Potential Plate or Trouble Brewing ?

[typical]

So bumped into a 26 year old woman at the sailing club that's showing semi high interest.

Have had her over at my place a few times and she's pushing the whole " Oh you're one of those guys" agenda. Trying to steal the frame any chance she gets. Hasn't flaked out on a thing yet.

Sex is fantastic, probably the best I've had in a few years, and that's where the problem begins, she's admitted to being a stripper while in university and spent 6 months working as a "High Class Escort". Much of this story I feel is watered down, just a gut feeling I have. I did get a full checkup done after that conversation so all is clear ..... For now, as I don't trust this woman.

Now on the other hand I have a lovely 28 year old woman, whom I've been seeing for the better part of nearly 3 years now. She is pushing the agenda of wanting to become "Mrs Typical". She's a science teacher at one of our local High Schools and if I'm honest her IQ, EQ , weirdness and humour matches mine. I could pull the trigger with this one I feel.

The sex with the former sex worker is fantastic but everything else seems to clash or she tries to get under my skin all the time. I think it's just **** testing before the crazy comes out.

The sex with the school teacher is very good, she doesn't like anal though, but will let me use her however I want, very submissive. Non confrontational is very smart (or educated I would say). Really does behave like she wants to become the "Wife" and is very obedient.

Now do I continue to spin plates with both women (there's also a third woman a kinky Indian nurse) but timing is always weird with her as she lives with her parents and is quite flakey.

Or do I let the school teacher corner me into the ultimatum speech ???

I wonder if I should email Rollo directly and ask for advice on how to approach this !?

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Ah, the classic paradox of "I want my cake and eat it too".

Unfortunately the answer is at this point "you can't" have both.

It would be like asking "How can I go buy this car but yet still have the money in my bank account that I used to buy the car"?

You can't. Life is about tradeoffs and making decisions based on those tradeoffs.

So you need to decide what you want.

Do you want the crazy hot sex with the ex stripper who likely is not going to end up being with you long term, or do you want someone who you have been with and are more compatible with?

The problem humans get into is when we think we can have them both, when we can't.

If this woman you have been with for 3 years finds out about stripper girl, she is going to flip her lid and you are probably done.

Then as is almost always the case, things will go sideways with stripper girl and you will realize you really screwed up things with the other girl and am want her back. And maybe that will happen but at what cost? You will be in a very weak position, she won't trust you and she will then be holding all the cards. And many times the lack of trust ultimately will lead her to either break up or do the same thing to you.

My advice is decide what you actually want and then proceed in that direction knowing that both is not an option long-term and that you are risking to a greater degree with the woman you already have each time you see stripper girl.

 

[BaronOfHair]

...she's admitted to being a stripper while in university and spent 6 months working as a "High Class Escort"....

I think it's just **** testing before the crazy comes out.

The crazy in this scenario has been more pervasive than bribery among The New Orleans PD, loooooooooooong before you appeared in it, hoss. There's no rehabilitating a chick(or anyone else, for that matter)who's gone THAT far off the rails

We're way beyond having appeared in a porno or two, or having posed nude a few times, so that she could make rent

 

[Bokanovsky]

A nurse, a teacher and a prostitute. You like to live dangerously, don't you?

 

[BackInTheGame78]

A nurse, a teacher and a prostitute. You like to live dangerously, don't you?

That sounds like the beginning to a bad joke

 

[Divorced w 3]

I think you’re using the teacher for emotional support but I would say seem to have the acumen to keep this going also.

Morals aside, that’s not necessarily our purpose here…

Are you a relationship guy? (you need to admit that and be reciprocal to her, if that’s your arrangement)

Or can you let her walk and be okay with the exciting yet temporary lifestyle of spinning plates?

 

[Solomon]

What's SOME guys obsession with anal? not attacking you OP but I find it odd

The girl who likes to create drama , even if you choose her it's not going to last, It sounds like you're just in it for the sex. Eventually, her testing you or nagging you will get old and not worth it, does she bring anything else to the table besides sex and her looks? cook? clean?

IMO the teacher is the obvious choice, I'm curious 3 years what is you guy's arrangement? I have never had a plate for that long unless it's an on and off agian situaton usually what i notice with women I deal with. They want to be exclusive with me right away and if they KNOW they can't get it they tend to move on very quickly.

 

[The Duke]

@typical - you haven't really expressed what it is you are wanting. Unfortunately we can't all have a committed solid woman and some random sexy freak on the side.

At some point the teacher will corner you about commitment. I'm surprised she hasn't pushed for it earlier. If thats not what you want then let her know and cut ties.

 

[Chow Mein]

Many women will give an ultimatum.
Call their bluff.
Continue to spin plates, if that’s what you want.

 

[Chow Mein]

I think the best way to spin plates is to only date women with the same color hair and length

 

[DJ Novice]

Most plates fall off and have to be replaced eventually with new ones. There are very few women who will enjoy plate status for an extended period of time. Most will push for commitment at some stage and will leave if that isn’t forthcoming to her satisfaction.

The risk of being found out by your main plate to be having side plates also increases the longer you spin multiple plates for. The logistics and deception become too hard to manage. You need to know when to cash out with side plates rather than keeping on gambling and risking losing your main plate.

 

[typical]

Thank you for the input guys, have given me a LOT to think about.

In terms of living dangerously, yes I do I think I like quite a few various flavours of ice cream which shows up in the women I date.

About the School teacher, she's knows of my past as I was open with her from the get go. She's never asked if I'm seeing anyone else but in the first year my gut feeling is she assumed I was. I also made her aware that I'm an avid sailor and do spend time around the various cities for work and yacht building etc.

I do think that with COVID happening and all the chaos that's happened since that she's not been to pushy in wanting a traditional commitment. But I do agree that she probably believes she's the only women in the picture as per my work/gym/sailing lifestyle appears busy ... But I can always make an evening free for a plate.

I'm a little hesitant to actually become monogamous after more than a decade of plate work, and having read and seen and heard of all the horror stories. I might be overthinking this (bah female behaviour).

I do know that in the next 20 years I don't want to be the 60+ year old man trying to seduce 30-35 year old women, especially when after 30 nearly all of them have baggage and drama of some sort.

If things do go sour all I lose is about 40 % of my wealth as some assets no one can touch.

This far I've actively refused to go down the traditional thought process of " Yes I would like to grow old with someone and have a family" it makes me feel like that's not for me or it's what beta chumps do or maybe I'm addicted to the chase.

I am drawn back to some of Pooks writing, especially about Rolling the dice and playing the game of life with whatever comes your way (he was more poetic). I'll most likely need some time to think and meditate on this.

Oh and just to jump back, all three women regardless of their lifestyle have cooked and cleaned my place (tidied up actually as I'm a neat and cleaning freak). School teacher goes the extra mile and knows what I like and don't like and will try new things (almost like a trial wife), stripper can throw together simple "meat and 3 veg dishes. The best cook is the Indian girl but too flakey and I feel she will eventually want an Indian lad to settle down with especially with how her parents are. They would not be happy that a 41 year old white bloke is going out with their daughter.

Apologies for another very disjointed post, it is 7am here.

Regardless I believe you guys are correct when it comes to wanting to have my cake and eat it too. I am leaning heavily towards the school teacher, she just makes things easy. It's 7am on Saturday morning and I can guarantee I text her to come over for the weekend and stay the whole of next week that I'll have her here by 10am with a small bag packed !!!

But I'm going to stay home this weekend and sort out the yard and just think things through. I don't want to be given the "Ultimatum" talk either, it comes across (well in my mind at least) that I had to commit due to the talk and not that I actually want to commit, as if I was forced to. This might also be part of the reason why she hasn't pushed any agenda as she's submissive and I feel she wants a man that wants to be in a monogamous relationship with her and not forced due to some social construct of "I gave him an ultimatum". Or maybe I'm going soft and would like to ask her to become official. I feel like I'm losing frame and starting to ramble.

 

[ValiantMale]

I doubt the authenticity of the information you shared.. something about this just doesn't feel genuine. It's like you are asking for advice but then used it as a place to seek validation or attention by talking about all your sexual partners seeminly randomly throwing in one after another.. I fail to see the point, or it gets lost in the bragadocious nature.

If i simplied your post it seems like a bunch of fantasies:
a) "Sailing club"
b) "Stripper"
c) "High end escort"
d) "school teacher"
e) "anal" (random mention of)
f) "lets me use her whenever i want"
g) "kinky indian nurse"

Not to mention all the random unnecessary details strung into it all.

P.S Just read your 2nd comment/reply in this thread and then you randomly started talking about how all your girls cook and clean for you and went into detail about how well they each cook.

I only mention all this because I was expecting to give out some advice the best I could but it doesn't seem like you're genuinely looking for it-- and alot of these random details and mentions seems more fantastical than realistic.