"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Post your approaches here
- Thread starter Bling
- Start date
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Willspearec
Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 20, 2006
- Messages
- 14
- Reaction score
- 0
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Silkandsteel
Don Juan
- Joined
- Nov 17, 2006
- Messages
- 52
- Reaction score
- 5
Guys, I'm joking...
Mr_rogers
Senior Don Juan
"That's a cool way of spelling your name."
"Haha, yeah..."
I kind of choked there, but at least I said something.
Most of the time I just mumble thanks and leave.That's about where I am too. I choke too. But keep chugging! Eventually you'll quit choking, and you'll start sarging!Mr_rogers said:Today I was shopping for some clothes, and the girl behind the counter had an interesting name.
"That's a cool way of spelling your name."
"Haha, yeah..."
I kind of choked there, but at least I said something.
Doe Boii
Don Juan
"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
Me: Hey, what's up?
Her (acts annoyed): Ummm... nothin'
Me: You went to St. Mark right?
Her (gives attitude): yeah, do you know my name?
Me: No. Do you know mine?
Her: Daniel.
Me: I know your name too, but didn't want to come off as a stalker - Jillian.
Her (shudders): Ok...
I walk away... Yeah pretty bad. That stalker line killed the mood, but she was a ***** before that so whatever.
Me: ey girl my names wes
Her: (edgy sounding) hey
Me: I came all the way across this lunch room to talk to you and i dont eve get a name
Her: (small smile) ha my names kelly
Me: ah really look more like a tory to me but nice to meet ya kelly
im goin to go now have a date wit some pizza.(i act like i walk off turn my head and say)i hope your not lookin at my ass thats very rude(with a smile and major eye contact and then i walk off)
I saw her later on that day
Me: EY kayla right?
Her: has a funny face going on cus i didnt get her name right
Me: ha just kidding with ya no need to get sad on me kelly
Her: laughs wit smile
Me: well im about go so ill ttyl kelly
Her: by (with smile)
Me: UGH your not good at this are you this is where you give me your number and tell me to call you
Her: laughs (big smile) gives me her number
We walk off.
Doe Boii
Don Juan
thats good advice thanks for it, but i do use humor in my approaches its just i was typin how i start it and didn't add in all that because with each girl its different...what i typed was just basically a cut down version because u never know what u will say to the girl...but yea that is good advice for people because ALL girls like a man who can make them laugh...unless they're goths or something.snorida44x said:
So I drove to the bowling ally, and my friends were suppose to meet me. I went to the front, and the lady said it'd be 1 hour and 30 minutes till a lane would be open. I figured maybe I could try to mack my way into it...
Me: How long?
Her: 1 hour and 30 minutes.
Me: Well put me down for Daniel.
Her: We don't do reservations on Tuesdays.
Me: Dang... (notices book) What kind of math is that?
Her: Elementary Math.
Me: Oh, so you're going to be a teacher? Cool.
Her: No... that's where they put me.
Me: I'm confused... so you're in High School or college?
Her: College.
Me: How did you get into that?!
Her: I'm really bad at math.
Me: What college do you go to?
Her: Nova.
Me: Well... I got to go. Good luck in your math class..
Her: Thanks!
Not bad, but not good. At least I held a convo. with a stranger.
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Heart Break Kid
Master Don Juan
Might want to go a little easy on the questions, not bad though!Bling said:
When you start a convo you don't have to be genuinely funny, if you tease her in a playful way it's really funny and enjoyable for both of you. Some other things that make your conversation more interesting than John Doe are (when first approach but you could keep them) negs [if hot], sexual innuendo [go easy on it], cold reading, and misinterpreting what she said. Throw kino in when you can and a smile is always great... you're on the beach man...palm trees....sunset...fresh air...so relaxed [this is your body language.]
I'll do some approaches later Bling, just for you.
Snow Plowman
Master Don Juan
Friend:Hey look that hbblond is on lunch break go approach
Snow: blahblah(Talking to other friends)...What...O ok give me a min
Friend: Damn forget it
Snow: What happened?
Friend: Another co worker is next to her...and another
Snow: So I'm still going in regardless
*Walk to table* (Had no clue what to say at first so I just randomly said...)
Snow: Hey whats sup
hbblond: (to hbindia) What is this?
I ignore and start to plow
Snow: O your writing a love letter
HBblond: no blah blah friend blah fight blah blah writing to her blah
Snow: *Starts reading first sentence in a kind of gayish tone*
HBs: hahaha
Start cutting space, kino in less than 30 seconds...vibe, qualify 3rd hb..ask whats there favorite meal on the menu. Tell 3rd hb she has to make me her favorite meal next time I come. Take my own seat. Friends want to leave so I eject.
The set was super fun and it made me realized how easy it is to cut space, kino, and build some sexual tension. When I left I was in the front of the store dancing infront my friends. Everyone wanted to know what went down and was surprised that I had them laughing and touching.
Today in another store
Hb walks in and bumps me
HB: O sorry
*Dratmatically move as if she shoved me*
Hb: hahaha what an ass
SP: (To my friend) Damn this girl is strong
hb: hahaha
SP: You see she is a tough girl she shoves me and then skips me
hb: Did I skip you?
SP: You knowww ittt...but go ahead because I don't want you to beat me up
One thing I've been witnessing is if your not worrying about the outcome and just in the moment I tend to easily gain attraction sometimes I don't even have to do anything. Just 2 days ago this girl was all rubbing my chest up and we weren't talking about nothing I'm just on the wall getting my chest all rubbed up. Everyone that I tend to open, opens but that doesn't mean I always get the lay or number but 9 times out of 10 I have a overall great interaction and I added some fun to her day. Just sit on a public transportation and look how bored everyone is. I had a vision in my head that one day I could be on the bus and just start singing a song and get everyone to sing along or atleast pump everyone's state that way it isn't all boring.
Misinterpreting? Actually, that's genius. I've done that before, and got a laugh BUT never purposelly. Thanks, bro! Please do post your ****! I'm still getting in, but you're always there to remotivate me!Heart Break Kid said:Might want to go a little easy on the questions, not bad though!
When you start a convo you don't have to be genuinely funny, if you tease her in a playful way it's really funny and enjoyable for both of you. Some other things that make your conversation more interesting than John Doe are (when first approach but you could keep them) negs [if hot], sexual innuendo [go easy on it], cold reading, and misinterpreting what she said. Throw kino in when you can and a smile is always great... you're on the beach man...palm trees....sunset...fresh air...so relaxed [this is your body language.]
I'll do some approaches later Bling, just for you.
I got a date on Saturday, so we'll see how my DJ skills will work for that. Date's Best Friend really wants me to ask her out, but the girl never showed interested in me, imo. Her friend says "she doesn't exactly know me.", and wants to get to know me. So best friend and her boyfriend and me and my date are double dating. We'll see how the date feels about me!