Pre College Improvement

[Chicks Just Dig Me]

So my senior year is almost over. I am a very social kid, very bright ranked in the top 30 in my class in a class of 200. I have around 800 kids in my school. I am in the middle range of popularity. My house is a very fun place to hang and I go to about 1/4 of the parties. I am a real funny kid, and I do average with the girls, even though I would like to do better. But there are some things I really wanna get right and prove upon before college:

1. Even though I am in the middle of the pack of popularity, kids still like to target me and pick on me constantly. I tried to ignore it, but it seems to never stop. Now, I come back with comebacks, which makes them shut up. But after my friends said I gotta lay off and not be so mean to them after I get attacked. It never stops. I get made fun of who I date, for me being very strong so they say I take steroids, or because I am naturally tanned that they call me black. I have trouble thinking quick on my feet, and sometimes my attacks may be too harsh. I don't know how to handle being called out and made fun of for how I talk (speed problem) or anything. I don't know how to stop this.

2. Even though I am in the top 25% of my class, I am seen as not a smart kid. Part of this problem is I like to be a funny kid, and sometimes I may end up like the clown. Not many people seem to take me seriously I guess. I wanna be able to be seen as a real bright kid like I am, but also we funny. I am entertaining and I guess people and my friends just see me as entertainment which I don't like. If I am not funny half the time, I feel like I may seem boring. How do I balance things out, being funny and real smart at the same time. I also have trouble answering questions in class sometimes. I never had this problem before. I get answers right sometimes, but when I get the quiz back I get an excellent grade, so kids just think something is up.

3. This may all add up because I still seem to care what some people think about me. Why do I think this? Because it spreads. If someone knows you, and they may tell another person that your not fun to be with or mean, so that makes a bad outlook on their part towards you. I don't wanna have this problem entering college so I want to clear this up.

So basically, I dont want to be a target all the time. I don't mind if its once in a while, and even if some ppl say they are joking, it never ends. Its been going on all this year. For a pretty average kid, I get busted on a lot and I don't like it. If it was rare, then fine. I want to be the kid who is seen as smart, but doesn't have to try too hard. And the kid who is funny, but gets stuff done when it needs to be done.

Any help guys?

 

[defiancy]

yea high school is stupid, I'm waiting to go to college myself. I'll be honest with my advice. I don't think I'll give you a perfect answer so hopefully someone else will add more in other posts. I'll respond to your numbers in order.

1) So how did the carnage start anyway? If the very first time someone made fun of you brought an angry response out of you...then that's why. When you react to people, you are only feeding the fire. When people make fun of each other, the purpose is to bring out a response in the person they're making fun of. That's why even if you throw the most violent fit in the world, they'll still bother you. It's entertainment for them as you say. My advice is to play it cool and act casual. If you're going to say a comeback, say it as it's "casual" or maybe in a calm, serious tone and give them a smirk. If someone makes fun of you, just smile at them, but the key is to not show emotion. If they know it's just an act, no point. If you have trouble thinking on your feet, take your time. In fact, it will even help out your calm "image" and give you more time to give a good response. "Why do you care?" is one example, but your responses are up to you. you take steroids...respond with "of course" or something with a smile. The fact you respond harshly causes the jokes to occur more frequently. It’s like poking an animal with a stick to get it angry and running away. They feel it’s so much fun that they just come back poking back at you because they love seeing you give an emotional response.

For your speed problem, talk slower. Enough said. It's been said on these threads and the bible that you should relax and act as if you have all the time in the world. Trust me, you can stop it. Just gain conscious control of your mind.

2) I'm in the 4% of my class and I don't have the problems you have. People see me as a smart guy (I take an insane amount of honors classes), but a relaxed kind of person. I just do my work and I mess around every so often. I simply don't care. I am serious when I need to be, but lighthearted when I want to be. Being too funny is not good. You're just a clown that everyone just laughs at especially if you feel you have to make people laugh. You're just setting yourself up. Also it's not a question of balancing between laughs and intelligence. I've been trying to figure that out as a DJ, but the thing is that you just do it. Do your work, study, relax, and have fun. Simple as that.

If I am not funny half the time, I feel like I may seem boring.

why do you care so much?

I get answers right sometimes, but when I get the quiz back I get an excellent grade, so kids just think something is up.

who cares if they think something is up? you got the grade, that's it.


3) Yea true. High school is a little tricky for DJs. For us, it's more like practice before the real world. If you try to flirt with a lot of girls, word might get around through gossip. I'm sick of this childish environment. Anyway, you need to stop being overconcerned. Be more carefree and take your time. When you think too much about what everyone else thinks, you will stumble. The reason behind that is you feel that you have to prove yourself. Once again, who cares? Don't be hypersensitive to these things. Have a easygoing attitude. Your uptight attitude and your need to be socially validated is probably your problem. When your attitude is calm, your responses will naturally do the work for you. Learn how to control it.

 

[Chicks Just Dig Me]

Yeah with so a little over two months until I graduate and I have yet to figure what I need to do to lose some of my negative images of high school this year and I really am looking forward to a fresh start.

Some things although have been puzzling me. It seems when I make a perverted joke or something along the lines of that, it bites me in the a$$, even though I only want to stay for a few minutes. Like if I say something dumb once in a while, it never leaves me and always comes back to haunt me. Also, it seems like my friends which are pretty cool sometimes, seem to think of me as just entertainment. Someone they can joke on and try to make themselves look good infront of girls. This brings me down because the girls play off of it too.

Also, it seems people still think I am so retarded and dumb because of how I act. So many people get away with acting funny and dumb in class and get away with it. I never got away with it, and people just think of it as a kid who knows nothing and is considered really dumb. When I get called on, I rarely know the answer or if I go up to the board to do a problem, I'll get it wrong. Despite what I do on paper, I am considered not too bright. Why? I believe its because of how I act once again. I like to have a lot of fun, and I believe I need to limit how much fun one can have. But people and girls like fun guys though? I don't know how to see what works.

I work out, I believe I am decent looking. But it seems like I get made fun of for my appearance too. I have an ok smile, short hair, dark italian skin, big muscles...but I always get looked at because of the negatives and it seems like I set myself up. If i made a joke about myself once in a while, it comes back at you. But of course, others get away with it and everything. Why can't I?

During this summer, I really wanna change who I am and how I dictate myself. I wanna be that guy who can be funny and who girls love to talk to, but am also smart when I am called on to be and not just what my grade says. i wanna be the guy that guys wanna be like and call to hang out when there is a party. I prly been to a quarter of them this year, but I wanna be that guy who ppl wanna hang out with and drink at these parties. I wanna be the guy the girls talk to and love to laugh with. I improved dramatically, and I was at a pretty decent point last year, but I am grealy slipping this year...

Once again, I am a pretty popular kid, in the middle. But what kills me is how I dictate myself I believe, how I entertain ppl maybe a little too much, and care what others think and try to fit in. How can I change in these last two months?

 

[lsu03]

i'm #2 in my class but ppl dont see me as smart but sure see the #1 guy as smart(my best friend).

 

[Teh_Wolf]

are you maybe nervous when your answering questions? because you ahve to do it in front of people so you forget but when its just you and the paper you remember it?

 

[Chicks Just Dig Me]

Well the point I am trying to make is I wanna be that guy who can ahve fun in class and fool around to an extent with the girl next to me or my friends across of me and still get great grades and act smart when asked a question..Maybe my thinking is off. Yes, I do get nervous but I never used to. This is because this year I really stopped speaking clearly and my friends constant bickering about my speech and talking has gotten to my head. I don't wanna be wrong or ask a stupid question, and I was never like this.

But the point is, I want to be like that guy. There are several in my school. No matter what they do, ppl think they are funny whether its a gay joke (acting or saying) or its a perverted joke or something. When I do it once in a while, it haunts me. It seems like when people are bored they will attack me about my choice of girl selection (settling for a girl) and saying that I lowered my standards a lot (last year to this year). Maybe I changed dramatically because its my senior year or maybe people are really starting to show their true colors of who they really are.

Before I head off to colllege in August, I want to have this down. Yeah it should not be rehearsed cuz this is supposed to be my personality and what makes me unique, but what I am doing now is only working so much. I want to be funny, but not the clown funny. The smart, confident guy who is more than what a number says on paper. I get the grades, but not through answering questions in class and I get the laughs, but half of them are because they are funny/witty and half are because they were stupid funny.

Any examples of how I can self-improve for my last 2 months of high school?

 

[defiancy]

Are you sure they're friends or rather just acquaintances? Real friends would stop giving you sh*t like that if it really bothered you. If they're just people you know...they kind of won't.

Why did you stop speaking clearly? I have stuttering problems myself, but I did do something about it. I joined my speech club and even though I didn't become the world's greatest speaker like my friend...I gained so much confidence and coordination with my speech.

The fact that you care so much like I said will affect your speech. If you think about every word it doesn't come out well. I know trust me. Can you just relax?

And finally. We all have our goals. You want to be smart? Challenge yourself and study...balance your social life and academic life. If you don't want to be the clown funny..then don't! Simple as that. Take charge of what you want to improve and do it. If you suck at speaking...go join toastmasters or a speech club or just socialize with people, ask them about their lives, what their passion is, their hobbies (a REAL conversation). You will get good.

Self improve for high school. Well high school for me wasn't that great, but I was able to get my inner game up and the attraction running through girls. I never really went out with too many girls my high school career. So basically if you want to pull girls in college, focus on inner game now (which is improving yourself). Don't say you'll do it in May or June. Do it tomorrow. Sooner the better. Do the best you can despite the negativity around you. No one will care once you leave them for college. Make a list of your flaws and how you will improve them. Also, read the DJ bible and KillaPeteHog's bible sticky in the Tips forum you need some motivation posts and you need to reread some parts of it. I like your optimism in your 3rd paragraph, so you outlined your goals and again do them.

Just strive to for it you'll be fine. I'm taking 9 AP and IB tests this May and yet people respect me as a cool guy not as a nerd. Don't carry yourself out as a loser and don't get overanxious about everything. Work on inner game. Learn to play an instrument, find a passion, study hard, hang out with REAL friends learn from them...teach them something. You have two months left like me...there's things I regret not doing like approaching some girls but make the best of it.

 

[girl_in_a_boy_forum]

Here's the thing...when you go to college, nobody cares what your high school experience was like. Nobody cares about your GPA, your popularity, or how many people you dated.

Really.

College is a clean slate, and you can make of this what you will. You arrive and nobody has any prejudice against you.

I've met so many people at my school that were probably demonized or made fun of in high school. Most of them are considered pretty cool at college and have a lot of friends. I've also met people who were probably cool in high school, but in college nobody takes them seriously or wants to spend time with them. Once you get to college, the dumb jock becomes a lot less appealing.

Heck, one of the most popular guys in my year is deaf but had an operation and wears hearing aids, so he can talk but he has a difficult accent. He told me that he only had one friend in high school, but here, people love him.

I was very quiet and unpopular in high school. Most of the people in my senior class had been with me through elementary and middle school too, so everybody had opinions about each other that were hard to break. I didn't have a lot of friends. When I came to college, I didn't really change anything about my personality. I tried to be more outgoing and talk to people I met in class, but I stayed true to myself...and I made a lot of friends without trying. I'm not super popular, but I know a lot of people and have a good reputation.

Don't worry about it so much. It's a clean slate.