Practicing conversations with women

[davidsonj73]

I have two female friends (one 48 and the other 70) who I am in no way sexually interested in, but I'm terrible at conversing with women and want to get better.
In order to practice and get better: What questions should I ask them? What things should I say to them.
The 48 year old is a Wiccan (an ex Protestant) and the 70 year old is an ex Catholic but now a Protestant (she agrees with the Catholic church still, but was excommunicated from the Catholic church after divorcing her husband).
The 48 year old has a male cat and the 70 year old has a female dog.
In the past I have talked with the 48 year old about balancing chakras and the 70 year old about the Tanakh (which is like the Protestant Old Testament, but the books are in a different order). The 48 year old once showed me a Tarot deck. The 48 year old and I once talked about Katie Perry.

 

[Mike32ct]

Talking to women friends should be super easy. They do most of the talking. How did you become friends in the first place?

I had a female friend from work. Conversations would usually start about work and then organically flow into other topics.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

You listen to what they say and then choose one of the topics of conversation they give you and continue with it.

 

[davidsonj73]

Talking to women friends should be super easy. They do most of the talking. How did you become friends in the first place?

I had a female friend from work. Conversations would usually start about work and then organically flow into other topics.

@Mike32ct We became friends because we are neighbors.

 

[tksniper]

You listen to what they say and then choose one of the topics of conversation they give you and continue with it.

I would do the opposite. I would introduce a topic to my own liking and express myself.

A conversation isn’t a one way avenue. A conversation is a two way communication.

@OP you said they are your friends. Isn’t friendship a two way relationship? Then why is @BackInTheGame78 suggesting you neglect your own perspective and simply react to whatever over 50 year old women want to talk about?

Women don’t have any respect for you when you simply fall into their frames. I would know. I grew up in a house hold full of females. All they talk about is gossip.

As a non reactionary man, introduce a topic you want to be discussed, and have them react to YOU.

The most dominant person in a conversation isnt the most talkative or the loudest.


It’s the one everyone is reacting to.

Understand this dynamic and you grok dominance and status.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I would do the opposite. I would introduce a topic to my own liking and express myself.

A conversation isn’t a one way avenue. A conversation is a two way communication.

@OP you said they are your friends. Isn’t friendship a two way relationship? Then why is @BackInTheGame78 suggesting you neglect your own perspective and simply react to whatever over 50 year old women want to talk about?

Women don’t have any respect for you when you simply fall into their frames. I would know. I grew up in a house hold full of females. All they talk about is gossip.

As a non reactionary man, introduce a topic you want to be discussed, and have them react to YOU.

The most dominant person in a conversation isnt the most talkative or the loudest.


It’s the one everyone is reacting to.

OP needs to learn how to have a conversation. If he is terrible at talking to women, common sense says that it's because THE TOPICS HE CHOOSES TO SPEAK ABOUT CAUSE HIM TO CRASH AND BURN.

Context matters. He needs to learn how to listen and then use what he is given to continue the conversation in some logical fashion so he doesn't seem like a socially inept person.

That will get him a hell of a lot farther in the long run than by simply randomly talking about something he wants to talk about which he likely already does...that's what people who are poor conversationalists do, which is a majority of people.

 

[tksniper]

OP needs to learn how to have a conversation. If he is terrible at talking to women, common sense says that it's because THE TOPICS HE CHOOSES TO SPEAK ABOUT CAUSE HIM TO CRASH AND BURN.

Context matters

I don’t think he does. He’s a grown man. He probably needs a more nuanced advice from someone giving him a little more credit.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I don’t think he does. He’s a grown man. He probably needs a more nuanced advice from someone giving him a little more credit.

So learning how to have be a good conversationalist doesn't matter?

Might as well say it doesn't matter if you know how to swim when you jump in the deep end of the pool either.

There are already enough clueless people who have no conversational ability out there, they are the ones women walk to the bathroom and then come back and have an "emergency" happen 15 minutes into the date .

 

[tksniper]

So learning how to have be a good conversationalist doesn't matter?

Might as well say it doesn't matter if you know how to swim when you jump in the deep end of the pool either.

Judging from his posts, he seems to have a baseline level of emotional intelligence. I think you are underestimating his emotional intelligence and giving him advice as if he was an autistic 5 year old.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Judging from his posts, he seems to have a baseline level of emotional intelligence. I think you are underestimating his emotional intelligence and giving him advice as if he was an autistic 5 year old.

Writing something on your own time with no other person there and no time constraint is vastly different than talking to a person, and that's different than talking to a woman in a way that's going to get results.

At the end of the day, you have to have basic conversational skills and you ain't getting them by rambling on about topics you want to talk about when you have no idea how to interact with women in that way.

I mean if the shoe fits then wear it. Might want to read more of his posts.

 

[tksniper]

Writing something on your own time with no other person there and no time constraint is vastly different than talking to a person.

I mean if the shoe fits then wear it.

I’m not going to keep going on with you, nor will I attempt to throw shots. I’m too old for that. but I stand by my original posts. I’m confident they stand up. It comes with experience, not theory.

 

[BeExcellent]

There is a good book, OP that I suggest you obtain:

The Fine Art of Small Talk by Deborah Fine.

Paperback & inexpensive. She was a highly intelligent engineer who struggled socially. The book is a useful and practical volume that will educate on both the "how" and the "why".

How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie is also immensely useful.

Read both and refer to them often. I trust you'll find those volumes helpful.

Cheers

 

[davidsonj73]

There is a good book, OP that I suggest you obtain:

The Fine Art of Small Talk by Deborah Fine.

Paperback & inexpensive. She was a highly intelligent engineer who struggled socially. The book is a useful and practical volume that will educate on both the "how" and the "why".

How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie is also immensely useful.

Read both and refer to them often. I trust you'll find those volumes helpful.

Cheers

@BeExcellent I will buy and read them. Thank you!

 

[Scaramouche]

Hi Davidson,
You are an interesting fellow...For the young one,why not borrow an old DVD,"The Whicker Man",promise you will enjoy it and being centred around Wicka beliefs,it will provide many interesting conversations....For the Old Chook,getting her started should be easy,shutting her up will be the problem...Practice feeding back her earlier conversation pieces as if they are yours,very effective.

 

[Bokanovsky]

I can't believe how gullible some of you guys are.

 

[BaronOfHair]

Some pointers https://geediting.com/d-psychology-...rsation-you-have-below-average-social-skills/