I was really shy around girls I liked in high school. I'm now in college and have become much more social than I used to be, but I was wondering when I'm back home do I have any chance at all with girls who knew me from high school as the shy kid? Or is it unchangeable?
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
Post-shyness
- Thread starter Energy25
- Start date
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
zekko
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Aug 6, 2009
- Messages
- 16,806
- Reaction score
- 10,039
You're not locked into your role from high school. People change. I'm sure you know some girls in high school who were considered ugly then a few years later wham they blossomed into some nice looking women. Similarly, the shy guy from high school can be the cool guy from college. The popular jocks from high school can end up working for the nerdy guy they used to pick on. Situations change.
By the way, I was shy in my teens, but I was extremely social throughout my 20s. I think most people in their 20s are very social, they are testing their wings a bit I suppose. I'm not shy any more, but I am a natural introvert and I find I no longer enjoy the crowds and the constant hanging out with people like I did when I was younger. It's too bad in a way, but it happens to a lot of people when they get older. I don't want to spend all my time socializing when I don't want to, just so I can impress a few women.
By the way, I was shy in my teens, but I was extremely social throughout my 20s. I think most people in their 20s are very social, they are testing their wings a bit I suppose. I'm not shy any more, but I am a natural introvert and I find I no longer enjoy the crowds and the constant hanging out with people like I did when I was younger. It's too bad in a way, but it happens to a lot of people when they get older. I don't want to spend all my time socializing when I don't want to, just so I can impress a few women.
I was a massive nerd in high school/elementary school, and all the girls knew it. But disappear for a few years to college, learn some skills, and it can be a remarkable change.
I ran into a girl from elementary school a couple of months ago at a bar. She'd become ridiculously attractive since then, and I walked over to her at a bar and struck up a conversation. She couldn't believe how much I'd changed, and told me a few times during the night that she felt sorry for not getting to know me better back then. She ended up coming back to my place that night...
Don't focus on "will they like me?". Go home, have some fun, and they should see you in a different light. Don't make trying to close them your primary goal of being home, as it comes off as being needy (with this girl, I stopped to talk for maybe a minute, worked the room for a while, got some phone numbers, then she came and bought me a drink and wanted to catch up on old times).
I ran into a girl from elementary school a couple of months ago at a bar. She'd become ridiculously attractive since then, and I walked over to her at a bar and struck up a conversation. She couldn't believe how much I'd changed, and told me a few times during the night that she felt sorry for not getting to know me better back then. She ended up coming back to my place that night...
Don't focus on "will they like me?". Go home, have some fun, and they should see you in a different light. Don't make trying to close them your primary goal of being home, as it comes off as being needy (with this girl, I stopped to talk for maybe a minute, worked the room for a while, got some phone numbers, then she came and bought me a drink and wanted to catch up on old times).