, don't you?

I told you in Tenacity's thread a while ago, you've become a loser, someone who has GIVEN UP, and you've decided to travel a very sad and pathetic road, man... You let low quality bytches treat you like sh!t and then convince yourself it shouldn't bother you, so you don't have to stand up for yourself. But in the meanwhile, deep down, it does bother you.... Really unhealthy behavior if you ask me, you remind me of a kid who gets bullied by his classmates so much that he eventually embraces all the negativity and starts to think it's the way things should be. The kids spit on him and throw urine on his clothes, so eventually he decides to spit on himself and throw urine on his own clothes before going to school, convincing himself that if he gets used to that, he won't have to feel bothered anymore when the bullies do it to him...

If you throw someone on the floor and start kicking him, at first he will try to defend himself or at least put his arms around his torso to lessen the impact of the blows on his body. But if you keep doing this daily for a few months, eventually the person will just lie down on the floor by himself and won't even try to protect his body from the blows landing anymore. He just lies there, NUMBED, like some zombie, gazing into the nothing, feeling nothing, just being a numb object...

Well, that's you Des! Like I said to you before, all the negative experiences with women have beaten you into submission and it's really sad to see what you've become... But do whatever you like, man. Keep following this pathetic path and keep reading Tenacity's wonderful insights and advice. I'm sure the pessimistic and nihilistic approach of you guys will lead to a happy love life, while the positive approach of guys like Rollo, Sl!ckster and Guru1000 leads to unhappiness....

You should read up on Learned Helplessness: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Learned_helplessness

You sound like a douche.

 

[Desdinova]

Man, it's pretty obvious that her behavior is bothering you,

So now I peer into my past and try to find a woman who's behaviour has NOT bothered me...
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I didn't find any.

There's a world where a good, decent woman exists. I don't know where the fvck it is, but it's certainly not here.

What it's come down to is how much of a woman's bull5hit I can tolerate. THAT IS THE WAY IT IS. There is nothing more here. There is no fvcking princess out there. If I dismiss women based on the 5hit that bothers me, I would absolutely never get laid. I would never have a female companion. ALL women have actions that bother me. ALL women have traits that bother me. The question is how much 5hit do I put up with before I get rid of her?

I honestly don't have the desire to go out and sarge these bytches anymore. I'm either going to put up with a woman who's good enough for a while, or I'm going to remain single. I like both options, but one involves companionship and sex. If I could enjoy fvcking my cat, I would do that instead of date women.

you're just trying to act tough and trying to rationalize your own frustration away.

I'm not trying to rationalize anything away. This was an issue with a woman. This was something I needed to identify. I'm not a fvcking AFC who is going to say "baby, I miss you and I need you to be here for me". We know that doesn't work. Instead, I identify the problem and figure out how I'm going to deal with it. Do I invest in this woman any longer? When should I quit investing and on what date? I think all this 5hit over instead of reacting to my emotions like a bytch.

You convince yourself that SHE is not doing anything wrong, but instead YOU are doing something wrong by "jumping to conclusions too quickly" and referring to your past tendency of being too quick to cut women off.

This is something that isn't just going to help me with my dealings with women, it's going to help me with my dealings in other things. If I go through life saying "fvck this 5hit" without thinking about my actions, I'm going to end up broke and homeless. This is something that's going to make me a BETTER person, and it's not because I need to keep useless bytches around. Doing it with women is good practice because fvcking up in this regard isn't going to fvck up my life.

you've become a loser, someone who has GIVEN UP, and you've decided to travel a very sad and pathetic road, man...

I would have travelled a sad and pathetic road if I had returned to the bytch who drove me here, which I've had multiple opportunities to do so. I sat down and really thought, "Is this really what all my self-improvement and hard work has led me to? Has it led me to right back where I started? Should it lead me back to where I started?" If I go back to that bytch, the last 15 years of my life would have been a waste. But perhaps I should return to her, because according to you, sitting back, analyzing all this 5hit and making a decision is the act of brainwashing myself.

In my books, a man who can sit back, analyze, and make a decision is highly respectable. I see a man who acts upon his emotions as a person without any self-control. I don't want that.

And what have I given up? It certainly isn't the desire to improve myself. I've been working on a plan that should have me debt free by around age 45 - WITH a nice house.

I have given up on the idea that a truly ideal woman is available to me, at least in my immediate vicinity. After I'm debt-free, I will be free to travel. Perhaps I may meet a woman during that time, but women are certainly NOT at the top of my priority list.

You let low quality bytches treat you like sh!t and then convince yourself it shouldn't bother you

I have NOT convinced myself of this. All women bother me to some extent. I just try to choose the ones that will have the longest cut-off date.

I'm sure the pessimistic and nihilistic approach of you guys will lead to a happy love life

And where do I pursue this happy love life? Last time I checked, you were in the same boat as me, only you're excited about us reaching the island any day while I'm just going to enjoy the boat ride, deal with the issues at hand, and appreciate the island if we ever get there.

Keep following this pathetic path and keep reading Tenacity's wonderful insights and advice.

Tenacity hasn't given me any advice. He's just calling it as he sees it, and I'm seeing the same things. My path is far from pathetic. I have lots of things going for me. I'm just not inclined to believe that my life needs to be completed by the presence of a strong and independent woman.

while the positive approach of guys like Rollo, Sl!ckster and Guru1000 leads to unhappiness....

I agree with the majority of Rollo's stuff. Me and him have always seen eye-to-eye on most things. However, he's standing outside the box with a few things. The recent discussion that was posted on youtube had him talking about staying with a woman but not marrying her. That's easy to say when you've been married for 20 years. When you're outside of the marriage box, you find out that ALL women want to get married. If you tell her no, then she's going to tell you how terrible you are for not wanting to marry her, and then you have to break up with her immediately because you shouldn't be tolerating her disrespect.

And if you're wondering what happened when she was over tonight, she started bytching about the usual 5hit what women bytch about - how I don't read into things enough, blah blah blah. However, she brought up the whole guy friend thing again. As per usual, she believes that there's nothing wrong with women having guy friends, and she's not going to be giving up her guy friends for anybody, including me.

I have two options. I either take the relationship for the valueless, disrespectful thing she's insisted on it being (and maybe go fvck some other women while being "exclusive"), or I can ditch her and date another woman who probably has the same viewpoint and opinion about her guy friends.

Which is the better situation?

Oh? Go look for a woman who has no guy friends? Okay, well let's take into consideration the time you need to put into dating, the time it takes to date a woman and find out how many guy friends she has, the rejection rate for women who aren't interested, and let's throw in some sex to satisfy my needs and maybe a couple more STDs for me to deal with. Maybe I'll be able to find one after my kid's grown up and moved out, because that's when I'll have the time to be serial-dating again.

The odds are stacked against us, and that is the reality of it all. It's come to a point where my best option right now is to enjoy a woman for as long as I can tolerate her, and then throw her away for another model. Rinse and repeat. If Miss Right comes along during that time, then that's awesome. However, I've been doing this 5hit for the last 15 years and Miss Right still hasn't shown up. The odds sucks ass. The odds of me catching Herpes in the process were certainly a lot better. Again, that's the reality and I can't ignore that.