"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Potential Fiancee Whose Parents Are Divorced and Have New Spouses

Frank2500

Master Don Juan
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Greetings Everyone,

So my relationship with the woman I met in October last year while walking down the street has significantly evolved. The chemistry between us is great, she's a strong, Christian/God-fearing woman and our love has continued to grow. She has almost all of the physical and personality preferences that I desire in a woman and I am seriously thinking about getting engaged to her (proposing to her) at some point in the near future. However, there's something about her family that I discovered and that I'm afraid may lead to disapproval from my own side considering I was raised in a pretty conservative family:

1) Her parents have been divorced/separated for many years. She lives with her Mum and is her Mum's only child.


2) Not only are her parents divorced, but both of them have new spouses in their lives. Her Dad is married to a different woman and has about three or four children with her, while her Mum lives in their home with another man and is probably not on speaking terms with her ex-husband.


I was just wondering if any of you have been in such a complicated situation and if so, how you handled it. I'm already worried that having been raised in a strong Christian and conservative family, once these details are revealed, I would face very strong opposition from my family who would certainly disapprove of me going any further with the relationship. Yet the joy and peace this woman brings to me and the chemistry we share is something I don't want to lose. This is really the first woman I have been with with whom I share such special chemistry and a sincere love. What are you guys' thoughts?
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Ruleit

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How old is she?
What is her relationship history?
Why did her parents split?
What kind of church does she attend?
How long did it take to s3x her up?
 

Scaramouche

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Dear Frank,
If you look at the statistics you will find that that the odds are against you,also your Lady is probably coming to the end of her Child bearing years,possibly hears that Clock ticking,so will be on her best behaviour...A good guide to a how a Woman is likely to turn out is to look at her Mother,if she has lived with her for many years,chances are that she has absorbed much of her personality...You haven't known this Lady for a year yet,why not wait and see how she Norms out?
 

Frank2500

Master Don Juan
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She turned 29 a few months ago. Well, in two months I would have dated her for a year. I haven't yet gotten around to asking her why her parents separated because I didn't think she would feel comfortable telling me so soon. In terms of the church she goes to, she goes to a Pentecostal church (she's a born-again Christian and very dedicated to serving in church and prays a lot). I also haven't asked about her relationship history because the past is the past.

I'm in a complicated situation because I may have just 9 months left here I am and may be moving to North America after that...my contractual job opportunity in this Central African nation almost coming to an end. In that respect if I hope to get married to her I would have to make some sort of commitment.
 

Scaramouche

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Dear Frank,
Forget about the whole thing...If after a year you can't talk about relationships,hers or her parents,then how can you consider Marriage...Living in a Remote Land has twisted your values...I lived in New Guinea for a while,so I know how one will claw onto what is available...The Pentecostals are a Weird Crew believe me,there is a Spirit World out there and in their Glossalian Sessions they are in touch with it...The congregation,Elders and Ministers will always have power over this Girl...Get out Frank!
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Frank2500

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Re:

Well, in my personal opinion I don't think it's reasonable to dump a woman just because her parents separated several years ago and now live with new spouses. My relationship is with her, not with her parents and as long as she hasn't done anything wrong and is of good character, I don't think that should be a problem.
 

Scaramouche

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Dear Frank,
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
If you knew this before,why bother posting?.....You have made up your mind,plenty of time to consider and regret later!
 
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